


The Muses

by Bad_Wolf



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Romance, gets NSFW, im just following canon but making it better and gayer ok?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Wolf/pseuds/Bad_Wolf
Summary: This follows the plot of the show with a few tweaks to make it cuter.This is more of a character study for me, trying to figure out Victor and Yuuriupdates when I'm able to





	1. Snow in March

Yuuri had to admit that it was an embarrassing way to return home, on the heels of defeat. At least the airline seat was as uncomfortable as he deserved, and at the _very_ least he got a year between Sochi and coming home. His phone chimed with a new message just as the air stewards started walking down the aisles making sure everyone’s electronics were stowed away. Yuuri slouched further into his seat,

PHICHIT: You left a book in my room! It looks new, send me an address so I can mail it to you. Pup! :o

YUURI: I didn’t forget it. It’s a present. Did you think I wouldn’t congratulate you on getting that internship?? :p

PHICHIT: BOI! Thank you :***

Yuuri stifled his laughter and sent several blushing emojis.

YUURI: My planes about to take off. <<airplane emoji>> message me later, I want to hear all about it!

PHICHIT: KK. Also, seriously Yuuri, don’t give up!!!!!!!!

Yuuri switched off his phone and managed to put it away before the steward got to him, the pretty woman winked at him before she coaxed the seats behind him to put their phones away.

\-----------

By the time the plane touched down, Yuuri was eager to get home, to rest and just sleep. But as soon as he made it to Hasetsu’s train station he saw the five billion posters of him taped to every square inch of wall. And the banners! That was worse! But the worst was Minako waiting for him just beyond the gates, grinning widely and hosting a one-woman pep rally.

“You don’t have to do this,” Yuuri rushed forward, almost snatching the ridiculous banner with his name on it from her hands.

“Don’t be stupid! I _want_ to be here,” said Minako, waving the banner out of reach from Yuuri, “And we’d better go! Come on!” Yuuri allowed Minako to drag him on the train, and let her chatter on how everyone wanted to see him, Yuuri just gave her a look of utter disbelief.

“It’s pretty unbelievable that just a year ago you were skating on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov,” Minako said at last, when she gave up on trying to get Yuuri to do a welcome back tour to see everyone in the city.

“I wouldn’t say skating, I’d say more like flopping around,” muttered Yuuri.

Minako sighed and rolled her eyes, “Buck up, Yuuri. It’s not the end of the world, and you’re still young.”

Yuuri shrugged and was the first to hustle off the train as soon as they reached their station. At least his mother greeted him warmly, when he got home. The dance and a half that Minako made when he peeled off his outer gear was ear splitting, his mother sighed and pulled him after her to the private dining room, Minako trailing after them mourning Yuuri’s weight gain.

“Some people are just unlucky that way, Minako. Yuuri and his mother always gained weight easily, and now,” Yuuri’s father patted his stomach cheerfully, “I’m afraid I’ve started going through that too, now that I’m older. Nothing to be done!”

“Nothing to be done?! This is a disaster! How are you suppose to train if you’re not even in shape?” shrieked Minako, “You’re going to start running two, no _five_ miles every day. Or-"

Yuuri sighed, “I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to keep skating.” He poked sadly at the pork cutlet bowl his mother brought, but savored each bite anyway.

Minako put down her chopsticks, stunned, “Not continue? But everyone fails and makes mistakes!”

“Victor hasn’t,” said Yuuri resentfully, “Not like _this.”_ But he said it so only Minako would hear.

“Are you seriously comparing yourself to a veritable genius on ice? Unbelievable! Neither you nor I got to where we are by comparing ourselves to geniuses, nor pretending to be one either.”

Minako stared Yuuri down, daring him to disagree with her.

“I guess you’re right. Actually, I _have_ been skating, but not seriously, I’ve been doing it to keep busy.”

“Bus _ier_ ,” muttered Minako mutinously, “What was your GPA? How many clubs and associations were you a part of? Excuse me for not accepting this sad sack of _mush,_ ” she jabbed at Yuuri’s cheek, “As reality. You are-“

“Too hard on myself,” finished Yuuri, “I know what you think-“

“It’s _not_ just what I think! Mari agrees with me!” Minako slammed her chopsticks down, “We all believe in you, what’s it going to take to- for you realize that?”

“Maybe you’re right.” Yuuri let himself slide sideways, staring off into a wall.

Minako stared at him suspiciously, not liking the tilt of his chin, she gave up, “How’s Phichit?”

\--------------------

As soon as Minako went into the common areas of the inn, Yuuri went to visit Vicchan’s little shrine, and his older sister found him and started asking about his future, typical.

“I don’t think it’s that important,” said Yuuri with a smile, “I have some time to figure myself out.”

“Oh well,” said Mari, “I just wanted to make sure you know that we’re all still behind you. It mustn’t be easy to be on that big stage, but I think you did all right, considering.” She waved her hand at Vicchan’s shrine, “You’re not a genius, but you work hard.”

Yuuri smiled, “Thanks.”

“Go take a soak, you look terrible.”

“Your honesty is refreshing,” Yuuri’s dry tone made Mari smile.

\-----------------------

The hot springs did their magic, reliable as always. _I know I told Celestino I was done, but I don’t_ want _to be done, I’m just afraid that I have nothing left to give. Everyone’s being so nice to me, despite my failures._ Yuuri groaned and gently dug his forehead into the ledge of the hot spring. _Stupid, stupid, I wasted all of my efforts on worrying about everything, except skating. I had nothing left to give at Sochi, no wonder I did so badly. Victor didn’t even recognize me when he saw me, he thought I was some assistant or something._ Yuuri lifted his head, and ruefully rubbed his forehead. _Would it have made me happier to have him recognize me because of the terrible performance? Ugh..._

Yuuri slammed his hands on the ledge of the hot spring and heaved himself out, _enough. Yuko will tell me the truth!_

\------------------

He was dressed and running out of the door within ten minutes.

“Bye mom! I’m going to go practice!” he kissed her cheek as he was running out.

“Does this mean Minako’s diet plan is starting? Yuuri!? Ah, well.” Hiroko shrugged and went inside, the clouds overhead looked ominous. And it was suppose to be a nice weekend for viewing the cherry blossoms!

\--------------------------------

Hasetsu Ice Castle looked the same, maybe a little more run down than he remembered, but the familiar princess and warrior winked down at him from the front entrance. He pushed through the glass doors, the bells tinkled above his head, _same bells, same flooring, same walls._

“Oh, I’m sorry, but regular skating hours are over,” Yuko emerged from behind a boot rack, “Yuuri! You’re back!”

“Yeah,” Yuuri smiled brightly and stepped closer, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Pfft! Get over here!” Yuko jumped over the counter and grabbed his hands, “You want to skate by yourself, right? Go on ahead, I’ll cover for you!”

“Actually,” said Yuuri, “I want you to see something.”

The rink felt like an old threadbare sweater, comfortable and dingy, and rolling in memories. Yuuri took a deep breath and started his routine. Through the turns and steps, he occasionally caught site of Yuko’s face. On the first jump, which he adjusted to a triple, he heard her gasp as she recognized the routine. For the step sequence, he skated near Yuko and she laughed at his exaggerated poses. Grinning, Yuuri skated away, continuing with the routine. Yuuri almost knew the words by heart, it was a tragic song, strange to have Victor skating this. He did all the jumps perfectly, but went through the step sequence a little faster than usual.

“That was amazing!” Yuko slammed her fists onto the half wall, “It was beautiful! It was a perfect copy of his expression!” Yuuri smiled and did a small bow to give Yuko time to wipe her eyes.

“I thought you’d be a mess, and depressed.” Yuko continued to rub her eyes as she motioned Yuuri over to her. “I know how you hate to lose.”

Yuuri skated close, shrugging, “Yeah...”

Yuko started as three heads popped over the rink wall, “Oh! You remember my girls, right? Big fans of yours.”

“Oh, hello,” Yuuri smiled nervously at the staring triplets who immediately broke out into a hundred questions. When he managed to escape the dinner invitations from Yuko, questions from the triplets, and rough housing from Takeshi , Yuuri felt like he was walking on springs. He hadn’t felt happier or more at ease in the past year. Yuko and he walked out, “What are you going to do?”

“I want to keep skating, but I don’t know. I’m missing something.”

Yuko glanced over to Takeshi who was hustling his daughters into their coats for the ride home.

“A spark,” said Yuko suddenly, snapping her fingers, “You’re missing a muse!”

“Victor was our muse, he’s still my inspiration.”

“No no no,” said Yuko quickly, “Victor’s a celebrity for us still. It has to be someone closer, something deeply personal.”

“A spark,” echoed Yuuri, “I think I understand. Thanks Yuko!” He hugged her briefly and took off running for home. _I understand what Yuko says, but I’m not sure where I’ll find my spark, my muse. I just don’t know._ Yuuri tightened his fists as he ran, _But I won’t stop, not this time. I’m going to do well because-_ But Yuuri couldn’t finish the sentence, and despite himself, felt a little discouraged at his lack of inspiration.

\--------------------------------

Yuuri dashed out of his room the next day, hoping to get to Minako’s job before she left, it was already after noon. He snapped his head around at the public dining room.

“I’ve decided to continue skating.” Yuuri slid in next to Minako who was already on her fourth bottle of what looked like sake, it was only early afternoon too. Always a traditionalist.

“Really! Oh!” Minako grabbed Yuuri’s hands and said fiercely, “I promise to support you no matter what. Come rain or shine! Morning or night!”

“Thank you,” he briefly hugged Minako before leaving to go on a run, he didn’t feel tired at all. It was an unusually cold morning, but the clouds had cleared up, so the sun provided some warmth. _I have to find something to motivate me,_ mulled Yuuri, _I can’t just skate for myself. It’s never worked, but I don’t know what to do. This is hard, BUT worth it!_ He reminded himself as he rounded the bay, he greeted the usual old men that fished for half the day and smoked the other half while gossiping. _I just have to figure out_ what’s _worth all of this work_.

He still hadn’t figured it out by that night, even after talking with both Minako and Yuko some more. He gave it up and decided to go to sleep.

His phone buzzed.

TAKESHI: Yuuri, I’m really sorry, please call me right away.

Alarmed, Yuuri punched in his number.

“Oh hello Yuuri, I hope not to have scared you too much, but I’m really sorry about this-“

Yuuri tried to follow whatever Takeshi was saying, but he was occasionally being drowned out by Yuko yelling and the girls screeching and crying in the background.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?” Yuuri crunched his eyes shut and plugged his other ear closed.

Takeshi took in a deep breath, “It went viral, the triplets had a video of you skating that routine, I’m sorry. As you can hear-“

Yuuri’s door slammed open just as he turned his phone off and Minako pounced on him. “What the fuck are you thinking!? Not that it wasn’t something cool to see but-“

Yuuri froze and decided that blanking out was his best option.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Get out of your room, Yuuri. It’s already past 2. Go out to shovel snow at least,” Hiroko called through Yuuri’s door, she briefly thought about immediately telling him about the foreigner, then rejected the idea. She wouldn’t facilitate Yuuri staying holed up in his room, if he wanted to know what was happening outside his door, he’d have to leave his room. ”Yuuri?” She called again.

“I’m up!” Yuuri blindly groped for his phone and looked outside while it turned on. It had snowed! “Wow, look at that,” Yuuri rested his chin on his hands as he looked outside, pressing his thumb to the window to doodle an ice skate. His phone started buzzing and chirping, he groaned.

PHICHIT: Call me!

PHICHIT: Yuuri! Call me! Seriously!  :S

PHICHIT: ASDKLJH!! Pup! I want to talk about the video! <<several thumbs up emojis and one pink flower emoji>>

Even Hisashi had messaged him

HISASHI: Does this mean you’ve decided to continue skating? This isn’t an interview, I’m just concerned.

And for some reason, Christophe Giacometti had also sent him a few messages, Yuuri didn’t even remember giving him his phone number, why was his name spelled so weird in his phone? And what was up with the contact photo? It was Christophe’s face so zoomed in that all you could see was one eye, an eyebrow, some hair, and part of his forehead. Was that even his face? Curious, Yuuri swiped to see the message.

CHRISTTTTPHE GIACCO: Don’t you think the copy cat routine is a little over the top? I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten! ;)

Yuuri immediately deleted all of the messages and fixed Christophe’s name in his phone. He tapped his phone against this forehead and muttered, “Don’t hole yourself up.” He swiped over to Phichit’s messages and started typing.

YUURI: I don’t want to talk about it. It was suppose to be private, but Yuko’s triplets recorded it and well <<skull emoji, blushing emoji, crying emoji, skull emoji>>

PHICHIT:  Do you want my opinion?

YUURI: ....

PHICHIT: ................

YUURI: .............................

PHICHIT: ................................................

YUURI: ..................................................................

PHICHIT: ................................................................................................................... ................................................................................................................................................

YUURI: YES, I MIGHT AS WELL

PHICHIT: lmao.

PHICHIT: I thought it was really rough, but you put a lot of passion into it. Obvs the step sequence was FLAWLESS <<painted nails emoji>>. But you’re dancing is always <<painted nails emoji>>.     ANEWAY, why did you even practice it???? <<emoji rubbing its chin in thought>>

YUURI: I didn’t have any other motivation

PHICHIT: :o

PHICHIT: Ok, thanks for talking to me. :*

YUURI:   :-S    :-)

PHICHIT: Ugh, those noses haunt me in my dreams, Pup.

YUURI: :----------------o

PHICHIT: <<knife emoji>> <<skull emoji>>

Yuuri dropped back into bed, relieved.

\-----------------

“Good morning, dear,” said his mom with a soft smile when she saw Yuuri come traipsing into the front room, carrying a shovel, “Now go on out and shovel some snow.” She hurried away to where his dad usually worked, weird.

As soon as Yuuri opened the door Yuuri saw the poodle. His stomach flopped involuntarily, “Vicchan?!”

It leaped and Yuuri realized it wasn’t a trick of the light, it was a huge poodle, that was vaguely familiar. Yuuri fell back, cradling the dog and petting it.

“Just like Vicchan, right?” his dad called out from the window hatch.

“Whose is this? It’s beautiful!” Yuuri laughed and hugged the dog, and the pooch melted right into his arms, “Good boy,” murmured Yuuri, scratching its head.

“It’s...the foreigner’s,” said his father, with barely a pause, almost barely. Yuuri looked back at him, still cuddling the dog.

“What?”

“A handsome foreigner!” chimed his mother. Yuuri didn’t see the looks they gave each other as he hurriedly checked the tags on the dog, none. Who doesn’t have such a gorgeous dog tagged?

“He’s in the hot spring.” added his mother helpfully, “He’s tall and has silver hair.”

 Yuuri slid out from under the dog, kicked his shoes off and sprinted for the hot springs, slamming into a bric-a-brac table that Mari worked hard to get just right. He skidded through the steam and shower rooms, rubbed his glasses and then burst out to the back.

“Oh my God.”

“Yuuri, I’m so glad to finally see you.”

It was Victor Nikiforov. _That Victor Nikiforov_.

“What are you doing?!” yelled Yuuri, he slammed his hand over his mouth, “What are you doing here?” Quieter, but still demanding an explanation.

Victor smiled, as if expecting this and stood in the knee high water.

Whatever Victor said next was lost on Yuuri, _naked, naked, sit down!!_ He lifted his gaze and vaguely heard Victor say something excitedly.

“What did you say?” Yuuri knew he sounded incredibly rude, but there was a disconnect happening between what he should say and what was pouring out of his mouth.

Looking a tiny bit put out that his grand gesture hadn’t been properly received, Victor splashed back down into the water and said, “I’ve come to be your coach!” He splashed some water towards Yuuri, “I saw the copycat video. And I’ve decided to become your coach.” He reclined in the water, expectantly.

Yuuri blinked a couple times, “O-okay” then turned on his heel and went back inside.


	2. The Bells

_It was a bit much to hope for_ , conceded Victor as he woke up, _A bit ambitious to not have even called him, I guess._ The fierce whispering between Yuuri and someone else, a woman, continued. They fell silent and Victor snuggled closer to Makkachin, he was rather smug about the way his robe slid off his shoulder. The woman said something, and Yuuri slowly responded, then he switched to English.

“Ssh! What if the other guests here you.” This was from Yuuri, he sounded worried.

“So what?! What do they care?” said the woman, responding in English as well. “You have to take advantage of this!”

 _I should probably get up_ , _but this is so nice, I am still hungry though..._ Victor sneezed and both Yuuri and the woman gasped. _Oh well!_ Victor sat up, “I’m hungry.”

Both Yuuri and a good-looking older woman were sitting behind him, they glanced at one another and moved to join him at the table. “W-what would you like to eat? Oh, and this is Minako, my very good friend and mentor.”

Minako beamed at Victor and held out a slim hand, Victor shook it. “We-ell, since I’m going to be your coach, I’d like to know what _you_ like to eat.” He rested his chin on his hands.

Minako laughed, “That’s easy! Pork cutlet bowls!”

She nudged Yuuri who chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, “But I can’t really eat them a lot.”

“Oh?”

“He gains weight easily,” said Minako, arching an eyebrow, Yuuri blushed. “He’s only _supposed_ to eat them on special occasions, like when he medals.”

Victor forgot what he was about to say as Yuuri’s mother appeared with a large, steaming bowl of something that smelled heavenly.

“Is that-?”

“That’s it!” Minako and Yuuri crowed.

 _Hiroko_ , remembered Victor, as Yuuri’s mother placed the tray before him. “Eat up!” She gave his shoulder a pat, she must have given Yuuri a look as she left because he hurriedly said, “Are you going to be staying here?”

Victor tasted the food, “Wow! This is so good! No wonder it’s popular!” He dug in with earnest.

Yuuri leaned forward on the table, “You really like it? I helped my dad create it a few years ago.”

“It’s delicious,” moaned Victor. Minako winked at Yuuri, he grinned at her, Victor slammed his bowl down, “That was so good! Do you eat this often?”

“Oh yes!” said Yuuri happily.

“Oh really? I wonder why that is?” Victor smiled widely at him.

“Huh?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you haven’t won anything in a long time, right? And this is really fattening, right?”

“It is,” agreed Minako, her eyes glittering.

“And you’re obviously way out of shape, there’s no way I could train you like this. It would be a waste of my time,” Victor’s voice turned acidic, “And I didn’t come here to mess around. I came here to make you win. So why,” his smile grew wider, “are you eating this so often?”

Yuuri sputtered just as the the dining room door slid open and Mari walked in.

“Hey, Yuuri do you know what all of these shipping boxes are all about?”

“Oh they’re mine!” said Victor, recognizing the young woman as related to Yuuri, probably a sister?

“Ah, Victor, where will you be staying?”

“Here, of course! In order to be your coach, I need to know everything about you!”

“Ah... Okay.” Yuuri stood, “Well, let’s find you a room then.”

Minako also stood said something quietly to Yuuri, and nodded to Victor as she left. Victor stood to one side, pretending not to listen in as Yuuri and his sister discussed where he would sleep.

“Do you prefer to sleep upstairs or on the ground floor,” asked the young woman, “I’m Mari, by the way, Yuuri’s older sister. I’m sure he hasn’t said anything.” She didn’t glare at Yuuri exactly, but it was definitely a _look_. Yuuri pretended not to see.

“I want to sleep as near to Yuuri as possible. This is so fun,” said Victor as Mari handed him one of his own boxes to carry.

Mari shrugged and somehow they all managed to get Victor’s stuff into an unused room, it didn’t have a bed. “No sofa?”

“Uh no, sorry. We don’t really use this room at all,” Yuuri sounded apologetic, but at least the room was warm. “I’ll get you blankets and stuff, I’ll be right back.”

Victor looked around the room, it was pretty small, but the window opened out to the ocean and he was right next door to Yuuri. _I can always order furniture, the important thing is that Yuuri accepted me as his coach. He just has to lose all that weight_... Victor sighed, wondering for the first time, if this had been a misguided idea. _Yuuri will just have to learn to practice more, he will learn to be diligent_ , swore Victor to himself and satisfied with that, he started putting some of his clothes away.

When Yuuri came back, Victor made a great deal of fuss over his bed which was a pretty squishy mat with enough blankets to keep a shaved bear warm during a winter storm.

When the bed was made, Yuuri crouched to look at the box nearest the door, “Do you want help putting this other stuff away?”

“Hm? No, leave that to me. What I want is to know more about you,” he crouched near Yuuri, placing a hand on his shoulder, “If I’m going to be your coach, I need to know what kind of person you are, what you love, your preferences.” He slid his hand down slowly to Yuuri’s wrist, _that ought to get his attention_. Yuuri started, but didn’t move away. “I want you to trust me completely. If you like, we can start right now,” he cupped Yuuri’s chin, bringing him in close.

Yuuri balked and managed to slam his head into the wall behind him.

Amazed, Victor asked, “Are you okay?” Yuuri scuttled further away like some strange beetle.

“F-fine!” said Yuuri, obviously not fine, “I just have to um- it’s late.” He was blushing to the tips of his ears.

 _Endearing,_ _but confusing_ , decided Victor, he looked at his phone, “You’re right, it _is_ late.” It was a bit past ten. Yuuri immediately stood up and hustled to his room.

“Can I sleep with you instead Yuuri? I hate sleeping alone!” Victor called down the hall.

“Sleep with Makkachin! Don’t worry about the blankets.” called Yuuri from the safety of his room. “They can be washed.”

“That’s not-“ said Victor crossly, but he stopped himself. He looked at Makkachin, “Can you believe this guy?” Makkachin could not believe anything, let alone that the nice woman downstairs had fed him _two_ whole bowls of scraps. Unbelievable! Makkachin wagged his tail faster.

Resigned to his fate, Victor stripped and slid into bed, Makkachin curled up next to Victor. “This was not a mistake,” whispered Victor to Makkachin,  “This was not a mistake,” he repeated to himself, but still he couldn’t help but feel a bit lost. Victor took a deep breath, _this is suppose to feel weird and uncomfortable, I’m somewhere new and doing something different._

\------------------------

Someone was hauling away at his door like the inn was on fire. Yuuri stumbled out of bed and opened the door.

“Seriously? It’s like 9 in the morning, the day’s already half over!” Victor looked him down reproachfully, and tried pushing him aside, “Here, I’ll find some workout clothes while you brush your teeth and grab an apple or-“

Yuuri slammed the door in his face.

“Or not. You have five minutes!” Victor called through the door.

“Okay, okay.”

Victor borrowed a bicycle from Yuuri’s father and had to listen to Yuuri gasp all the way to where the ice rink was.

“That’s it,” said Yuuri, gasping and sucking in wind, “Ice Castle.” He fought to speed up.

“Quaint,” said Victor happily, “Did you practice here as a child?”

“Always, until I moved to Detroit and Phichit and Celestino.” Yuuri gasped between each name.

Victor decided to hold off on his questions or risk having Yuuri deflate his lung while trying to run and talk.

The inside of the ice castle was homey and cluttered, very different from his own home rink. “Hi! I’m Victor Nikiforov, I’m going to be Yuuri’s new coach!” He greeted the two, clearly stunned people at the front desk. Three little girls popped their heads out and immediately started screeching. _Oh dear, I guess they do know who I am_. _Well, that ought to make some things easier._ “Can I go skate?” When neither the man or woman answered, Victor turned, half hesitant, to Yuuri.

“Victor, this is Yuko and Takeshi Nishigori and their triplets: Axel, Lutz, and Loop.”

“Cute!” said Victor enthusiastically, _adorable!_

“Thank you! And please feel free to go and skate,” she motioned to the door that lead directly to the rink. Victor swept by and Yuuri trailed him, the triplets rushed ahead whooping and shouting happily.

Yuko rushed past Yuri and Victor, managing to grab Lutz. “Stay off the ice while Victor skates,” she called to the other two crossly, while Lutz squirmed in her arms. The other two crawled up into their father’s arms. Victor chuckled and sat down to pull on his skates. Yuuri sat down on the same bench. “You aren’t to skate until you’re the same weight you were at the Sochi Grand Prix, understood?” Victor said in a severe voice.

Yuuri nodded, miserably, then he brightened, “It won’t take long.”

“They’re really a cute family,” said Victor, glancing at the Nishigoris.

Yuuri nodded, smiling at Yuko who bounced and grinned at him.

Victor took to the ice and Yuuri went to join Yuko and Takeshi where they were standing.

“Can we upload videos of Victor?” asked Loop excitedly.

“No! Absolutely not!” hissed Yuuri.

“If you girls upload a single picture of Victor without our permission or Yuuri’s, I will take all of the electronics in the house and sell them, including my phone!” warned Yuko, the girls turned to look at their father who glared them down too, they turned to Yuuri who looked at them coldly as well.

“Fine,” they chirped, but shot each other conspiratory looks.

“I’m serious,” growled Yuko, looking truly terrifying.

“Okay! Okay!” The triplets squirmed to the floor and Yuuri turned to watch Victor skate.

“It’s unbelievable, Yuuri. I.... really can’t believe this.” Yuko whispered as Victor did some light jumps and spins to loosen up.

“I know, I’m still.... I’m so happy Yuko,” Yuuri leaned on the rink wall, grinning broadly, “I couldn’t go to sleep. I kept pacing around my room.” Yuko bounced on her toes but didn’t say anything.

Victor started doing more difficult jumps and they stopped talking, focusing on his jumps. Takeshi whistled admiringly whenever Victor did a quad. Eventually, Victor skated over to them.

“It’s a nice rink, the size and angles are correct.” Victor looked at Yuuri, waiting.

“Oh!” Yuuri turned to Yuko and Takeshi, “Um, is it alright if we use Ice Castle as our home rink?”

“Of course!” said Yuko happily, “No problem!”

“None at all,” said Takeshi, “You can count on our support.”

\------------------------------------

Back at Yu-Topia Inn, they sat down for a light lunch with Minako. Victor noted the tall bottle of sake at Minako’s side.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit early to start drinking?” Yuuri asked as he brought their lunch out. They were sitting in the public dining room, Victor glanced around at the other people sitting at their own tables, chatting happily.

“Hey, Hottie,” said Minako sharply, “Your food. And no it’s not, respect you elders.”

“Oh, yum!” Victor took the tray from Yuuri. Yuuri snorted at Minako and they dug in. _This is really nice,_ Victor was enjoying the chatter and banter, but still he couldn’t help but wonder what Yuuri’s situation was. Makkachin nosed up to him, but Victor tapped his snout in a gentle reproach. Unrepentant, Makkachin ran off into the kitchen. “What are you planning on doing this afternoon?” Minako directed this question at Victor.

He shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

“Well, Ice Castle is always open for you, the hot springs,” listed Yuuri.

“What are _you_ doing this afternoon?”

“Minako and I are going to practice ballet.” said Yuuri, quickly filling his mouth with as many vegetables as he could.

“Ah, well, I’ll take Makkachin on a walk then. It looks like a nice day.”

\-------------------

Minako was a hard teacher, had always been a perfectionist and obsessed with getting Yuuri to be a perfectionist too, not that she’d ever succeeded. At least Yuuri had great stamina.

“Alright, take a breather,” ordered Minako, she tossed him a towel. Yuuri let himself bend over, holding onto the barre.

“Maybe he’s just bored of always being on top, a five time living legend, it’s _got_ to become boring some time.”

“I’ve thought of that,” said Yuuri grimly, “But I don’t like thinking about it.”

Minako shook her head, “You’re right, it doesn’t matter _why_ he’s here. Only that he’s here.” She excitedly smacked the barre, “The only thing that matters is that you take full advantage of him!”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t mean it in a cruel manner, only that you realize you have a _living legend_ in your home, if you let this opportunity slide, I’ll retire you myself,” threatened Minako.

Yuuri held out his hands in defense, “ Don’t get excited yet, I haven’t even been on the ice.”

“Right you are, my boy,” said Minako, a steel glint in her eyes, “Let’s go again. I’ll get you on that ice or kill you.”

Yuuri laughed and did as she ordered.

\------------------

“Oh, welcome back Yuuri!” Victor was fooling around with Makkachin in the front yard.

“Hello, what are you doing?”

“Nothing, should we go to the park to exercise? I’m bored.”

“Ugh, no. I’m dead.”

“Yuuri!” his mom was coming out of the inn, she must have been watching for him. She pulled him in close, “I know Victor’s your idol, and that he’s famous. But he’s still here alone, taking a huge chance on you. He needs a friend right now.”

Yuuri chewed his lip, “You don’t know if he wants to be my friend. He’s just here-“

Hiroko propped her hands on her hips, “Yes?”

Yuuri looked back at Victor who was looking at them with curiosity.

“Why would he want to be my friend? I’m so-“

Hiroko laid a hand on Yuuri’s cheek, “Don’t hole yourself up in there, remember?”

“I remember,” said Yuuri, “Thanks.”

“Okay, okay, go have fun you two!” she waved Yuuri away.

“Come on Victor. There’s a great hiking trail that leads up to that ninja house!”

“Ninja house?!” Victor stared at the hill with the castle on top. “Are there real ninjas?”

Yuuri grinned, “No, it’s a museum, but there is a martial arts school back towards down town, if you want to join. Come on let’s take the bus to the ninja house.”

Victor gasped, “Do you think it would be a good idea? I’ve never thought of doing that.”

“The martial arts school? Why not? I’ve seen them practice and they wear a lot of padding. And you have loads of time, right?”

“That’s true,” Victor fell silent, his eyes shining.

The hill was lush with trees and the steps leading up were steep. Victor made Yuuri take a picture of him and Makkachin.

“How old is Makkachin?” Yuuri handed the phone back and watched Victor apply a pink filter and several hashtags.

“Eleven-ish,” said Victor, “Let’s go!” Victor made his way towards the worn wooden steps leading straight up to the castle.

“This is the scenic route,” said Yuuri pointing to a pathway that was almost over grown in places.

“Even better!” Victor peered into the underbrush, “It looks like a really old path, is it safe?”

“We-ell, of course.” Yuuri innocently clasped his hands together, peering into the trees,” I wouldn’t take you anywhere dangerous.”

“Not very convincing are you?” Victor stepped onto the path, Yuuri followed closely behind, “So what kind of monster do legends tell of?” Victor grinned.

Yuuri shrugged mysteriously, “It’s not a monster, it’s like um...it’s just a dumb legend, you wouldn’t want to hear it.”

Victor hmphed, “Bullshit. Tell me the story, I won’t be scared.”

“I told you, it’s not a scary story. Supposedly, making a full circuit of the hill let’s you ask the spirits for a wish-“

“Oooh!”

“Ah,” Yuuri held up a cautionary hand, “But! The spirits can either grant your wish or make it your worst nightmare. Fifty-fifty chance.”

Victor stared at him suspiciously, “Have you made wishes here?”

“Oh yes, tons of them. But you’re not suppose to tell anyone about it until you’re sure it’s true and the spirits can’t mess with you.” Yuuri waved his hand. “But it’s just an old story that gets popular around here, especially around exam time.” He grinned, “Yuko, Takeshi, and I must’ve walked this hill a hundred times before our exams.”

“Do you think I should make a wish?” Victor stopped walking.

Yuuri shrugged, “How should I know? How strongly do you feel about the wish?”

“I’m staking my future on it,” said Victor too cheerfully, “No big deal.”

Yuuri frowned and shrugged again, he felt short of breath for a moment.

Victor clasped his eyes shut and bounced once on his heels. “Done! I’ve made my wish, continue your tour!”

“Hah.”

But for the rest of the hike, Victor couldn’t get more than two words out of Yuuri at a time. The sun was setting as they finally made their way back to the front of the hill, bells from the ninja house were tolling.

“What are the bells for?”

“No idea, the people who work up there just ring them around sunset.”

“I’m hungry, Yuuri. Let’s go out to eat.”

“Ah, I’m pretty exhausted.” _This has been enough interaction for one day._

Victor shrugged, “Okay, I’m going out to eat then. See back at your place.”


	3. A Challenger Appears

Victor dodged the early morning barrage of visitors to the inn on his way out. “I’m off, Mrs. Katsuki!”

“Take a bite of this!” Mrs. Katsuki ran out, the crowd parting before her like a shoal, she spooned some sort of stew into his mouth.

It tasted pleasantly of fish, vegetables, some pungent spice, and garlic. “It’s good! Dinner?”

“And lunch! I read that this fish protects the heart.” She waved the spoon, “Toshiya and I have to eat healthy too. Have a nice run.”

“Thank you,” Victor took off. The sun was barely rising, and the wind was bracing, he had enough time for a run before Yuuri managed to haul himself out of bed. Today Yuuri would finally get on the ice, and then they’d both go to ballet class with Minako. _At least I have that._ For the past week, Yuuri had absolutely refused to spend any time with Victor outside of practice or Yu-Topia. _It’s barely a toehold; I’d like Yuuri to open up to me_. Even in conversation, Yuuri was pretty close-mouthed about everything that swerved near to being personal. _A difficult man for sure, but why? What’s holding you back, Yuuri?_ Victor poured his frustrations into his run.

\---------

Yuuri’s alarm chirped several times before Yuuri dragged his head up.

“I’m up,” he slurred to no one in particular. His room looked strange without all of the posters of Victor papering the walls. _I still can’t believe he’s here! I can’t believe he’s actually here,_ Yuuri gripped his face, desperate excitement bubbled up in him. He bolted up and out of bed, quickly getting dressed.

“Ma? Do you, oof, sorry sir.”

“Be careful, Yuuri,” grumbled a customer as he made his way out of the steam baths.

“Ma?”

“Victor’s left already, dear.” Hiroko emerged from the dining room, a tray tucked under her arm, she looked tired from dealing with the influx of customers. Word of Victor’s location had finally gotten out, and Yu-Topia as well as Hasetsu in general, were swamped with tourists and reporters alike. She followed Yuuri to the front room.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Yuuri knotted his sneakers quickly, “Did he say if he’s at Ice Castle?”

“Probably. Toshiya?” his mother opened the service hatch.

 “Here have some breakfast.” Yuuri’s father poked his head out of the kitchen and tossed Hiroko a still steaming bun.

Yuuri took a giant bite from the stuffed sweet bread in his mother’s hands and took off, leaving the rest of the bread with her. “He’s got his head in the clouds today,” said Yuuri’s father, shaking his head.

Yuuri sprinted the entire way, greeting the old timers by the bay as an after thought. There was a giant crowd trying to get into the Ice Castle.

Yuuri made it up the stairs and slammed into the glass doors. _Today’s the day!_

The triplets were out front doing crowd control.

“Guess what!” he gasped at them, his glasses sliding almost off his face, “I get to actually start skating today! I’m at the same weight- Gah!” Someone shoved him through the doors. The triplets gasped.

Yuuri skidded to a stop, _Who would-?_

“What the hell is your problem! First you pretend to be a professional skater, _now_ you make Victor come be your coach?”  

Yuuri picked himself off the floor, still wheezing from his run and a bit muddled from being shoved, “Yuri Plisetsky???” _What are you doing here? Do your parents know you’re here? Does your coach??? Oh geez._

“Ah,” said Yuri in affirmation, he took a quick look around at Ice Castle, “You know he promised to create a short program for me, and he promised _years ago_. I have dibs.”

 _Fierce kid._ Yuuri still wasn’t sure what the kid wanted or what he thought they were arguing about, maybe Victor would know.

“So whatever he promised _you_ will have to wait,” snarled Yuri.

 _That does sound like something Victor would promise,_ thought Yuuri. “Well we haven’t really begun talking about programs, so-“

“Unbelievable!” Yuri looked at him in disgust, “You force Victor to take a whole year off and _then_ don’t even start right away? Pig! Is getting him for a coach not enough? You also have to waste his time with you here? What a joke! I bet he’s miserable and-“

 _Oh geez, there he goes_. Yuuri pocketed his hands and smiled at Yuri, as he ranted off.

“ _What_ are you smirking about? You just can’t make him-” snarled Yuri.

Yuuri waved for Yuri to follow him, “Has Victor _ever_ done anything he didn’t want to?”

“No,” huffed Yuri after a pause.

“Then save your breath and ask Victor himself why he’s here,” said Yuuri briskly, leading him out to the edge of the rink. _He’s here for me,_ Yuuri clenched his jaw as they entered the cold rink.

Yuri ran ahead and hung onto the rink wall, transfixed with Victor’s skating.

“It was suppose to be this year’s program.” said Yuri, “Those movements...” He glared at Yuuri, “Unbelievable.”

Yuuri didn’t say anything, Victor finished the step sequence and did a jump, flowing into an easy turn. “He was having trouble you know,” said Yuri cryptically.

“With what?” Yuuri followed Victor’s movements as he continued to skate, oblivious to them.

“His main goal is to surprise the audience, give them something they’ve never seen: new inventions and ways of expression, but the audience has seen it all. No one’s surprised anymore. At least,” added Yuri in a mutinous tone, “not by him. And without inspiration, what good is it to continue?” contempt crept into Yuri’s voice.

“I’ve been struggling with that too,” admitted Yuuri.

“I’m surprised you can do anything on the ice, except break it,” sneered Yuuri, he turned back to Victor and yelled, “Looks good Victor! Is that part of my program?”

Victor jerked around, looking surprised for a moment. “Does Yakov know you’re here?”

“Forget him, you piece of crap! You’ve forgotten haven’t you!?” Yuri was seething again by the time Victor glided closer. Victor glanced at Yuuri, who only shrugged at him. Victor shrugged, _I guess it’s only natural that Yuri be here, and maybe.... maybe this will help my Yuuri._

“Well, you know, I’m pretty forgetful,” said Victor cheerfully, stepping off the ice.

“You promised that you’d choreograph a short program for me!” spat Yuri, slapping the rink wall, “Instead you run off and waste your time with _him_.”

Victor nodded, remembering the promise, “This _is_ a conundrum.” Victor tapped his chin, gaze sliding from Yuri to Yuuri and back again. “I’ve got it! I’ll make a short program for both of you tomorrow and whoever can skate it the best by the end of the week-“

“Will decide what you do!” interrupted Yuri, “Whoever wins gets you as coach!”

“What!” Yuuri shrieked, “That’s not-! I don’t want to be punished for-“

“What an excellent idea!” agreed Victor, clapping his hands. _If this doesn’t motivate Yuuri to succeed then nothing I could ever do will be enough. He has to create his own strength from this challenge._ Victor snapped out of his reverie when the triplets started yelling.

“We can make this into an event! Everyone will love it!”

Victor felt excited, _this is getting more fun by the minute_ , “You should definitely tell the press about it! They’ll eat it up!”

Victor felt like twirling, “And don’t you fret, you two. I’ll make sure to come up with something different for each of you.”

\---------

Yuri followed them home, complaining the whole time. It was very late and the ocean blew a cold wind inland.

Once they reached Yu-Topia, Yuri sneered, “This is it?”

“There are hot springs to bathe in,” said Yuuri, “And-“

“I don’t care if there are hot springs! I’m not bathing with other people! Yuck!” He stuck his tongue out, “But this is where both of you are staying, right? Then I’m staying here too!”

“Wha-at?!” _Why would he want to stay here? He obviously thinks it’s beneath him._

Yuri jabbed Yuuri’s chest, “It’s not fair that you get to keep Victor all to yourself.”

“Well that’s true,” said Victor pleasantly, “I’m sure it won’t be a problem, right?”

“I guess not.”

“I’m starving,” declared Yuri, “When’s dinner?”

“Oh!” Victor exclaimed, “I know exactly what you should eat!”

“A bath first,” said Yuuri, glancing at Yuuri, “Would be best for everyone.”

Victor snickered, but Yuri fumed silently.

\-----------------

“I can’t believe he came all the way to Japan, alone! And without Yakov’s permission.” Victor said in admiration, “Can you believe he’s only fifteen?”

“He’s sure.... high-spirited,” said Yuuri carefully. They both wore robes from the inn, Yuuri’s had his name carefully stitched over his heart.

Victor beamed, “Isn’t he though? Ah, Yuri!” Yuri pushed his way into the private dining room, Hiroko came in behind him, carrying a tray laden with food.

“Now, if you need anything, just come and get me, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Thank you!” said Victor, he nudged Yuri.

“Ah.... thanks Mrs. uh.... Katsuki, it looks really good.” Yuri managed, looking embarrassed.

“No problem dear, you’re going to be staying here?”

“Yeah... if that’s not a- um problem.”

“Of course not!” reassured Mrs. Katsuki. _What a cute kid! He looks tough too._

Mari poked her head in, “What is this? A party? There’s luggage out front.”

“We have another friend of Yuuri’s whose going to be staying here.”

Mari squealed at the sight of Yuri, “You’re adorable! What’s your name? Are you also from Russia?”

“Uh... Yuri.” _This is so awkward_ , “...And yes.”

“Whaaat? You’re name is also Yuri? That’s too confusing. Hmm, from now on you’re going to be Yurio! That’ll make it easier!” Mari turned to Yuuri, “Come help me bring Yurio’s stuff up to a room.”

“What?! That’s not my name,” scowled Yurio, slamming his fist on the table.

“Well! Congrats on being accepted by the Katsukis, Yurio!” Victor laughed, as Yurio threw a fit. “Eat up,” advised Victor, still chuckling, enjoying Yurio’s embarrassment.

Yuuri got up, his eyes smarting. Instead of following Mari up the stairs, he picked up his skating bag and took off.

\---------------------

“What? He left? Where to?” Victor leaned back, frowning, Yurio was resting after inhaling three pork cutlet bowls and two trays of vegetables.

“He’s probably off with Minako, try her place.” advised Hiroko.

Victor got up, “Yurio, go to bed. I’m going to go look for Yuuri.”

“Fine,” said Yurio, “But don’t forget about the programs for tomorrow.”

“How could I,” said Victor, an edge in his voice.

\-----------------------------

“He’s not here, Hiroko probably meant my studio, but he hasn’t dropped by for the key, so he’s not there. He’ll definitely be at Ice Castle,” Minako was working at the cafe-bar that she helped manage. She leaned on the counter, measuring Victor.  “Why are you so interested in him anyway? It’s been eating away at me.”

Victor answered her with eyes half-lidded, “You could say that I’m looking for something new.”

“I warn you, pretty boy,” she leaned in closer, “Yuuri’s not some toy, he may look fragile, but he’s got iron in him.”

“Well it’s the iron I’m after,” said Victor, tipping his head to one side, “And believe me, I know what Yuuri’s capable of. Thanks for your help. See you tomorrow.”

\----------------------------

Victor stood in the commentator’s box with Yuko and Takeshi, listening to them and watching Yuuri skate.

“He’s not a genius like you, but he practices more diligently than anyone I know,” said Yuko.

“It’s not like he had a lot of friends to distract him, he was never good at making or keeping friends,” muttered Takeshi.

Victor vaguely heard the rest of what they were saying. _So, what you lack is confidence and inspiration. Well, ‘...and the mirror will reflect both the fated and the fate. / The pull is magnetic, the ocean inexorable...’_ Victor remembered an old snippet, a poem or a song. _Maybe this will be easier than I thought,_ he thanked Yuko and Takeshi before leaving.

\-----------------------------

“Right! So those are the two pieces, What did you think?” Victor knew that they both wanted to win, and yet they were both going to fall into their rut in 3...2...1...

“I want the eros piece.” said Yurio.

“I’ll take the agape.” Yuuri looked relieved.

 _No, really? What a surprise, I am absolutely floored by these unexpected choices._ “Aaactually,” Victor shrugged, “What you’ve just said is incredibly boring to imagine. And I _don’t_ do boring. Yuuri, you’ll be doing eros, and Yurio will be doing agape.”

Victor grinned at their outburst. “Shush! Both of you want me to be your coach, and yet neither of you have awareness enough to develop your own effective presence on the ice. It’s sad that you think that by choosing a piece you’re comfortable with, will allow you to shine. Both of you are pretty mediocre to begin with, your excess or lack of confidence doesn’t really have anything to do with your ability. Therefore,” Victor paused and grinned widely at the two Yuris who were both shaking and turning increasingly interesting shades of red, “if neither of you can skate your assigned piece to my standards by the end of the week, then I won’t coach either of you and it will all have been for nothing.”

The Yuris gulped audibly.

“So,” continued Victor, gratified to have their attention, “Practice hard and _more_ importantly: Put yourself out there. I have no use for a trembling, fat pig or a lazy, ornery kitten.”

Yurio was boiling steam and Yuuri was melting right into his boots. _Perfect_.

“Now, I’m going to show you both your routines. Off the ice!” Victor shooed them away.

Victor started with agape, providing a running commentary for what the routine was suppose to be and mean. He called out the jumps and how the transitions were suppose to flow. Yuuri looked over to Yurio who was leaning on the rink wall, intently watching Victor, and chewing on a nail.

“Well?” Victor asked, “Is it everything you’ve wanted?”

“Ah, sure,” said Yurio, “I got it.”

“Wow! Fantastic!” Yuko leaned on the rink wall next to Yuuri.

“Who’s that?” Yurio looked sharply at Yuko.

“This is Mrs. Yuko Nishigori, she’s a co-manager of Ice Castle.”

“Welcome to Hasetsu, Yurio! I hope you like it here.” Yuko smiled warmly at him.

“Gah! How’d you know that name?” Yurio rubbed his forehead.

“Oh, Mari told me to call you that. I think it’s cute. Not everyone gets a nickname you know!”

“No?”

“Nuh-uh. It sets you apart. Ah, sorry to interrupt Victor. I couldn’t help but be drawn in.”

“Naturally,” said Victor, smiling brightly a Yuko. “I’m glad you’re here. This is what Yuuri is going to be skating. Ready Yuuri?”

Yuuri nodded.

Victor took his place in the center of the rink, he ran his hands down his body, tracing every curve, and then locked eyes with Yuko, tilting his chin in invitation.

Yuko shrieked and pretended to faint, alarmed, Yurio crouched and fanned her face. Yuuri ignored them and focused on Victor. The step sequence was hellish and full of emotion, the jumps were within his skill range so that was okay, the landings were going to be tricky though. But more captivating than the technical difficulty of the routine was Victor’s face, _what the fuck is he thinking? I can’t be this sexy, I’d look like a fool. It’s all right for him, he basically oozes sex when he wants to, but I’ve never been flirty or- whatever the hell that is! Eros. Sexual pleasure, this is the worst situation._ Yuuri held himself, _a woman would have jumped Victor’s bones by now. Hell, I would jump his bones right now!_

“Yuuri!” Victor’s sharp voice broke his spiraling thoughts, Victor had skated right up to him, “I asked, ‘what did you think?’”

“Oh, it was very.” Yuuri punched his urge to blush right in the mouth, “Eros.” he finished lamely.

Yurio sniggered behind him.

“Right?” agreed Victor, undaunted, “It’s a very sensual routine. Now, what quads can you jump?”

“Uh, the toe loop’s the only one I’ve nailed in competitions. I always get nervous with the other ones and flub them-“

Victor waved the flubs away with an unconcerned hand, “Well I won’t teach you anything new. Today, go practice the basics while I help Yurio.”

Now Yuuri blushed, but it was in fury and humiliation, “Right...”

Victor paused, “Can you tell me why I see you fail in competitions, but expertly show your skill in practice, according to Yuko?”

“Uhh... I always fail under the pressure because, I guess I’m not really confident....” Yuuri trailed off, acutely aware of Yurio and Yuko listening, “in myself.”

“Correct. So my main goal with you is to make you more confident.” Victor skated closer and gently gripped Yuuri’s wrist. With his other hand, he brushed Yuuri’s cheek and slid his thumb across Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri froze as Victor’s forehead brushed close, they could have kissed. “I know you don’t think you can skate this, but I believe that there’s hidden eros in you. Maybe you don’t want to tap into it, but I assure you; only that inner eros will make you successful. I want to see and experience your eros side, Yuuri. Don’t you want to share that with me?”

“Hey! Stop goofing off! I’m suppose to go first!”

“Alright, alright,” Victor slowly slid his thumb down, his hand coming to rest on Yuuri’s neck and leaned back, giving him some space, “Think very carefully of what eros is to _you,_ Yuuri. It should be something that makes you lose control and reason.” Victor winked and turned away, but his hand lingered, sliding down Yuuri’s neck to his shoulder, and his fingers. _That ought to give him some inspiration,_ Victor still felt smug as Yurio took to the ice.

\------------------------------

Even afterwards, talking with Takeshi as he stretched, Yuuri couldn’t shake the feeling that Victor was overestimating how much hidden confidence and eros he had.

“It’s really different from anything you’ve ever done,” agreed Takeshi, looking Yuuri up and down, as if trying to find whatever eros qualities Victor was privy to. “I don’t think it suits you.”

“But I can’t- won’t back out now!” said Yuuri, “Even if everyone wishes it was Victor on the ice.”

Takeshi sighed, “You _did_ look pretty sexy with the copycat routine. Maybe...”

“This is different, I can’t copy Victor anymore. Copying won’t take me beyond Victor. I have to find my own eros that will inspire others!”

“Wait, you want to surpass Victor?” asked Takeshi, astonished, “You think you can out-sexy _Victor Nikiforov?_ ” Takeshi started laughing and teasing him.

Yuuri squeaked, “No! I just meant- Uh!” _Is that what I want? Am I really this ambitious?_ Yuuri took a deep breath, _Oh God, I’m really going to commit, aren’t I?_ He briefly remembered the way Victor ran his hand across his lips. Yuuri squeaked again, _I can’t be like that, but I have to!_

\--------------------------

“You’re not getting the essence of what agape is,” insisted Victor.

“I’m doing _exactly_ what you’ve told me to do!” ground out Yurio.

Victor sighed, pretending to ooze patience, “You’re movements are agape, but your execution is all greed. It doesn’t tell me the story of sacrifice, but of revenge. What is unconditional love, to _you_ , Yurio?”

“What a stupid question,” screeched Yurio, “If you’re so smart _you_ tell me what agape is!”

Victor tutted, “We _both_ know what agape is. What I’m asking is, where is your unconditional love?”

Yurio started making noises like a wrench wrecking machinery, “Show me yours first, then.”

Victor looked down at Yurio, smug, “For me it’s a feeling, and therefore unexplainable! Do it again, less greed! More sacrifice!” Victor skated to the side of the rink.

“Victor, I’m heading back. Is there something you need before I go?”

Victor turned to looked at Yuuri who leaned on the doorway between locker room and rink.

When Victor didn’t answer, Yuuri came forward, “Victor?”

“Ah. As a matter of fact, do you know of any temples nearby?” Victor leaned back.

Yuuri blinked at him, “Uh, yes. Why?”

Victor waved at Yurio to stop. “Can you give me directions? I need to take Yurio there.”

“I can take him, it’s not a problem.”

“Absolutely not,” said Victor fiercely, “You stay out of temples, go to a-“ whatever Victor said was muffled as Yurio skated near and slammed himself into the half wall.

“Stop goofing off!”

“Yurio, we’re going to a temple,” said Victor in a fatherly voice. “Yuuri, Go... uh...” He glanced at Yurio briefly, and changed his sentence “take a bath?”

Yuuri squinted at Victor, _why are you being twice as weird?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :))


	4. Opposing Forces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TFW coaching is hard, smh

Victor shamelessly enjoyed his food while Yurio and Yuuri both moped. _Time’s running out and neither one of you are taking advantage of the time that’s left._ _I wonder what they’re thinking about._

“That’s it!” Yuuri slammed his hands on the table, startling both Victor and Yurio.

 “Pork cutlet bowls is what Eros is to me!” Yuuri crowed, then he caught sight of Victor’s face.

Yurio snorted, “Seriously? _That’s_ what Eros is to you?” He burst out laughing.

“Uhhh,” Yuuri turned scarlet, “S-sorry, maybe-“

“No, no!” Victor held out a hand, his face frozen in a smile, _oh dear_. “It’s... different and... unique. We’ll work with it.” But Yuuri could tell that they both thought it strange. With jerky movements he managed to leave the dining room.

“Did he seriously just say that pork cutlet bowls were his Eros?” Yurio scoffed and picked up his own bowl of food, “Unbelievable.”

Victor pursed his lips, and stood up, “At least Yuuri has inspiration for his routine.”

“I’d rather die than be inspired by something so stupid like that. He wasn’t messing with us, was he?” asked Yurio suspiciously, “Where are you going?” Yurio was instantly on his feet.

“Out. Since I don’t have a skating program to master by the end of the week.”

Yurio dropped down to his knees and let his forehead hit the table.

Victor dragged his hands through his hair as he walked, _Yuuri was mortified by what happened before, he’s so reserved. That’s it! I’m going show him that what happened doesn’t change my opinion of him! Still,_ Victor laughed ruefully and rubbed his eyes, _it is pretty embarrassing for Yuuri to have said food is his Eros._

\-------------------

“Good morning!” called out Victor as he entered the rink. The Yuris flew apart like two magnets, “Hm, interesting.” Victor pretended not to have seen, and started lacing up his boots.

_Guh, if I don’t throw up on the rink I’ll let myself skip today’s ballet class and take a nap._

Yuuri skated by him doing the step sequence for the third time. “Again, give me more passion! More gusto!” commanded Victor, “Broaden the sweep of your arms and project your feelings! Sloppy, Yuuri! Again!” And so the morning went.

“Take a break, Yuuri. Yurio? You’ve got five minutes before I come back, I want to see innocence,” Victor skated off the rink, immediately the two Yuri’s converged, their heads bent.

“What is wrong with him?” asked Yuuri. They both stared at Victor’s retreating back.

“I think he’s hung over,” Yurio whispered _hung over_ , as if it was forbidden for Victor to feel like shit after having guzzled three bottles of sake within a span of four hours.

“I think you’re right.” They both stood there, with mixed feelings about Victor’s queasy face.

“The salchow!” said Yurio, snapping his fingers, “You said you wanted to learn it. We’ve got five minutes!”

“Oh yes! Please!”

When Victor returned, Yuuri was watching intently as Yurio rounded a turn with enough speed to do a jump. Upon seeing Victor, Yurio braked and managed to make it look like he was practicing his agape. Yuuri quickly turned away and started working on his step sequence.

“What _are_ you hiding from me, kitty,” said Victor sliding near Yurio, holding coffee.

“Is that _food_?” asked Yurio, scandalized and ignoring the question, “You’ve got _food_ on the ice!”

“Stop shouting or I’m going to throw up,” Victor took a deep pull from the cup, “Yuko gave this to me, she said it was alright. Happy?”

“No! You won’t tell me how to fix the movements!”

“Maybe the temple then-“ snapped Victor.

“No!” screeched Yurio, “Just give me what I need!” He found himself unable to stare down Victor and skated away, fuming.

“From the top, Yurio. God help you if I see _any_ aggression from you.”

\--------------

Victor checked his phone, 5pm. “Alright, that’s enough. Take the rest of the day to exercise.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Yurio, following on Victor’s heels.

“Sleep!” said Victor happily, toasting him with his third steaming cup of coffee.

Yurio hopped off the rink and began untying his skates.

“Aren’t you coming?” demanded Yurio, waiting for Yuuri.

“Eh,” Yuuri shrugged, “ I want to practice the salchow and the step sequence again. I’m not that tired, plus there’s plenty of time to exercise later.”

“Hmph! Well if you’re not leaving, then I’m staying too.” Yurio promptly sat down and pulled his skates back on.

“If you want, I can help you with some of the movements,” offered Yuuri, “of the agape.”

Yurio tucked his chin for a moment, “Fine. And I can show you the salchow again while I’m here, I might as well practice that too.”

\------------------

“Here you are,” Yuko emerged from the locker room, “Hey you two, it’s time to exercise!” She did a couple high knees for emphasis, “Yurio you’re with me, Yuuri go with Takeshi!”

Yurio glanced sharply at Yuuri, “I didn’t know they were personal trainers too.”

“They’re not,” said Yuuri, skating to the rink wall and scraping his skates. “They just want to help us.”

“Oh.”

Yuuri looked up quickly. Yurio looked wary, but intrigued by this development.

“They don’t really know me though.”

Yuuri cocked his head, “They’re not like Victor, they don’t have to know your deepest fears when they want to help.”

Yurio smirked, “That head thing you did right now? Spot on Eros.”

“It is?” Yuuri tried cocking his head again.

“Er...sort of? It would look good if you just did it right.” Yurio waved his arms around, “I don’t know what to tell you. You’re so stupid. Just watch like, an adult movie or something.”

“Yurio!” Yuko exclaimed, shocked.

“Wha-at?” Yurio grinned sheepishly at her, “Maybe it will help.”

Yuuri threw his skates into his bag, “I don’t think it will. None of those movies have like seduction in them, it’s just-“

“Yuuri!” Yuko was growling now.

“Sorry! Sorry! Yurio was just trying to help. Let’s get this back on track, Yurio.”

Yurio sighed in exasperation, “I don’t know why this is so hard for you.”

“Me neither, but it’s not like you’re getting the agape either!” said Yuuri cheerfully, “You’re really too aggressive.”

“It’s confidence, you asshole,” said Yurio, baring his teeth.

Yuuri sighed, “I wish I could help you. Don’t you have a pet or something you love?”

“Yes,” said Yurio, “But I’m not going to look stupid and tell Victor that my cat is my agape.” He sneered at Yuuri who chuckled.

“I don’t think it’s just my inspiration that’s holding me back, it’s something else that feels weird about the movements,” said Yuuri.

“Well you better figure it out soon,” muttered Yurio, “I don’t think I’ll ever figure out this stupid agape thing though.”

“Maybe the temple,” suggested Yuuri his finger on his lips, leaning his weight on one leg.

“Hahaha! O-hhmy-god! Don’t ever do that again!” Yurio sputtered and cackled, “That was too perfect!”

Yuuri relaxed the pose and grinned, “You’re going to get it Yuri.”

“Of course I’m going to get it, I just have to get it better than you!” Yurio grinned at Yuko who had her mouth covered and was laughing. Yurio let his hair flop over his eye and cocked his shoulder and hip at Yuuri, “Give me your body Yuuri! Tell me your darkest secrets!”

Yuuri choked for a second, but then did a dramatic spin, “Why can’t you literally ascend to heaven while naked children sing your praises Yurio?? Hm??? Explain that!”

Yurio collapsed against the wall, tears streaming down his face, he was laughing so hard no noises escaped him. Yuuri broke and buried his face into his jacket to stop himself from crying too.

\-----------------------

Yuuri felt pretty pleased with how the step sequence was going when Victor skated over to him and caught his arm, “Are there any waterfalls nearby?” Victor looked much better than yesterday.

“W-waterfalls?” asked Yuuri, almost afraid to ask who for.

“Yurio needs a waterfall,” explained Victor, as if that was obvious.

For a moment Yuuri caught Yurio’s eyes and he had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, he quickly averted his gaze, locking eyes with Victor.

“Yes.”

“Good, take him there. I have errands to run today, just make sure to be home by 6!”

“W-wait,”

“At least I won’t be alone under the waterfall,” grumbled, Yurio, coming to a halt near Victor.

“What a good idea! Yuuri, you’ll benefit from waterfall meditation too, I think.”

“It’s because your egg isn’t _entangled_ enough.” sneered Yuuri, but he sniggered near the end, ruining the jab. Victor lifted an eyebrow.

Yuuri’s face froze, his lips trembling.

Victor gazed between Yurio and Yuuri, mystified, _Is Yuuri trying not to laugh? What in the world?_ They both averted their gazes; Yuuri clutched himself and Yurio started coughing violently.

“Ah yes,” said Victor, as if he understood, “Well-“

“Get back by six, we heard you the first time,” said Yurio through gritted teeth. Victor shrugged and left.

Yuuri sank to the ice, still clutching himself, “I- I can’t believe you did that,” he gasped.

Yurio looked at his hands, “Me neither. It felt weird.”

“Then we both agree never to do that again,” Yuuri looked up to Yurio, his eyes watering.

“At least not in front of him.”

“Or others.”

“Except Yuko.”

“Except Yuko,” agreed Yuuri, “But even then... Anyway, let’s get to your waterfall.” Yuuri snorted.

“I know right! _A waterfall?!”_ Yurio threw his hands up.

\------------------------

The entire bus ride home people stared at them, twice Yuuri had to explain to elderly women why they were soaked before Yurio could yell something dreadful.

“You got it though, right?” asked Yuuri after answering a curious woman’s questions.

“Ah,” said Yurio, refusing to look at him, instead becoming very interested in the wild countryside as they made their way back into the city.

Once they got to Yu-Topia, Yuuri dragged Yurio to the hot springs which his parents had restricted to everyone except to him, Yurio, and Victor.

“It sounds weird, I don’t want to bathe with others!”

“It’s not really a bath, it’s a soak. We need it, especially because that waterfall was freezing.”

Yuuri only convinced Yurio to get into the hot spring by getting in first and covering his eyes while Yurio jumped in.

“I forgot to tell you not to jump in, it’s not that deep.”

“I could’ve shattered my legs,” snarled Yurio.

“I doubt you’d let that stop you.”

“Piss up a rope!”

“Creative,” muttered Yuuri.

“He-ey! How was the waterfall? Here’s my phone, Yuuri! Take a picture of me with that statue,” Victor bounded in, his face ruddy.

“Ah, sorry, we don’t allow any pictures at all in the spa area.”

“What?! Why not?”

“It’s obvious why not,” yelled Yurio, “Everyone’s naked!”

Victor sighed and slid into the hot spring.

Yurio rested his chin on the edge of the pool, eyes half lidded.

“How was the waterfall?” Victor sprawled himself at the other end of the pool.

“I think I’ve got it,” Yurio answered quietly, “My agape.”

“That’s great! What about you, Yuuri?”

“No... My movements still feel disjointed,” Yuuri stared up at the mountain that backed Yu-Topia.

“That’s probably because you’re pretending to be a suave play boy. That’s not you at all. You’re too” Yurio made a disgusted face, “Soft and stupid.”

Yuuri flinched, but something about that rang true. _I’m not a suave playboy, I don’t run around looking for conquests._ He looked over to Victor who was giving him a curious smile. _If anything, they’ve always found me_ , Yuuri thought of Phichit and smiled. Yuuri felt a warm blush rise to his cheeks at the memories, but felt nothing that could be considered sexual tension. The problem was the role Victor was asking him to play, the cocky approach wasn’t him.

“Enough moping! I’m sure both of you will do well enough tomorrow. It’s time to choose a costume, I had all of my old ones shipped here.”

“What?! Why didn’t you say anything?” Yurio leapt out of the pool and ran for it.

Yuuri groaned.

 “Don’t give up,” said Victor, coming up to rest beside Yuuri, “You’ve basically got it, right?”

“It’s the wrong role,” said Yuuri miserably.

“I assure you it’s not. You can do it.”

Yuuri nodded. _I know I can do it, but those movements aren’t me. They’re all you._ “What Yurio said is still true,” said Yuuri, climbing out of the pool.

\----------------

Yuuri forgot that he still felt awkward with eros when he got to hold and admire all of Victor’s costumes.

Victor watched them dig through the chests and luggage from the doorway of his room.

“You have hundreds,” said Yurio in disgust.

“This is amazing!” Yuuri dug through the different chests, “There are so many good ones.”

“Don’t pick the best one,” warned Yurio, “We need to have costumes on the same level. This one’s really stupid.” Yurio threw aside a light green one.

Yuuri gasped, “You wore this one at the junior world championships!” He held up a dark costume with a half skirt and glittering rocks hugging the chest and hips. See-through lace curled around the body of the suit, suggesting curves and secrets, it was scandalous. “I’ll wear this one,” said Yuuri.

Victor looked up, “An intriguing choice, Yuuri. I wore that one when my hair was long. The costume is suppose to suggest both male and female qualities. Yakov hated it!” Victor laughed at some memory.

“What did you just say,” asked Yuuri sharply.

Oh...” Victor looked startled at Yuuri’s tone, “Uh... Yakov hated it?”

“No, no! The other part, that this is suppose to show-“

“Oh! Both male and female qualities?” Victor’s eyes cleared in understanding

“Yes, tell me more about that,” Yuuri’s eyes bored into Victor.

“Yes,” said Victor slowly, “ With this costume I wanted to show that one doesn’t have to restrict themselves to just one form of beauty. That both-“

Yuuri stood, clutching the costume to his chest, his mouth twisted, “I have to go... practice.” He managed to say before he ran off.

\---------------------

Yuuri used both his fists to pound at Minako’s door. Finally, looked frazzled and wearing reading glasses she opened the door, “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“You have to show me how to be sexy! Show me how to move like a woman,” Yuuri showed her the costume.

Minako grinned, all teeth and ambition, “Come in."

At the ballet studio, Minako made Yuuri put on the costume.

“It looks good, but I don’t understand why you think I can teach you sexy if Victor hasn’t been able to.”

“It was the wrong kind of sexy, too forward. I need... They have to come to _me_ ,” said Yuuri, still working through his own understanding of his Eros.

Minako’s look of disbelief slowly melted, until she was nodding, “I see. I see. Well, let’s do this.”

It was well past dawn when Yuuri was satisfied with his movements. Minako had gone home at around 1, but Yuuri had been too wired and excited by his success to even think of sleeping.

He carefully packed the costume and headed for home.

\------------------------

“Do you have any idea what time it is.” Victor sat on his bed in only undershorts, Makkachin was snuggled deep into Yuuri’s sheets. _You look like crap, but you look pleased with yourself at least._

“None,” said Yuuri, not bothering to ask Victor why he was in his room, he carefully put the bag with the costume on his desk and managed to land on his bed without squishing Makkachin or touching Victor, it was a tight fit between them.

“Where have you been?” demanded Victor, sorely tempted to carry Makkachin out with him instead of listening.

“Practicing,” said Yuuri, looking up at Victor, “with Minako. I’ve figured it out.”

“You have?” Victor fought back a grin, “What is it then?”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the thrill of having understood his limitations and strengths, or maybe it was pique at having Victor in his room. Yuuri slowly looked Victor down, taking in the sharp angles and sleek muscle that would, mused Yuuri, _probably make Victor a satisfying lover_. _God, I must be exhausted_. “You’ll just have to wait until tonight. Now get out.”

Victor didn’t look away or flinch. Yuuri watched Victor swallow hard, the skin of his neck following the movement of the muscles underneath.

“I can’t wait,” murmured Victor before retreating from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That scene where Yurio and Yuuri are roasting Victor was completely, 100% inspired by this comic 
> 
> http://doodlesonice.tumblr.com/post/155378997056
> 
> I love this comic, it makes me cry.


	5. Come What May

Yuuri awoke with a start, scrambling for his phone. 2pm. With a sigh he fell back into bed, staring off at the ceiling. _I need to practice the movements again._ He rolled out of bed, changed and snuck downstairs, checking around the corners to make sure he wouldn’t run into Victor or Yurio. He wouldn’t have either of them throwing him off, not today of all days.

“Ahh, Yuuri! How’s it going?” his father was busy kneading a small mountain of dough.

“Good, thanks dad. I’m sneaking out, cover for me.”

“Sure thing! But it seems silly. Get back here! Don’t you dare leave without breakfast,” scolded his father.

Yuuri relented and ate a rolled omelet that was sitting on the counter.

“Hey! That’s for a customer!” his father came forward, brandishing a wooden rolling pin.

“Bye dad!” Yuuri dashed out through the back door, “I’ll be at Minako’s until the skate off!”

\-------------------------

Takeshi was out front and greeted Yuuri with a quiet, “Good luck.”

 _I think I’m going to throw up_ , Yuuri couldn’t meet Victor’s gaze as he entered the locker room

Victor blocked his view of Yurio, who was in the corner, trotting in place. “Where did you run off to now?”

“Practicing,” said Yuuri tightly, “I didn’t want to be distracted.”

Victor huffed, “You’ve got to stop running off. At least let me know, understood?”

“Okay,” Yuuri made to move past Victor, but Victor grabbed his arm and squeezed, “I said alright!” Yuuri tugged his arm away.

His stomach settled slightly when he caught sight of Yurio’s face, he looked nervous. _That makes two of us._

Too soon and not soon enough, Yuko appeared. “Yurio? It’s time.” She squealed at Yurio’s costume and Yurio seemed caught between embarrassment and pride. The gauzy material made him seem frail and young.

\-----------------

“Good luck, Yurio,” said Victor quietly.

“I don’t need it,” growled Yurio, “Just judge me fairly.”

“I would never dream of underestimating you,” promised Victor as they reached the step-off.

Yurio glanced up at him in surprise then stepped onto the rink.

As soon as the music started Victor knew that Yurio had the feeling down, the jumps were also acceptable. _He’s got this_ , Victor hid his expression between clasped hands. _Oh no, hold onto it, damn it, Yuri, hold on to the feeling!_ But Yuri began to aggressively skate through the routine, his face contorted with concentration. His last jump was technically good, but it felt jagged and unconnected to the feelings of the music. Victor sighed and had to consciously relax his muscles.

“Take a bow Yuri! Your best yet!” Victor waved at Yurio excitedly. “Take a bow!”

Yurio recovered his breath and then waved to the crowd, who grew even louder as they cheered for him.

\----------------

Yuuri clapped for Yurio until he realized that he was next. He covered his face _,_ pressing into the soft flesh. _I can’t lose, this is my last chance to prove I can be a great skater, I have to win. I want to keep Victor here with me. I can’t lose. I have to win. I want to win. I want to win. I-_

“Yuuri.”

Yuuri squeaked, he covered his mouth, realizing how loud he’d been. Victor stepped in close to Yuuri, shielding him from view, “It’s your turn.”

Yuuri was visibly shaking, “Watch closely Victor, I’m going to be the most delicious pork cutlet bowl ever!” Looking steadier, he reached out and hugged Victor, “Promise me.”

Victor gently patted his back, “Without a doubt, Yuuri. I love pork cutlet bowls.”

Yuuri took to the ice in his starting position. Victor was curious to see Yuuri’s routine, the starting stance was similar to what he’d shown Yuuri, but softer, a different form of seduction. The music started and Yuuri transitioned, becoming the dancing seducer who only had to wait for the lovers to come worshipping. Yuuri didn’t dance of the lover that went from town to town. He danced the lover who reveled in the center of pleasure, the one who danced without bothering to look around, who didn’t greedily grasp for the next lover, but who let his lovers fall as they would. Uncalculated passion and allure made more delicious because of the sincere and straight forward love he offered. Victor whistled under his breath. And when the dance of lovers is over, he didn’t just toss you aside, Yuuri turned a cool cheek to the whole flaming situation. Victor ran to the step off and held his hands out, “Yuuri!”

Yuuri rushed to him and to his surprise, Victor gave him a hug, a momentary form of contact.

“That was amazing! Congratulations! However...”

 _Oh jeez_ , thought Yuuri as Victor starting rattling off what he did wrong, _I guess this means I won? Or else he wouldn’t be saying so much stuff like this? Did I win? Did I do it?_ Yuuri let himself blank out, if only for a minute.

\------------------

Yuko caught up to Yurio as he was about to catch a bus.

“Don’t worry, I won’t quit,” said Yurio, “I just don’t feel like having this loss rubbed in my face.”

Yuko looked relieved, she hugged Yurio, “Here, let me give you my number. Just in case you need anything!”

“Oh,” Yurio was the same height as Yuko, but he always felt that he was looking up when they spoke, “Thank you.”

“You should at least leave tomorrow,” urged Yuko.

“No.” said Yurio firmly, “I have to get back to Yakov and start practicing right away.”

“Oh,” Yuko smiled, “Well that’s a really good reason. Good luck Yurio, and have a safe trip!”

\------------------------------

“Good job today. Here, you deserve this,” Victor came back into the small private dining room with a steaming tray.

“I’m not hungry,” protested Yuuri for what felt like the fifth time, he lay sprawled on the private dining room floor, staring at the ceiling. “You go ahead and eat.”

“Not even for a pork cutlet bowl?” Victor asked, his voice teasing.

Yuuri gave a short laugh, “My weakness.... Fine.” He sat up and took the bowl from Victor.

“Now,” said Victor, with his mouth full, “You _have_ to tell me. What changed the feeling? Because what you skated tonight wasn’t a bit like anything showed done before.”

Yuuri didn’t answer right away, he was savoring his food. “Lots of little reasons. I always felt awkward trying to portray eros the way you showed me. Yurio said that I wasn’t a playboy, and that’s why it felt awkward. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. And the final piece? You said that there’s lots of different types of beauty, which means-“

Victor caught on, “There’s different types of eros! Brilliant.”

“So I went to Minako and asked her to show me how to be more feminine, a softer style-“

“Not as imposing, or gaudy, but just as inviting,” Victor was clearly impressed, he grinned at Yuuri, “You know what this means right?”

“Uh... I have no idea.”

“Eventually you’ll have to move beyond food for your inspiration, not now, but eventually. Just keep it in the back of your mind.” Victor took a giant bite of food.

“Wha-at?” Yuuri groaned, “But what am I suppose to use instead?”

Victor sighed, “That’s up to you. Pork cutlet bowls just aren’t going to cut it for the Grand Prix.”

“I guess not,” said Yuuri glumly, he stared at Victor, hoping he would give him a hint. Victor just looked at him thoughtfully. “I’ll think of something,” promised Yuuri. _I can’t tell him I have nothing! He would up and leave on the spot._

“Well, I’m going to get to bed,” Victor yawned, “Don’t stay up too late, okay?” He ruffled Yuuri’s hair as he left.

Yuuri stared at Victor’s back as he left. _Thank you for coming Victor, thank you for seeing whatever it is, in me._ But the words stuck in his chest, and some unknown panic reared its ugly head. Yuuri quickly stood and went to soak in the hot springs.

\-----------------------------

“I swear Makkachin, if you fart one more time, I’m kicking you out,” muttered Yuuri, rubbing Makkachin’s back. Makkachin wagged his tail sleepily.

He pulled the covers off his head and checked his phone. 8:50pm

“Shit!” Yuuri leapt off the bed and threw his track suit on.

 _If he can manage the salchow in such a short time then mastering the other ones will be attainable, maybe after the Grand Prix, but certainly not this year._ Victor mocked up some moves to adjust the Eros routine, _this will look nice if he can manage such a sharp turn._ He heard someone slam into the rink doors, and took his time turning around.

“Good morning,” said Victor obviously sarcastic, while Yuuri begged forgiveness. He added, “I would have brought a puzzle, if I knew I was going to wait so long for you.” Yuuri threw himself on the floor, still apologizing.

“Alright, alright,” said Victor, skating back, “Let’s get started! We have so much to do! It’s good to rest, but let’s keep a more uniform schedule, okay?”

Numbly, Yuuri agreed, he felt suddenly terrified at being alone with Victor. Yurio had created a friendly barrier between them that lessened the feeling of absolute dread at having Victor’s focus on him. _He’ll realize that it’s no use and leave_. _If he realizes just what kind of person I am, he’ll realize it’s no good. No...Minako is right, I’ll take what I can get, and when he leaves I can- I’ll-_ His blood ran cold, _Shit.... I don’t want him to leave.  Oh no... what if he thinks he’s obligated to stay here?_

“Yuuri!” Victor snapped his fingers in front of his face, “What’s going on in there?” He rapped his knuckles on Yuuri’s forehead.

“N-nothing! Let’s get started.” _I’m going to focus on skating, and that will do the trick for a while, until I find some way of coping with-_ Yuuri swallowed at the worried tilt of Victor’s eyebrows- _with him._

\----------------------------------

Victor tried again, “I just think that we can _start_ with the triples and then move up to the quads. You flub your jumps when you’re unsettled, and honestly, Yuuri, you’ve been looking more and more like a dying fish today.” The steam from the hot spring felt nice on his skin, _I don’t know how Yuuri can stand to be in the water, it’s so hot as it is._

“I’m not unsettled,” said Yuuri, turning to face Victor, he yelped and turned right the fuck back around, Yuuri covered his side vision with his hands. Victor was shamelessly doing stretches outside of the hot spring. _Why is he like this? Will his shameless nature will rub off on me?_

“You don’t technically _need_ a quad,” said Victor,” Skaters use them as crutches so they can let their program be more mediocre.”

“It won’t matter anyway,” muttered Yuuri, “if I can’t even land them in practice,” for a moment forgetting who he was talking to.

Victor beckoned him closer, and pulled him out of the hot spring, “Yuuri, the reason that I came to be your coach is not because of the jumps you can land, but because you give yourself up to the music. Some people dance while there is music, but you dance _with_ the music. You let it envelop you, and the audience feels the power in that.” Victor slid his hands down Yuuri’s arms. _Come on, Yuuri, are you even listening to me? Have confidence in yourself!_

It was clear Yuuri wasn’t listening to what Victor wanted to shout. He was too caught up with whatever was going on in his head.

“You have to trust that I’m going to use your strengths to make a program that will challenge and inspire you. You just have to put yourself out there and let me,” he cupped Yuuri’s face, brushing his jaw, “be your refuge and confidante. Can you do that?”

Yuuri swallowed, “I-.” Victor gently rubbed his jaw, it was a comforting gesture.

They turned at the sounds of exclamations, several customers were watching the interesting turn of events in the hot springs from the safety of the baths inside.

“Oh no,” said Yuuri, his face a mask of resignation and annoyance rather than alarm, he pulled Victor’s hands off his face and slid back into the hot spring.

“What is it?” Victor settled down to do his stretches as the crowd dispersed.

“They’re about to go tell the entire inn that we were fooling around, like...” he trailed off, unable to finish.

“Like sexually,” supplied Victor, eager to make Yuuri feel uncomfortable.

Yuuri covered his face, “My parents are going to be impossible with you. They’re going to think...”  Yuuri made a pained expression, as if he knew exactly what was going to happen, but couldn’t bring himself to say what.

“Cute,” said Victor seriously, “But don’t worry, I won’t ruin your good reputation. Just focus on skating, and I’ll quash any rumors.” _Interesting, what an interesting reaction._

“You will?” Yuuri looked at him in disbelief. Victor grinned widely at him. “Not that, uh, I doubt you,” amended Yuuri.

“Of course not,” agreed Victor easily. “Now, you mentioned that your coach always picked your songs? You don’t have _any_ experience choosing your own music?” Victor looked at Yuuri dubiously.

“U-um... I did choose a song once, but-“

“And you never mentioned this before?” Victor glared down at Yuuri, “I’ve been asking for _weeks_.”

“I didn’t know it was so important for me to choose my own music,” pleaded Yuuri, “I have a song, but... I’ve never used it. Celestino ended up picking something different for me. Even he didn’t like it.”

“Don’t care,” insisted Victor, “I want to hear it.” Yuuri sighed and nodded.

_\-----------------------_

YUKO: It will be exciting to see what Yuuri and Victor come up with, choreography-wise. I think Yuuri’s still uncomfortable around Victor, I’m running out of ideas with what to tell him. Have you decided on a theme yet? I know it will be fantastic! Oh yes, I know it’s late, but here’s the picture we took in front of Ice Castle. Have a good day!

YURIO: The picture looks nice. And no, not yet.

Yurio squinted at the screen, wondering if Yuko was secretly a spy. He looked at the picture of himself, Yuko, and the triplets. Probably not

“Ooh! Is that your girlfriend, Yuri? So cute.” Mila draped herself over Yuri and looked at the picture over his shoulder.

“No. Now get off me. I don’t feel like being beat up by your current boy toy,” said Yuri, peeved.

“Cheeky,” admonished Mila, easily scooping Yuri up and over her head into a lift. “I’ve been practicing, don’t you think it would be cool if I did a lift on the ice?”

Yuri almost dropped his phone in surprise, “Put me down, you ass!” Luckily, Yakov happened to walk over, accompanied by his ex-wife, and Mila quickly planted Yuri back onto the floor.

Frazzled and disheveled, Yuri met Lilia Baranovskaya. Yakov’s ex-wife, once prima ballerina of the Bolshoi ballet, _and_ his new coach.

“You have to give me everything,” said Lilia, her voice clipped as she looked him up and down, “Your time, your dreams, your soul.”

“Take everything,” said Yuri, “Take my life too, if you need it. I’m here to surpass everyone.”

A smile almost made its way onto Lilia’s face, “You’ll be living with me, that way you can also take ballet lessons.”

“Fine.” _I’m going to show Victor just how big his mistake is, he’s never going to recover from taking a year off, I’m going make everyone forget that Victor Nikiforov ever existed._

_\------------_

“Well, this is certainly interesting, but let’s keep our options open, okay?” Victor was doing that glassy smile that meant he was hiding more acerbic thoughts.

“I did warn you,” said Yuuri, still mortified. He quickly snatched back his phone and ear buds.

“Bring me something by tomorrow,” ordered Victor.

Alarmed, Yuuri said, “That’s not enough time.”

 _If fire under your ass is what it takes for you to be creative, then let’s toast some buns._ “Think of it as a challenge,” said Victor, still giving him that hard smile, “Or else I’ll make you use this lukewarm tune in your next competition.”

Yuuri gulped and nodded.

\---------------

Yuuri went through several songs, but nothing convinced him. He moped and paced and listened. He needed something personal, something... _Shit_ , he was going to have to put himself out there.

“Ohmigosh! Sawasdee krab!”

“Sawasdee krab. Thanks for answering, are you practicing in Thailand again?”

“Oh yeah,” Phichit glanced behind him, “I _had_ to leave Detroit, it’s such a drab city when you’re gone.” Phichit gave him a cute pout, “Yuuri.... you’re not up late moping are you?”

“No...” Yuuri scratched his chin, embarrassed, “I’m actually trying to figure out my free skate music, and I need your help.”

“I’m always here to help my friends!” Phichit winked at Yuuri through the screen, “But in return, you should come visit me! It’ll be a riot!”

“Thank you, thank you,” said Yuuri, “I’d love to!”

“What can I do?”

“I need a girl’s number,” said Yuuri in an undertone, hiding his eyes and pretending to be embarrassed.

Phichit mocked a gasp, “Oh my! Scandalous!”

\-----------------

Yuuri told Victor he would have to wait for the music, as it was being made.

“Just choose something that’s good, and trust that your skating will elevate it to where it needs to be,” said Victor crossly, “You need to enhance the music, not the other way around.” Yuuri held his ground, Victor sighed, but was intrigued by Yuuri’s stubbornness.

“Let’s continue, while doing the step sequence for eros, you need to think of the memories from your love life.”

Yuuri snapped at Victor, “ We’ve talked about this.”

Victor stared at him.

 “Uh...” Yuuri crumbled under that gaze, “I didn’t mean- That sounded bad. I just have never....”

“Right, I forgot you’ve never really had a love life before. Not even a one night stand?”

 _What the hell have I gotten myself into,_ wondered Victor, as Yuuri took off for the showers, still rankled by his comments. _In more ways than one, I’ve landed myself into places that were never really made for me, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t fit in here._

“Hey, Yuuri, let’s spend some time together,” Victor tried catching Yuuri’s arm on the way out.

“Uh no, sorry, I have to practice with Minako.”

Victor tried again later in the day, “Hey Yuuri, let’s take a bath together!”

“No, don’t worry about me,” insisted Yuuri, “Go on ahead.”

“It’s cold tonight Yuuri, can I sleep in your room?” Last ditch effort.

“Oh, are you cold?” Yuuri edged past Victor and came running back with several woolly blankets, “Here. I hope this will help.” And then shut the door in his face.

“Makkachin, I’ve never failed at anything that I dedicated myself to, and this isn’t going to be different. Why is he being so impossible? I wonder what’s missing.” Victor scratched Makkachin’s face. “Tomorrow he’s not going to get away from me, even if I have to drag him out kicking and screaming.”

\---------------------

“Rise and shine!” commanded Victor, slamming Yuuri’s door open.

Yuuri grunted and shook his head.

“Nonsense! You’ve avoided me for long enough. It’s getting ridiculous. Now get up, or I’ll-“

“No need to threaten me,” mumbled Yuuri, “Where are we going?”

“The beach!”

 

 

 


	6. Like a Glove

_How do people do this? How do I get you to open up?_ Victor tipped his head, listening to the gulls, “I never noticed the gulls in St. Petersburg, they were just background noise to me. But now I always listen for gulls in every new city I go, and when I hear them, I’m reminded of where I grew up. Isn’t that weird?” Victor looked out to the ocean, his arm slung around Makkachin, Yuuri was huddled in on himself. “You don’t realize something that’s missing from your life until you miss it’s absence, or find out that there _is_ something missing.”

“There was this girl in Detroit who really liked me,” answered Yuuri in a different vein, “She was pushy, but meant well. I didn’t really mind until a rink mate got into an accident and she tried comforting me. I- I felt like she didn’t think I could deal with my own feelings. It was intrusive. That’s when I realized that Minako, Yuko, my parents, everyone here, they were never like that. They always respected who I was, knowing that I was going to continue to grow and mature. They never stepped over that boundary to carry my burdens for me. They never treated me like I was weak.”

“You’re not weak,” said Victor gently, “I certainly don’t think you’re weak, and no one else who matters views you that way either.” He fell silent and then added, “Yuuri, I want to support you through this season. But... I’m not exactly sure how to do that. Who should I be for you? A father figure?” _If there is any mercy in this world...._

“No,” said Yuuri quietly, shaking his head.

“Your brother? A friend?” tried Victor. Victor thought of Yurio, that ball of restless and undirected energy.

Yuuri shook his head, face still buried into his knees.

“Ah, well you leave me with only one option then,” Victor turned and smiled at him, “I’ll do my best as your boyfriend then, promise.”

Yuuri jumped to his feet, yelling, “I don’t want to change you! I just need you to... You’ve always been my inspiration! And to have you here is-“ Yuuri finally smiled, “Is a dream.” He sighed, “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, I thought.... I didn’t want you to see me as someone I’m not. I didn’t want you to see my failures.“

“I see you perfectly, Yuuri. And our failures are part of our past, they don’t necessarily have to comprise who we are as individuals.” Victor sighed and smiled to himself, “You’ve let me come into your home, your rink. You’ve done so much.” Victor held out his hand, “I understand you, and that means I won’t go easy on you. If you want to be the best, then that means you’re going to go all out for me. You’ll see all the love I have.” _for you._

Yuuri grinned and pulled Victor up. The walk home was silent, but cheerful.

 _I’m not going to hole myself up again_. Yuuri glanced up at Victor, _I thought that he was going to judge me for who I wasn’t, but he’s accepted me from the start. I just have to trust him, I’m so stupid for not seeing it before._

\------------------

Victor watched Yuuri complete the jump, stumble, but manage to stay upright. _So much better_. “Still sloppy,” said Victor, “But enough jumps let’s do the eros routine.” Victor joined Yuuri on the center of the ice and they went through the movements, adjusting Yuuri’s poses and timing.

 _That should be enough for today,_ thought Victor after several hours of doing nothing but jumps on Yuuri’s insistence after they finished working on eros, he wiped the sweat from his face and let himself rest on the rink wall. Yuuri skated up to him, panting, “I’ll do it one more time. Can you watch for the transitions now? I feel like those could be better.”

Victor gave him a weak smile, “Are you trying to break some record? We’ve done this like a thousand times.”

“Only thirteen times,” countered Yuuri.

Victor chuckled and bent down to scrape ice from his skates. “I’d noticed before, but your stamina is great. I’ll have to thank Minako for that some time, probably with a bottle of something strong. Do you know how lucky you are to be uninjured so far in your career? And-”

Victor felt Yuuri poke the top of his head, Victor stopped scraping the ice from his skates. “Ah.. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that my hair’s already getting pretty thin, it’s unfortunate, right?”

Yuuri made a strangled sound, “No, I didn’t- You’re hair looks great! It looks the same as always.”

Before he could burst out laughing, Victor curled up into a ball,  letting his weight shift from his legs to his arms. He sprawled on the ice. “I’m devastated Yuuri, I’m going bald and I’m never going to be handsome again. What will people say?” He let his voice wobble.

“They’re not going to say anything, because your hair looks fine! You’re still handsome, and I don’t think that’ll ever change!” Yuuri was pleading and shrill.

Victor sighed and looked up, cracking one eye open. “You think so?”

“Of course!” insisted Yuuri, encouraged by his success. He crouched over Victor, nervously tugging on Victor’s clothes, trying to make him get up.

“Would you still look up to me, even if I was ugly?” Victor reached up and readjusted Yuuri’s glasses before they slipped off.

Victor thought he had pushed his luck because Yuuri fell silent and grew serious. “Your personality is what makes you handsome. Not-!” added Yuuri, alarmed by Victor’s silence, “That you’re ugly, it’s the opposite of that! And- ”

 _Welp,_ Victor grinned, “So you think I’m the full package? Totally dating material?”

Yuuri must have realized that Victor was teasing him because he blushed and leaned back, “Sure...”

Victor slowly sat up, giving Yuuri time to scuttle away. “Then I don’t understand why you insist on stealing Makkachin from me every night! Let me sleep with my dog once in a while!”

Yuuri burst out laughing, “I didn’t know you were jealous of Makkachin and me.”

\--------------------

“Victor!”

Makkachin squalled as Yuuri jumped onto his bed, managing to step on Makkachin’s tail.

Victor grunted and rose onto his elbows, “What time is it?”

Yuuri sat on Victor’s legs, “The music for the free program is done!”

He squinted at Yuuri, “Okay, okay.” And let Yuuri put the buds in his ears, he dropped his head as the music started. Yuuri petted Makkachin in apology while Victor listened.

“I like it,” said Victor, his voice rough from sleep. _A tender beginning, a growing realization, the epiphany, the trumpets and fanfare, and a sweet farewell._  He considered Yuuri while he listened and couldn’t help himself, he ran a finger down the bridge of Yuuri’s nose. But Yuuri was too excited by the music to be fazed by Victor at that moment.

“It will work great. Now go to sleep, really, aren’t you ashamed of your weird hours?”

Yuuri chuckled, “Not really,” and still grinning, ran out.

Victor let himself fall back into bed. “You okay, Makkachin? Yeah, me neither.”

\--------------

“I think we should save the triple toe loop as the last jump and move the combination before the mid-point.”

“That’s really close to the end though,” said Yuuri frowning at the notes Victor was taking.

“It will give the ending more power. Would you rather not?” Victor leaned forward, challenging Yuuri.

“Of course not! I’ll do the triple last.”

“Thought you might agree with me,” said Victor, satisfied, “have you also come to a decision about your theme this year?”

Yuuri fidgeted with the pen.

“Yuuri?”

“I’ve decided that I’m going to go with: On my love.”

Victor waited, but no explanations or excuses came, Yuuri just looked at him, if not confidently, then with a stubborn set of his chin. Victor nodded, “It’s perfect.”

Yuuri sighed and smiled.

Victor peeled his jacket off. _We’re getting there slowly, but I’m going to get you ready for the Grand Prix, you have no idea how much you’ve already given me. It’s the least I could do for you, Yuuri._

\------------------

Victor’s phone rang as they were running back to Yu-Topia after practice, “Yes?” Victor stopped running and quickly handed the phone to Yuuri.

“It’s Minako, she sounded excited.”

 Yuuri put the phone up to his ear.

“Yes?“

“The GPF assignments are up! Also, I’ve called you like a million times!”

Yuuri quickly put the phone on speaker, “You’re on speaker, let’s keep it PG.”

“Hilarious. You’re going to be in the Cup of China and Rostelecom Cup. Also your parents are throwing a party, it was suppose to be a surprise, but, you know.“

“Thanks, Minako. I’ll pretend to be surprised.” He hung up and handed the phone back to Victor.

They continued on their way home at a walking pace.

“You don’t like surprise parties?” asked Victor, _of course he wouldn’t like them._

“Not really,” said Yuuri, “It’s just better if I’m mentally prepared, I can enjoy the party more.”

“Oh,” _I can work with that._ “Thanks for telling me,” said Victor, innocence oozing from him.

Yuuri eyed him, “Don’t you dare throw me a party.”

Victor gasped, scandalized, “I would _never_ dream!” He grinned at Yuuri’s side long glare, “Seriously, parties are far from my mind right now, Yuuri. Relax.”

\--------

Yuuri did a good job of pretending to be surprised, even as he refused the cups of liquor Minako tried to give him. Minako and Victor grinned at each other.

“Minako told him, didn’t she,” asked Mari quietly, a half grin on her face as Yuuri stiffly thanked everyone for the party. Yuuri was covered in confetti and streamers, he sat alone at the table. There were mountains of food and even a small blue cake decorated with snowflakes

“Of course,” said Victor, “she’ll defy anyone to help Yuuri.”

Mari agreed, “That sounds about right. Go on Victor, I think we’ve made Yuuri suffer enough, go sit next to him.” Mari sat down at the short end of the table and started passing out slices of cake.

“Are you okay, Victor?” Yuuri passed him a plate of food.

“Yes, Mari was keeping me company.” Victor accepted a small cup of wine from Mrs. Kastuki.

“You don’t really drink, do you Yuuri?”

“Ah no, I try not to. Why? You can drink if you’d like,” said Yuuri, looking slightly wary.

“Oh, I’m just curious because you refused Minako’s offer.”

Yuuri shrugged, and Victor tactfully changed the subject, realizing that Yuuri wasn’t the least bit interested in talking about _that_.

Yuko sat on Yuuri’s other side, the triplets crawled over everyone, their faces smeared with blue icing and sprinkles. Lutz came up, pushing Victor aside, and drew an icing snowflake on Yuuri’s face. Victor shifted next to Yuuri who accepted the face painting with grace. “I’ll never wash it off,” promised Yuuri.

“Disgusting,” said Lutz and proceeded to reach for Victor’s face next, one chubby finger coated in cake icing.

“Uuuuuuuuhhhhh...” Victor leaned back as far as he could, dodging Lutz attempts at art without falling over, Lutz looked undeterred, “Help me out.” he whispered to Yuuri.

“Only if you promise to never throw me a surprise party,” whispered Yuuri back, his lips tugging into a smile.

 _Damn you, Katsuki,_ thought Victor, catching sight of Yuuri’s face. He resigned himself to the icing, “Don’t draw anything that would make your mother angry,” he told Lutz.

“I’m drawing a dog!” said Lutz, she finished with a flourish.

“How do I look?” Victor turned his head, posing for Yuuri.

Takeshi sat in front of them, “You look foolish. Sorry about Lutz, you should see the walls of our house.”

Yuko handed Yuuri a wet washcloth, Yuuri rubbed the icing off, but his face was still tinged blue. “I can imagine.” He absently wiped the icing off of Victor’s face as well.

“You know, I wonder what people will say when you show up to competitions with Victor as your coach. Maybe everyone will hate you for taking Victor away from the sport.” Takeshi chuckled, “Wow, isn’t that quite a burden?”

Yuuri stiffened and his face froze into a panicked smile.

“Takeshi, too much,” scolded Yuko. Takeshi apologized still laughing.

Victor patted Yuuri’s arm in sympathy. _Hopefully, Yuuri doesn’t take Takeshi to heart, though what he says could be true enough, Yuuri should be prepared to deal with hecklers._

“Oh, but you’ll have to go through the domestic competitions first, Yuuri!”

Victor started paying attention again just as Takeshi punched Yuuri’s arm, “But the domestic competitions will be a breeze!”

Yuuri turned red and said to Victor, “I have to compete in-“

“I heard,” said Victor, “Actually, I’m glad we’ll be starting in Kyushu. What Takeshi said could be true, you have to be ready for the possibility.”

“Right,” said Yuuri, looking terrified.

“It will be great to go to see you compete again, Yuuri,” Minako was smiling with tears in her eyes, “I’ll be cheering you on from the stands!”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

\---------------

“You’re not actually worried about people blaming you for my decision to take this year off, are you?” They stood in the hallway between their rooms, Victor crossed his arms.

Yuuri scratched his head, “I hadn’t really thought about it. Only when Yurio yelled at me about it, but,” Yuuri shrugged, indicating that it hadn’t been important at the time.

In that case,” said Victor, “if you can handle Yurio’s yelling without flinching then the rest of the world will be a cinch to deal with.”

“Hah, I guess you’re right.”

“And Yuuri,” Victor stepped close, his gaze looked almost threatening, “No more getting to practice late, I’m warning you.”

Yuuri beat a hasty retreat, promising not to be late tomorrow.

\----------------

Once Yuuri had finally relented to taking a break, Victor draped himself on a bench and asked, “You should name your FS music now, while the movements and feelings are still fresh.”

Yuuri tapped the pen on his nose, frowning. He smiled at Victor, and scribbled on the CD. Victor gave him a thumbs up, “Yuri on Ice. Wonderful! Do you mind cutting your exercise time in half today? I’d like to work on perfecting both the eros and FS costume’s looks.”

“Sure,” said Yuuri, he tucked his skates away, “What time do you want me home by?”

Victor pretended to think, “Ah, be home by 3. It probably won’t take that long, and we can do a light run afterwards.”

“Sounds good.”

\------------

They caught a bus downtown and managed to find the store, only getting lost once.

“Good afternoon! I have an appointment, or rather he does,” Victor nodded to Yuuri. The tailor, an older woman with three pin-poofs sewed to her vest came out, “Ah yes. Come in Mr. Katsuki.”

Victor squinted one eye and then the other, “Hm.”

“It looks _fine_ , Victor.” _This is taking so long_ , _although it’s not as embarrassing as it use to be. And Victor makes it fun_. Yuuri sighed, _Still, we’ve been here forever, I’m hungry._

“Make the legs tighter,” said Victor at last.

“Seriously?” Yuuri kept perfectly still as the tailor deftly put in a row of pins down his leg. “If my costume rips-“

“It won’t rip,” said Victor, “I just want it to _look_ like it’s about to rip.”

Yuuri laughed in disbelief.

“Sexy enough?” Yuuri held his hands out and did a slow spin.

Victor gave him a crooked smile, “Quite. You’ve got to take advantage of your assets Yuuri. If your arms were more buff then I’d have lace put into both sleeves.”

“I’ll work to meet your standards,” said Yuuri sarcastically, stepping down from the stand.

 

“Ah, it got late,” Victor checked his watch as they left the tailor’s shop, “Well, the FS costume we chose is going to look really good at least, and we won’t have to overhaul that.”

“I’m glad we got that out of the way, I usually hate ordering costumes.”

Victor laughed, “Well I’m glad you enjoyed it this time.”

Back at Yu-Topia, after lazing in the hot springs for an hour they set up a short mirror in one of the unused back rooms and Victor brought out a huge bag of hair and make up supplies. Yuuri sat down in front of the mirror.

“I don’t want to change my hair between the short and FS programs,” said Yuuri, “Can we just keep it simple?”

“At your command!” said Victor with a flourish, holding three combs and a pot of hair goop, “You’re the boss. Maybe to the side?”

Yuuri shrugged and Victor carefully parted and brushed Yuuri’s hair to one side.

They locked eyes in the mirror. “No.”

“Are you sure?” giggled Victor, while he ruffled Yuuri’s hair back.

“Just comb it back.” said Yuuri, grinning despite himself.

Victor did, “Huh, that actually looks really good.”

“You don’t say,” said Yuuri drily.

Victor worked hair gel through the sides of Yuuri’s head and fluffed the top.

“Not too much,” warned Yuuri.

“Relax,” said Victor impatiently, “I’m not going  make you look foolish. How’s that?”

Yuuri turned his head, admiring himself. The sides were slicked back but the top fluttered and moved, occasionally a lock of hair curled over his forehead.

 _A tempting proposition,_ thought Victor as Yuuri, clearly astonished at the difference, looked at himself in the mirror for a long time.

“When you’re quite done admiring yourself-“ said Victor, the jab softened by a smile. Yuuri blushed and grinned at him. Victor held out a tube of lipstick.

“I don’t want-“

“Humor me,” said Victor.

Victor applied a clear wax to Yuuri’s lips and then handed the lipstick to Yuuri. “You do it,” said Victor, “You know yourself better.”

Yuuri got closer to the mirror and carefully swiped the bright red color on himself. _Holy shit, I look good._

“Doesn’t it look great?” said Victor excitedly, forgetting himself and placing his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders, leaning his weight on Yuuri.

“It’s....different....” was Yuuri’s non committal reply, “I don’t know if it’s me... But...” he glanced at Victor, “Maybe if... I mean... the lipstick by itself looks out of place, don’t you think.”

“Oh! Of course!” Victor dug into his make up bag, “Let’s do your eyes and a bit of rouge.”

“Yeah,” said Yuuri, for some reason he felt relieved, something in his stomach unclenched.

“Do you have any ideas?” asked Victor, dumping all of the make up onto a towel, “Here, face me.”

Yuuri turned but continued looking at himself in the mirror, “Um... Hm... Well, Minako once played a part that had a dark costume, she had really long eyelashes, her eyes looked...”

“Do you have pictures?”

Victor carefully considered the photo of Minako that Yuuri showed him. “I see. So something soft and dewy, but still dangerous looking?” He looked up to consider Yuuri’s face, “Okay. Then let’s soften the lips too, something more like wine-colored, maybe a stain.” Victor tapped his cheek with a tube of mascara, his eyes glazing over as he thought.

Yuuri took the face wipe Victor gave him and wiped his lips off, “You’re the make up expert, if you see me as seductive, then everyone else will too.” Yuuri grinned at Victor’s expression.

 

 

 

 


	7. Beached

Kyushu’s rink had a large amount of seating. “Stop it,” said Victor, not bothering to look at him.

“I haven’t done anything,” said Yuuri, falling into step with Victor as they made their way to the rink. With the skates on, Yuuri was Victor’s height, so it was a little harder to stare him down.

“You’re going to be fine, last year was last year,” Victor swerved to stand in front of Yuuri.

Yuuri let out a huge sigh, confirming Victor’s suspicions, “You’re right. This year’s different. I’m with you.”

“Exactly, now get started with warm ups, I’ve got to go change.” Victor patted Yuuri’s shoulder and took off for the locker room. _He is going to kill me, one of these days he’s going to say the wrong thing and I’m going to keel over,_ Victor looked back once at Yuuri, _maybe I’m just a fool._

Victor took his sweet time getting dressed and admiring himself. Yuuri came running in, his skates slung across his shoulders. “I forgot I have to do the make up!”

Victor shrugged, “We can go light on the make up today. The lipstick and the eyelashes, Yuuri...”

But Yuuri had already leapt ahead to the next bone that needed to be worried, “Why are _you_ even changing?”

Victor made Yuuri sit down, “First of all because I’m debuting as coach. Second of all, relax.”

Yuuri covered his face, “You’re right, I totally forgot. I’d gotten so used to you that I forgot it’s still news to everyone else.”

“That’s right, now get dressed! It’s almost time.”

\--------------------

When Yuuri reappeared in his warm up jacket, his make up was light and flirty instead of dark and mysterious, he was also close mouthed and distant. _What happened? I thought I had just gotten you through your nerves._

“Yuuri, before you go out to the warm-up, I just want you to know...” Victor trailed off as Yuuri wordlessly handed him his skate guards and stepped onto the ice. _Rude._ When Yuuri came back after the warm up, Victor tapped his foot loudly and crossed his arms. Yuuri glanced once at Victor, but refused to make eye contact. He took a drink of water.

_What can I do? What can I do? Yuuri trusts me right? He knows that I care about him._ “Turn around Yuuri.” ordered Victor quietly. Yuuri did as told, but flinched when Victor wrapped his arms around him. It was a light hug, almost impersonal.

“You’ve done this a million times, Yuuri. You’ve charmed me before, now you have to charm them. Should be easy, right?”

Yuuri nodded, “Yes.” He held Victor’s hand, comforting them both. Victor let him go onto the ice.

Yuuri took his place, Victor quickly moved around the rink, and when Yuuri lifted his chin in invitation to his lover, Victor was able to give him an approving nod. _He’s being inconsistent today,_ Victor clenched his fist as Yuuri over rotated the first jump. _However,_ _Yuuri has the rare gift of understanding the music’s movement and flow. He lets the music guide him where it will._ And to Victor’s dismay, he felt his chest grow tight in longing, he consciously made himself focus on Yuuri. _He’s all that matters right now, it’s thanks to him that I’ve been able to look beyond skating. Focus, Victor._

Yuuri felt the sweat roll down his back, despite the lace and the ice. _Victor’s going to scold me for sure after this, what was the feeling of this part? Right! The passionate ending, the cold refusal, and the next lover’s embrace!_ The cheers broke through his fog and Yuuri managed to take a bow.

Victor started in on him as soon as Yuuri stepped off the ice, Victor’s voice was light, clutching the Makkachin tissue box. The scores left Yuuri feeling watery relief, but Victor advanced on him, looking vaguely threatening despite shoving the plushie dog in Yuuri’s face.

“I don’t want to lower the difficulty for the free skate,” said Yuuri stubbornly, disliking Victor’s tone.

“We won’t keep it like that,” said Victor, still using the plush Makkachin as a barrier, “You should definitely listen to your coach who has your best interests at heart.” Victor barked, hiding behind the plushie.

“Cute” said Yuuri, but wouldn’t meet Victor’s eyes.

\------------

Usually, Victor enjoyed meeting other skaters, but watching Yuuri interact with the younger competitors was painful and frankly, embarrassing. However, he didn’t want to throw Yuuri’s concentration, so he pursed his lips and kept silent the first time Yuuri brushed off skater Minami. The second time though, Victor lost his temper.

“I’m surprised you have any motivation at all Yuuri,” said Victor, his words unchecked, “Your cruelty towards Minami is disappointing, if you aren’t supportive of the younger skaters, how do you expect them to be motivated to continue in this sport?” He slapped Yuuri’s guards down and stalked away. _Ooooh shit, oh crap. What have I done? Relax, Yuuri’s smart and he’s...resilient, he’s learning to become resilient._

Yuuri started to walk away towards the locker room, sulking, just as Minami was taking to the ice, but then Yuuri ran back to the sidelines and screamed for Minami to give it his best. Yuuri actually stayed to watch Minami’s entire performance and congratulated him afterwards, shaking his hand. Minami melted like candy floss under Yuuri’s attention and was overcome with emotion at whatever Yuuri was saying. Yuuri excused himself and left, _I’ll let him cool off_ , decided Victor, _I shouldn’t lose my temper like that, though; Yuuri deserves better._

\--------------------------

When Yuuri returned for his free skate routine, he looked relaxed.

“I really do love this costume,” said Victor. Yuuri gave him a small smile. Encouraged, Victor smoothed Yuuri’s hair back, tucking several stubborn strands back into place. _I wonder..._ “Your lips, Yuuri,” he reached into his pocket and Yuuri opened his mouth as Victor applied some cream. He then pulled Yuuri into a hug, Yuuri rested his forehead on Victor’s shoulder, and then took to the ice.

\-------------

As he started the routine, Yuuri felt some unimportant worry, some unnamed slime, fall from him. _I wonder why Victor was being so clingy,_ he hit the first jump and felt a bit smug, sure that Victor was going to know he didn’t follow his advice. _Victor was right, I feel a bit disjointed,_  Yuuri tipped his head back, _ah well._

When Yuuri cracked his face into the rink wall, Victor flinched and felt guilty about even suggesting a jump so late in Yuuri’s routine. But Yuuri continued to skate through it, continued to defy Victor’s advice. When Yuuri ended the routine, his arms reaching for the future,

Victor brought the Makkachin up to his face, annoyed that Yuuri refused to listen to him. _Who does he think he is? Where does he get the idea that he can just do as he thinks is best?_ He looked up again. Yuuri caught Victor’s gaze and held it, two gobs of blood coating his mouth and chin. Victor covered his mouth, _From me!_

Victor dragged his gloved hand across his face as we made his way to the step off. _His skating was so sloppy, if I were Yakov...._

The thunderous applause caught Victor’s attention, the other competitors were cheering and losing their goddamned minds over Yuuri’s routine. It was astonishing that such sloppy skating received such a reception. He looked at Yuuri who was now bowing, Yuuri quickly turned and started skating towards the step off _. Of course. Of course, it’s him. They’re cheering_ him _on. They know he can only improve from here._

Yuuri slowly made his way off the ice towards him, looking sheepish. Victor sighed and rubbed his forehead, then he held out his arms to Yuuri for a hug.

Yuuri gave an excited yell and threw himself at Victor.

_My brand new suit!_ Victor dodged Yuuri, who slammed into the floor again.

_Whoops..._ Victor helped Yuuri up just as his scores were called. _He’s spacing out again_.

“These scores are so good!” Somehow, Victor managed to shove tissues into Yuuri’s hands and hug him at the same time. Yuuri wiped at his face, careful of his costume and Victor’s suit.

“Aren’t they good Yuuri?”

“Ah,” agreed Yuuri, still wiping his face and looking dazed, “What did _you_ think?” asked Yuuri, his nose still bleeding.

“You were being very impatient today, and missing your jumps. I didn’t know if your next movement was going to end with you on the floor.”

“Oh,” Yuuri’s shoulders hitched.

“But...” added Victor, acutely aware that all skaters needed motivation from those they admired, “That’s why I couldn’t take my eyes off you. It was breath taking and I can only imagine how you are going to improve.” He gave Yuuri an extra hard squeeze.

“I’ll continue to work hard with you,” mumbled Yuuri, holding fistfuls of bloody tissues, his mouth and chin stained with blood.

“Of course you will,” Victor let himself curl into Yuuri and nuzzle him, “I’m very proud.” Maybe Yuuri needed the extra affirmations because he stayed stock still as Victor fussed over and hugged him.

\-----------------------

“Are you sure you feel okay?” Victor gently ran his fingers across Yuuri’s forehead as they left Kyushu. They bus rumbled quietly in the pre-dawn.

“I’m okay,” assured Yuuri, “Besides, don’t you think it would give my face more character if I had broken my nose?”

Victor snorted,” No.” Yuuri chuckled, feeling slightly giddy after the press conference where he presented his theme of “Love”.

_I made some pretty bold claims about love and motivation,_ Yuuri slouched in his seat, _but if Victor believes in me then I’ll for sure live up to them._ He tugged at his hair, _love is a pretty big statement, I just hope that I can make everyone proud._ He grinned at himself, _Minako and everyone else are going to give me a hard time with what I said about feeling all alone even though they’ve supported me my whole life. I deserve to get scolded!_

“What are you smiling about?” asked Victor, also slouching in his seat.

“Don’t slouch, Victor, it’s not attractive,” said Yuuri, slouching further.

“Ooh, feeling saucy after that press conference, are we?” Victor straightened anyway.

“I was thinking we could have a beach day, when we get back,” said Yuuri, looking up at Victor.

“Do you really want to start slacking off now?” said Victor, lifting an eyebrow in doubt.

Yuuri looked at him, wide-eyed, “Do you think I’m that bad off that I can’t even take a day to have fun with you?”

_Crap... how does he manage to corner me like this?_ “No, of course not. A beach day it is.... Also, I want to apologize about losing my temper at the competition. I know it’s a rather late apology, I just wanted you to know that I won’t lose my temper again.”

Yuuri looked concerned and alarmed, “Don’t apologize, you were right. I was being an ass to Minami. I got caught up in my own thoughts and didn’t consider those around me.”

“Yes, but-“

“No.” said Yuuri. Victor sighed and slid down so he could look at Yuuri head on.

“I promise to do better anyway,” said Victor.

\------------------

“Wow! This beach looks amazing!” Victor was carrying Makkachin across the hot sand, he wore dark sunglasses but still shaded his eyes as he gazed down the beach. Gold sand, dark blue water, and a fierce sun overhead.

“It’s pretty popular around June and July, but the tourists leave for the big cities after August.” Yuuri dumped their stuff onto the ground and flopped down onto the warm sand too, ready to nap.

“You _can’t_ be serious,” admonished Victor, he grabbed one of Yuuri’s legs and started dragging him towards the water.

“I can walk! Let go, Victor!” Yuuri tried kicking out, but Victor hung on for dear life, “The sand’s getting into my shorts!” he screeched and managed to kick away.

Victor held his hands out defensively as Yuuri stalked after him, “Now hold on there, what’s that look for, huh?” He yelped and made a dash for the water, Yuuri,  dove in after Victor, managing to grab his arm.

“Mercy,” laughed Victor, but Yuuri placed his other arm on Victor’s neck and with a bit of leverage, dunked Victor under the water. Undaunted, Victor swept Yuuri’s knees out and they both went under, Makkachin nervously paddled and barked around them. They resurfaced gasping for air in the shallow water just as a wave came down and knocked them down, tumbling them into the surf. Yuuri, laughing and coughing up seaweed-y water, held himself up on his hands. He tucked a knee under himself in case he had to leap from a wave again.

“Victor?!” he called out, looking around.

A shout of laughter behind him, Victor emerged, dripping as much sand as water, “Revenge!” and tackled Yuuri. Somehow they managed to crawl out of the tumultuous surf, looking like breaded chicken. They rested for a moment before diving back into the ocean.

Victor spit again, “I keep biting down on sand.” He floated on his back, keeping Yuuri and the beach in his vision.

Yuuri gave him a look and dove under the water again, resurfacing with a beautiful conch shell, it was a pale creamy color except for the bands of brown and the inner pearl iridescence.

“Here’s another one, want it? Oops, never mind!” A crab emerged and Yuuri quickly lobbed the hermit crab back into the ocean.

Victor tickled Makkachin’s head as the dog swam by them, “I’m hungry, Yuuri, forget the shells. Let’s have lunch.”

“I’m hungry too,” admitted Yuuri, splashing Victor.

“Don’t start,” warned Victor.

Yuuri sputtered, “I wasn’t! It was just a friendly splash.”

They stumbled back onto the beach, Makkachin easily leaping through the waves.

They ate cold chicken salads with lukewarm lemonade, occasionally humoring Makkachin and throwing a ball for him to retrieve.

Victor dug into the cooler and brought out a bag of grapes, “Catch.” He threw a grape, Yuuri lunged and missed.

“No, Makkachin!” said Yuuri, prying the grape out of Makkachin’s mouth.

Yuuri threw the next one and cackled when Makkachin lunged for the grape too, butting heads with Victor. “Makkachin, stop!” Victor held Makkachin between his legs and threw a grape, Yuuri managed to catch it. Yuuri grinned widely and pelted Victor with a grape, smacking him in the eye. “I’m warning you, Yuuri.” said Victor, rubbing grape juice off his face. But Yuuri just laughed hysterically as Victor threw grapes at him as hard as he could. Pretending to be furious, Victor took advantage of Yuuri’s hysteria to pin him.

“Catch,” he said, and Yuuri opened his mouth, accepting the grape from Victor’s hand.

Eventually they just relaxed on the sand, Makkachin stretched out between them, Victor absently feeding Yuuri grapes and staring out into the ocean.

“Ah, I wish I’d brought something smaller to wear,” mourned Victor, “I’m going to have an embarrassing tan line after today.” He threw the remaining grapes into the cooler.

“Who cares,” said Yuuri, stretching his arms over his head, he squinted in the bright sunlight and reached for the hat he’d brought.

“I care,” pouted Victor, “It’s important to look good naked. I’m going to strip!”

Yuuri’s response was muffled under the baseball hat he’d laid over his face.

“Don’t you want to see me naked, Yuuri,” purred Victor.

Yuuri lifted the hat off his mouth, but kept his eyes covered, “Don’t you _dare_ strip, Victor Nikiforov. I’m not going to be accessory to indecent exposure.”

“Like you could stop me,” said Victor, “I’m stripping,” he declared. Yuuri dropped his hat aside and threw himself at Victor, Victor shouted gleefully as they rolled in the sand.

 

“Maybe we overdid it,” said Victor, feeling several sand burns on his back and arms. He glanced at Yuuri and laughed. “If I look half as bad as you do, then your mother’s going to scold us.”

Yuuri responded with a shrug, he didn’t dare open his mouth with the amount of sand on his face.

Victor looked Yuuri down, “I’ve got to say, Yuuri, you look really good in such a short amount of time.”

Yuuri carefully wiped his face. “You think so?” he shook sand from his hair and towel.

“Makkachin, come here,” called Victor.

Between them both they washed most of the sand from Makkachin and then bundled the sopping wet poodle into the car Victor had rented for the day.

Yuuri was furiously scrubbing his head, trying to get rid of the sand, he looked up at Victor who was struggling as well, there was a magnificent sand burn trailing down Victor’s left arm. Yuuri burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny, sand boy?” asked Victor, in a mocking tone.

“You!” Yuuri hung onto the shower, unable to control his laughter, “There’s so much sand _everywhere!”_

“You’re right, you missed a spot here,” Victor, reached over and stuck Yuuri’s head directly under the full blast of the shower. Yuuri sputtered and laughed harder. They got most of the sand off and climbed into the car still dripping wet. The car smelled awful, there was sand in his butt and in his ears, but Victor couldn’t stop grinning or affectionately touching Yuuri’s face or neck or his shoulders.

They drove away from the beach with the windows down, loud music blaring from the speakers, Makkachin delighted with the day he got to roll in _so_ many smelly things. So many.

Yuuri plucked Victor’s sunglasses from his face and shoved the baseball hat onto him. They chose an outdoor restaurant for dinner so Makkachin could have a chance to air dry.

“They’re never going to get the smell off the car,” laughed Victor, “I might as well buy it and give it to you.”

“Pft,” Yuuri shook his head, “They’ll clean it up. Trust me, they’ve dealt with worse. I can drive the rest of the way, if you’re tired.”

“I’ll drive. Besides, you can’t drive without your glasses _and_ wearing sunglasses. And I wouldn’t dream of destroying your look.”

Yuuri slid the sunglasses over his head and put on his glasses to consider Victor.

“Besides, you drove us here the entire way,” insisted Victor.

“Alright,” relented Yuuri and slid the sunglasses over his glasses, annoying the waiter that took their order because he refused to take the sunglasses off and took twice as long to order for himself and to help Victor order too.


	8. New Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW, ish

 

“I can’t believe you fly like this,” said Victor, “the seats are quite cramped, and it’s cold!”

“Welcome to middle class,” said Yuuri, shoving his and Victor’s carry-on bags into the overhead, “No, move over Victor, just trust me, you’ll want the aisle seat.”

Yuuri took the window seat, “See? Now you can stretch your legs out once we’re in the air.”

Once the seat belt sign clicked off, Victor stretched out, purposefully invading Yuuri’s space, he leaned his shoulder into Yuuri, “I’m going to buy one of those neck pillows too, remind me, okay?”

“Hm,” said Yuuri, trying to doze off, he threw the blanket over Victor and crossed his arms.

When Yuuri awoke, the plane was still a couple of hours away from Beijing. Cautiously, he looked over and saw Victor was fast asleep, Yuuri yawned, his ears popping, it was comforting to have Victor so close, like a lucky charm. _No,_ thought Yuuri, _better than a lucky charm, I just don’t have a word for it yet,_ and he fell back asleep, his head resting on Victor.

\----------------------

Yuuri could feel Victor’s annoyance from across the rink, and gave himself ten more minutes of practice. Finally he skated over to Victor.

 “Had enough?”

 _I wonder what’s gotten into him._ “Yes, let me clean up and we’ll- what did you want to do again?”

“Hot pot! I’ve only said it like a million times,” groaned Victor, “Look it’s already 7, I’m starving!” Victor followed Yuuri into the locker room and waited for him to shower.

“Ah, hold on a minute Victor,” Yuuri grabbed Victor’s sleeve and scanned the crowd of skaters, press, coaches, and staff that filled the foyer of the Beijing rink.

“There he is!” Yuuri said, his face turning pink. Victor looked across the crowd of people. “Phichit!” called Yuuri, dragging Victor along with him, “Phichit!”

Phichit yelped and ran over to them, his coach Celestino, trailing behind with a fond smile for both Phichit and Yuuri.

“How’s the coaching gig going?” Celestino asked Victor while Yuuri and Phichit chattered and hugged.

“It’s tough,” said Victor truthfully, “I didn’t realize how much work it is.”

Celestino laughed heartily, “You seem to have taken to it, though. Yuuri’s flourishing under you.”

Victor nodded, “I’m learning a lot from him too.”

Yuuri came forward, “Let’s invite Phichit to hot pot.”

“Sure! Celestino, come too. I want to have someone who’ll drink with me.”

Celestino shrugged at Phichit who, grinning like mad, nodded.

“Oh alright, but only a little.”

At the restaurant, Victor and Celestino both started drinking right away while Phichit and Yuuri spoke about their routines.

“Yuuri,” slurred Victor halfway through dinner, “Try some of the food! Go on! You haven’t eaten anything!”

“Phichit and I aren’t eating raw food. And put your shirt back on!” hissed Yuuri, he snagged the discarded shirt from behind Victor’s chair and tried to wrestle it back over his head. Yuuri didn’t even notice Celestino had dozed off, drooling while Phichit took fifty pictures.

“Forget the shirt!” said Victor, fighting back, “Ah, Phichit take a picture!”

He threw himself over Yuuri, winking back at Phichit.

“Seriously? Phichit! Help me out here!” Yuuri pried Victor off of him.

“No way!” cackled Phichit, “I’m not getting between you two.”

“You’re the worst.”

Phichit flipped the camera and took a selfie of the mess that was their table.

Yuuri reached across the table and tried snatching the phone from Phichit who easily dodged him.

“Ah! The pup has teeth! Victor, would you get him under control?”

“Yuuri,” said Victor, wobbling in his chair, “I am very disappointed in you.” He giggled, reveling in being drunk. He draped himself over Yuuri, speaking Russian.

Yuuri snickered and buried his laughter in Victor’s shirt.

“Give me your money, I’ll go pay the bill while you get Victor dressed and Celestino wakes up.” Phichit collected the money and ran off to pay.

Somehow, Victor was dressed again and was even wearing his coat. Yuuri threw Victor’s scarf over himself and gingerly poked Celestino’s head, “Psst, pssst.”

Celestino jerked upright, wiped the drool from his mouth and gave them a goofy grin, “ Leaving? So soon?”

“Hot springs,” whispered Victor, hugging Yuuri and leaning heavily on him, “We should go to a hot springs. That’ll sober us up.”

Phichit came back and gave Yuuri a long suffering look as he helped Celestino up and out. Yuuri made sure nothing was left on the table. He slung and arm under Victor and they managed to walk out.

“I drank a lot,” said Victor as they made their way to the hotel.

“I think so too,” said Yuuri, laughing softly, “But that’s okay, I’m glad you had fun.”

Yuuri got Victor into bed and pulled his shoes off. As Yuuri was struggling to peel Victor’s coat off without rolling him out of the bed, Victor sat up and hugged Yuuri fiercely.

“Thanks for letting me coach you, Yuuri. I mean it,” Victor leaned back, his eyes bright and glassy. “Do you understand?”

Yuuri brushed back Victor’s hair. “Not really.”

“I’ve never been happier than this past year. And you’re the reason.” Victor smiled at him, still goofy from the alcohol.

“I’m glad,” said Yuuri, managing to get Victor out of his coat

“Listen to me, Yuuri, I may be drunk, but I’m still lucid,” he reached up and nuzzled into Yuuri’s neck. “Don’t let them bully you,” he gripped Yuuri’s shirt tightly, “Don’t let them think that you’re anything less than important to me.”

Yuuri petted Victor’s hair, “I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

Yuuri grinned, “You know, I’ve been making you a lot of promises. I’m starting to lose track.”

“Forget all the other ones,” said Victor, pulling more of Yuuri’s shirt and digging his head into Yuuri’s chest, “This one is important.”

“Alright, alright,” said Yuuri, “I promise. Let go of my shirt and drink some water, I don’t want you getting sick.”

\-----------------------

Victor awoke with a start, he checked the time: 5:40am. He lay back down, feeling a little queasy. Yuuri was still asleep, Victor stretched and lay down on his elbows. _How embarrassing! Now I know how Yuuri feels. Still, I’m glad I said all of those things to him._

Victor got up and began to get ready for the day.

\-----------------

“I’ll see you in a bit, Yuuri, be nice to the other skaters,” said Victor, wagging his finger.

Yuuri nodded feeling nervous, but as soon as Phichit arrived, Yuuri pounced.

“Phichit, what have I said about uploading pictures,” Yuuri managed to look threatening.

“I couldn’t help myself! It’s a good picture, besides, who cares?” Phichit grasped onto Yuuri, pleading his indefensible case.

“I don’t want people to get the wrong idea!” said Yuuri tightly.

“Oh, you mean the idea that you’re having sex with Victor?” Phichit’s lips curled into a smile.

Yuuri dragged his hand across his face, “Why are you like this?” he managed through his teeth.

“Because it’s funny to see you get worked up. Oh my!” Phichit back pedaled as Christopher Giacometti pressed himself up to Yuuri, cupping Yuuri’s ass.

“Yuuri, I saw the pictures, why is it that I’m left out of your fun? Hm?”

Yuuri yelped. “Oh, Chris!” He grinned and Chris let him go, laughing at Phichit’s expression.

“Honestly Yuuri,” scolded Phichit, “You’ve _got_ to slow down with the lovers! How am I suppose to feel about this?” Chris made the situation worse by winking at Phichit, and wrapping an arm around Yuuri.

“Gah,” said Yuuri, placing one hand of Phichit’s face, another on Chris’ chest and pushing them both away, “Both of you are annoying me!”

Chris chuckled at Yuuri, “It’s an interesting skill to be able to make Mr. Katsuki angry, Mr. Chulanont.”

“Oh definitely, Mr. Giacometti. This one does not easily anger. But when he does-“

“Ooh, an interesting challenge, don’t you think?” Chris rested his chin on Yuuri’s head.

“Ahh,” Phichit cocked his head and slung an arm around Yuuri, “ I would have the unfair advantage over you. So you’ll be playing this game alone.”

Yuuri couldn’t hold onto his annoyance and laughed, “You two are awful!”

Phichit hugged Yuuri tighter, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s head, “Ooh! I’ve missed you! I’ve got to go stretch, see you in a bit.”

Chris watched Phichit walk away and turned back to Yuuri, a wry smile on his face, “You really know how to pick ‘em, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s sigh was all exasperation and pique, “Thanks, Chris.”

“In all seriousness,” said Chris, a light smile on his lips, “You look really happy, and your body is rocking. I guess Victor was good for you?”

“Is good to me,” amended Yuuri, “Speaking of...”

Victor walked into the stretching room and greeted Chris, “Well well, it’s nice to see you again.”

 _I wonder what Chris said that’s made Yuuri blush_. Chris tugged on Victor’s tie, giving him a knowing look, and rolled his eyes when his own coach scolded Victor for not skating this season. _Ah, well at least Chris understands_ , Victor excused himself from Chris’ coach when two female skaters called him over.

“You don’t look guilty over stealing Victor from us,” murmured Chris, leaning his weight on Yuuri.

“I don’t feel guilty,” said Yuuri, and then because it was Chris, Yuuri added, “Besides, don’t you like Victor’s replacement?” He smiled sweetly up at Chris, who laughed and chucked Yuuri under the chin.

“Cute. But will it be enough to advance?” asked Chris without malice and walked away.

Victor watched the skaters starting to get serious, but occasionally looking at him. _They don’t understand what it’s like, they want to continue looking up to me for inspiration,_ Victor rubbed his neck and forced himself to take in a deep breath, making sure he could still breathe, _Yuuri and I have found our inspiration in each other, yet it doesn’t weigh. They need to find their own_. _At least Yuuri looks focused._ Victor waved Chris’ questions away, sweet Chris. “Ssh!” _Even Chris doesn’t understand as much as I thought, naturally; what’s between Yuuri and me is still being figured out._

\--------------

“Any last words?” asked Yuuri, leaning on the rink wall as Victor tucked Yuuri’s glasses in his pocket.

Victor covered Yuuri’s hand with his own, running his fingers across the smooth texture of the costume. “It’s time Yuuri. Seduce me as I am, no more barriers Or are you afraid of me?”

“No,” said Yuuri enlacing their hands. He pushed his forehead against Victor’s, bearing down with an intense gaze, “I want everyone to know that you’re mine.”

Victor thought of hot sand and bright blue ocean water. “ So don’t you dare blink, Nikiforov. I want you to feel this.” Yuuri’s voice was low and Victor had to strain to hear the soft words, couched in this private moment between them on a stage so public.

Victor’s breath caught in his throat, Yuuri reached up, and touched Victor’s face lightly. And then he was gone, taking to the center of the rink.

\-----------------

Yuuri’s heart was beating so hard, he felt his vision shake. He took a deep breath and centered himself. The music started and Yuuri lost himself to the music.

 _I may have made a mistake in giving Yuuri this music_ , conceded Victor as he watched Yuuri lick his lips and run his hands down his torso. _My health may suffer for it._

 _Am I blanking out? I’ve got to concentrate_ , vaguely Yuuri knew that he was doing a good job, and suddenly he felt the weight of his body again, the step sequence was easy, Yuuri thought of Victor’s hands on his face, and that sometimes Victor would catch him staring for no reason. He thought of Ice Castle ringing with their laughter. He thought of the day at the beach, when Victor fed him grapes one by one, occasionally Victor’s finger would brush against his lips, lingering. He thought of Victor carrying Makkachin on their way to Ice Castle for fun, he thought of Victor’s flushed face last night, demanding he be taken seriously. _Oh...I love Victor._ Yuuri’s chest felt like it was expanding, _Nope, not dealing with this right now._ Yuuri thought of how Victor had met his gaze a few minutes ago, he hit the triple axel with ease. Victor hadn’t looked away, _nope, still not thinking about that right now._ Yuuri felt in his bones that the step sequence was beautiful, _even Minako had wondered how I was going to skate eros, but I’ve become a different person since then. I’ve grown and changed, and now the world gets to see me reborn._ Yuuri landed his next quad and his thoughts drifted again, _Victor’s passion has taught me so much, and no one knows it like I do. I’ve seen it, all of it, on and off the ice. And it’s made me a better person._ Yuuri flung his arm out for the last sequence, threw the imagined lover aside and finished. _...Nope, still not thinking about it._

Feeling dizzy and short of breath, Yuuri bowed and noticed a giant plush poodle someone had thrown, he picked it up and bowed again, heading for the kiss and cry booth. Victor met him there, ecstatic and handing him his water, draping Yuuri with his warm-up jacket.

Yuuri distantly heard himself answer Victor’s questions. When the scores went up, Yuuri leaned forward trying to see what he got. Victor yelled and hugged him tightly.

“What did I get?”

Victor must have noticed the weird distance because he said, “106.84” and escorted him to an empty part of the locker rooms.

Everything was coming back into focus, Yuuri started trembling, he leaned back onto the wall, gasping.

“Sit down, Yuuri,” Victor was there, thankfully. Yuuri clutched onto him and tried to control his breathing.

“What’s wrong?” Victor took off his overcoat and wrapped Yuuri in it.

“I- I don’t know,” said Yuuri, his teeth clicking together, “S-sorry. I’m okay.”

“You are _not_ ,” said Victor, “Did you hurt yourself?”

“N-no, can I take this off? I feel like I’m dying.” Yuuri tugged at the sleeves of his costume.

Victor helped Yuuri strip to the waist while Yuuri fumbled with his skates. Victor brought him some flavored water and food. “Eat, drink.” said Victor, sitting by him.

Yuuri managed to drink the flavored water, but couldn’t eat. Yuuri bent over himself, and covered his face. He gave a shaky laugh, “I-I think the eros got to me.”

“Well I know how to relieve that,” murmured Victor, “I’ll get Chris in here right away.”

Yuuri reared back, almost hitting Victor, and he laughed. “Oh, s-sure. That sounds like the perfect cure.”

Victor affectionately ran his hand through Yuuri’s hair.

 _I want him I want him I want him,_ “Gloves.” whispered Yuuri.

“Hm?”

“Gloves off.”

“Oh, sorry. Is that better?” Victor pulled the glove off with his teeth and continued to stroke Yuuri’s hair.

“Yes,” Yuuri rested against Victor, “What did I score?”

“106.84. And you deserved every point,” Victor let his hand fall, “Here, eat and drink. Did you even have breakfast?”

“No,” said Yuuri, he felt ravenous and inhaled the food that Victor gave him.

“You ready to face them?”

“In a minute,” said Yuuri, “I’m enjoying this.” Victor wrapped an arm around Yuuri and let him rest. Victor’s hands traced a slow path down his back, Yuuri shivered and pressed himself more into Victor’s embrace. Victor pressed his lips to Yuuri’s shoulder.

A door slammed nearby, startling them both. Victor’s jaw and his hands ached from longing, Yuuri looked just as dazed as he felt.

When no one entered the locker room, Victor helped Yuuri back into his costume and zipped the warm up jacket up to Yuuri’s chin.

Yuuri kept his eyes on Victor, measuring, memorizing.

“What are you thinking,” asked Victor.

“I’m not sure,” said Yuuri, touching Victor’s face.

Victor turned his head, kissing Yuuri’s palm.

 

\-------------------------

“I’m fine now,” said Yuuri, trying to reassure Victor, “Go on and do your interview, I’m going to watch Leo’s skate. Chris is after, if you want to hurry.”

Victor nodded and went to answer a few questions from the press.

Phichit and Guang-Hong Ji were watching Leo’s skate routine.

“You did so good!” Phichit congratulated Yuuri, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I forgot to eat breakfast and... threw up after my routine.” Yuuri wasn’t sure why he lied, _It’s not like even I know why I freaked out. If I knew I would tell Phichit._ Yuuri carefully did not think about anything that was going to upset him.

Phichit shook his head, “Your coach is supposed to remember silly stuff like that for you. Ah look, Chris is starting.”

“He looks as stunning as always,” said Victor, coming up behind them.

“He does, and the song-“

“Is anything _but_ suggestive,” chirped Phichit.

Victor looped an arm under Yuuri’s shoulder and laid his other hand on Yuuri’s stomach.

“I wonder who he’s skating for,” murmured Victor into Yuuri’s ear.

Yuuri grinned and rubbed his ear, “That tickles.” Yuuri slid his arm over Victor’s and leaned back into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always forget how far behind you all are and so when I’m about to post a new chapter I get incredibly confused, and I have to go back to skim the previous chapter to make sure I’m not fucking something up. I’m writing the rough draft of the Grand Prix right now and you are all still at the first competition. It gets a bit confusing.
> 
>  
> 
>  


	9. Under the Surface

VICTOR: I set your alarm for 8am, I set FOUR alarms. Call me as soon as you wake up so I can meet you at the rink.

.....

.....

YUURI: I’m up. I’ll see you at the rink in 20 minutes.

\-------

 _Enough’s enough,_ “Yuuri! Come over here. Did you get _any_ sleep last night?” Victor considered Yuuri’s smudged eyes.

“Yes?”

Victor looked at his watch: 12pm. “Come on, let’s go back to the hotel.”

Yuuri fretted with his jacket, his bag, and his hat the entire walk back to the hotel. Victor pressed his lips together and didn’t say a thing.

“Okay,” said Victor cheerfully, when they got back into the hotel, “It’s nap time!” He pulled the blinds closed.

“What? No! I don’t want-“

“Sorry,” said Victor giving him that hard, glassy smile, “Your opinion is null and void. _Sleep._ ” Victor managed to get Yuuri to strip down to his underwear and into bed. He sprawled down next to him, throwing an arm around Yuuri, “I’m watching you. I want to see sheep, I want to see drooling.”

Yuuri huddled, giving Victor a long suffering and baleful stare. He closed his eyes.

\-------------------------

“You didn’t nap at all!” said Victor taking in Yuuri’s rumpled and exhausted appearance when he woke up, “Alright. I _forbid_ you from doing any jumps during practice.”

Yuuri flinched and refused to look at him, dodging his gaze like an expert.

“Please listen to your coach, Yuuri! No jumps.” They headed to the rink.

 

 _Goddamn it Yuuri, what do you have against my advice?_ Victor squeezed his scarf as Yuuri warmed up and did a jump, flubbing it spectacularly. _Now he’s going to feel worse. What do I do? What do I do?_

Victor went for relentlessly cheerful, “Don’t worry about that flubbed jump! Many skaters flub things during warm up that they clinch during their routine!.”

Yuuri didn’t say anything, keeping his eyes on the floor as they headed to the waiting area.

\------------------

 _What is he doing now?_ Victor watched Yuuri walk around the viewing area and turn off all of the TVs, people murmured angrily, but didn’t say anything directly to him. Yuuri sat down, shaking his leg and looking at nothing.

_Oh my God, and I’m the one who’s a dramatic asshole._

Victor remained silent, keeping Yuuri moving through the warm up area, away from the press. Yuuri was so wrapped up in himself that Victor doubted he could have recited his own name or birth date. Victor decided he had to try something anyway, he took Yuuri by the shoulder and dragged him down stairs into the belly of the building.

“So.” Victor tipped his head, “You’ve decided to give up.” _I literally don’t know what else to do, Yuuri, help me out, what do you need?_

Yuuri flinched and shook harder, “N-no.”

“Really?” Victor sighed, “If that’s the case then... I have to admit defeat. If you can’t medal here then I will resign as coach. I’m sorry to have disappointed you.”

Yuuri stared at him, eyes wide and full of panic, “But, I-“

“I’m the one in charge of you,” said Victor, voice full of impatience, “so I’ll take full responsibility for what happens here.” He stared Yuuri down coldly, waiting, “What do you want me to do, Yuuri? I see no way out of here, either medal and continue on or,” Victor dragged his hair back, “I don’t know.” Yuuri looked shocked, his eyes blank. _What is he going to do? Will it be enough? I don’t know what to expect from him. Come on Yuuri, react!_

Victor flinched when fat tears streamed down Yuuri’s face. _Oh fuck me. Oh fuck._

“Why would you say that?” said Yuuri, his voice surprisingly steady for someone who had sprung a giant leak and whose nose was dripping, “Why would you try to-“ Yuuri hiccoughed, “I’m used to my own failures, but I don’t want to fail you.” Yuuri’s self control broke, “I don’t want my failures to touch you!” He was openly sobbing.

“Yuuri...”

“I keep wondering if you want to leave. If I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone!” Victor froze, staring as Yuuri gasped between sobs.

“Of course I don’t want to leave. I’ve never been happier.” Victor took a step forward, still unsure of what to do.

“I know that!” screamed Yuuri, he glared at Victor, suddenly furious, “Don’t you think I know that? I’m not stupid!” Yuuri balled his fists, taking a step towards Victor.

Victor flinched, admitting for once, defeat. “I don’t know what to say... Should I just kiss you? Will that make you happy?”

“No!” Yuuri stepped back, “Just have faith in me! You’re what’s kept me going through this year. I need your strength right now, I need you to stay right here where I can see you. Where you can reach me!” Yuuri refused to cover his face and continued to cry, great heaving shudders ripped through him, his ears and the skin under his eyebrows turned red from the force of his sobs.

Victor eventually reached out to Yuuri to gently dry his face, and wrap an arm around him, “I’m here Yuuri. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

Yuuri nodded and hiccoughed. “We have a few minutes,” said Victor quietly, “Take your time. I’m not leaving.”

Yuuri nodded again, leaning against Victor.

\------------------------

_I think Victor’s the one who’s had the greater shock, I feel fine now. It’s funny, I’ve never cried so hard, even after last year’s Grand Prix._

Yuuri took off his guards and stepped onto the ice while the kids scooped up flowers and plushies from the rink. He took several tissues and blew his nose. Yuuri’s eyes flickered and he dropped the tissues to one side, missing Victor’s open palm. Victor dove and managed to catch the tissues, _What the...._

Yuuri poked the top of his head, and then patted his hair, _foolish man._

\--------------

Yuuri skated through his first piece with ease, enjoying the cold emanating from the ice that cooled his face. _I’ve never felt more clear._

 _I can’t believe the face Victor made when I started to cry, I don’t know what he expected after saying something so cruel._ Yuuri successfully did his first jump and visuals. _Victor’s new to being a coach, he’s never had to lead someone through._ Yuuri hit the next jump and stumbled. _Oops, oh well, it went okay considering everything._

 _He looks so much better._ Victor held the plushie Makkachin close, _He’s smiling, even though I was an ass._

 _He’s so stupid,_ thought Yuuri without rancor, _he knows how I am and how the pressure gets to me, he should have been better prepared. He has no idea, none at all, but maybe he’ll learn. Hm... I wonder what he would do if I changed the last jump._

 _I should have remembered how fragile Yuuri’s state of mind is,_ Victor watched Yuuri slip and fall, but get up and continue skating _, I was hoping that Yuuri wouldn’t be affected by the pressure since I was next to him, with my presence alone._ Victor let his breath go as Yuuri successfully did the step sequence, _that was stupid for me to think. Yuuri isn’t the kind of person to lean their entire weight on someone. He wants to find his own strength, funny.... That’s really funny Yuuri, and here I am learning how to rely on others, on you._ Victor watched Yuuri aggressively lean into the visuals. _I should have done better for him. He’s doesn’t look tired at all though._

 _I want to make Victor happy, not as a coach, but as...._ Yuuri wasn’t sure as what, _Victor is more than my coach, he’s my friend, but that sounds too weak for what I want_. Yuuri leaned into his turn, enjoying the pull of momentum on him. The combination spin left him breathless, _who is Victor to me?_ When he landed the triple lutz/toe loop jump perfectly, he started feeling heady. _That was really high._ Yuuri reached the end of his long step sequence, _I’m going to show Victor how important he is to me._ He could feel the sweat slide down his neck, but he felt less tired than even before he started. He was humming with energy. _Alright.... alright... one.. two.. three!_ Yuuri leapt and managed the quadruple flip, landing on his ass. _Hahaha, oh my God, that was great, I wish I could see Victor’s face._ Yuuri continued with his program, the second combination spin sparkled and bloomed. Yuuri grinned and threw his head back, enjoying the way his speed fell and grew in sync with his movements. He lifted his arms and held his breath. The music ended, Yuuri breathed out.

He had a perfect view of Victor, at the end of his fingers. Victor had covered his face. _This is going to be good,_ thought Yuuri as Victor took off running for the step off. Yuuri scrambled to join him.

“I was great, right Victor?” Yuuri threw his arms out, ready for his hug. _Did you see? Did you understand?_

Victor’s gaze was indecipherable as he launched himself from rink side onto the ice.

Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri, throwing them both back. They landed on the ice, Victor’s arms firmly around Yuuri’s head. “I can’t believe you did that,” said Victor, and kissed him.

Yuuri felt his chest contract and his hands bunched into Victor’s coat.

Victor withdrew, “I couldn’t think of anything else that would show you how I felt, watching you do that jump. I can’t believe you.” He smiled.

“I was pretty great,” said Yuuri grinning broadly. _He understood me. He kissed me!_

Victor leaned down, brushing his head against Yuuri’s, “Come on, we’ve made enough fools of ourselves.”

Yuuri laughed, not sure that Victor was making sense.

\----------------

“Congratulations, Phichit,” Yuuri hugged his friend tightly.

“Congrats yourself, lover boy,” said Phichit quietly, “That was some kiss.”

Yuuri nodded, “I can’t believe he did that.” He shook his head at Phichit’s curious gaze, “It’s not like that. We're not... I don’t...”

“Mmhm,” said Phichit, one eyebrow arched high.

“Seriously, Phichit...” Yuuri rubbed his neck, trying to explain himself.

“Text me about it, once you’ve figured it out,” said Phichit, nudging Yuuri.

“Well Yuuri, I have to admit that you’ve really surprised me,” Chris gave him a warm hug, “Now I know what you’re capable of. It won’t be so easy from now on.”

“I surprised myself,” said Yuuri, unwilling to lie into Chris’ unshielded gaze.

Chris hugged Phichit and they exchanged numbers, chattering happily.

\------------------------

“Are you ready for Rostelecom cup, Yuuri?” their plane was delayed for a couple of hours, Victor scrolled through the hundreds of pictures Mrs. Katsuki had curated during the past week they had been gone. “Your mother sure loves taking pictures of Makkachin.”

“Let me see,” Yuuri leaned over and looked at all of the pictures. “I don’t think it’s just her, these all have different resolutions. She must ask the guests for any pictures they take of Makkachin for you. She did the same thing with Vicchan when I was away.”

For some reason, Victor felt his throat close up, “She’s the sweetest.” He put his phone away.

“So. Yuuri, Rostelecom Cup.”

“I feel ready to face him again. That’s what you’re really asking, right?”

“Ah, you’ve got me,” Victor shrugged, unashamed, “Yurio will have been practicing non-stop. For some reason he’s got a huge thorn up his ass about beating you. Don’t ask me why.”

“I don’t have to,” said Yuuri, “Look at all the snow around the hot spring!” Victor ignored the picture Yuko had sent Yuuri of the hot spring.

“What do you know?”

“The reason Yurio wants to grind me into the dirt. He thought he was doing me a favor by thinking I wasn’t capable to competing, oh sure, he knows I have skill, but what good is that alone?”

Victor gaped at Yuuri, who grinned at him.

“But I guess that blew up in his face during Hot springs on Ice. Funny, right? Also, we text each other a bunch about what we’re doing. It’s recently turned into really aggressive insults. It’s difficult trying to keep it PG, but he keeps me creative.”

Victor stared at him in shock, “You know, Takeshi lied to me. He said you had a hard time making friends.”

“That wasn’t a lie,” said Yuuri, tucking his phone away.

“But, Yurio.”

Yuuri shrugged, “I don’t know, and by now I just accept it.”

“Phichit and Chris both consider you a friend. Celestino thinks highly of you, even Morooka has cheered you on for a long time.” Victor looked stumped, “You know.... You’re a lot better at making friends than I am, I think.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Yuuri, in disbelief, “You’ve got tons of friends!”

“Name one friend I’ve mentioned besides Yurio, who isn’t really a friend, or Chris, who _is_ my friend. And you don’t count either,” said Victor, “for obvious reasons.”

“Yurio’s your friend!”

“Yurio is a menace, and I’ve never been able to tame him like you have.”

Yuuri gaped and stuttered, but couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You’ve seriously got to look beyond yourself Yuuri, this is _just_ like with Minami.”

Yuuri huffed and leaned back in the chair, realizing Victor was right.

“You have tons of friends!”

“Let’s change the subject,” said Victor, slinging an arm behind Yuuri’s back.

“Fine,” said Yuuri, his eyes flashing to Victor, “About the kiss. Was it just to surprise me, or did you have other motivation?”

“Uh well...” Victor was thrown by the abrupt change in topic, "I'm not sure what you mean. I just wanted to kiss you."

"But why?"

"Do I need a reason to want to kiss you?" Victor quickly turned his head, as if he'd said too much. 

Yuuri opened his mouth and then shut it.

“Excuse me, sirs.” An airport coordinator approached them, “There’s a plane for you to board at gate 9. Please forgive the delay and accept this upgrade as well.”

“Thanks!” Victor immediately stood up, grabbing his and Yuuri’s bags, “Yuuri, grab the tickets. We’ve got to run if we’re going to make it.”

“What? No we don’t.” But Victor took off.

 _So he doesn’t want to talk about it, fine. I’ve got time before the next competition, it’s not like you’re going anywhere._ Yuuri thanked the coordinator and followed Victor at a more leisurely pace. Once their plane was in the air, Victor yawned hugely, making a show of being exhausted. Yuuri didn’t say anything, and stroked Victor’s hair as he leaned on his shoulder.

“Yuuri, please, I’m trying to sleep.” murmured Victor.

“Oh, am I bothering you?” teased Yuuri.

Rather than respond, Victor pretended to be asleep.

\-------------------

Yuko was waiting for them at the train station, she hugged both of them. “Your parents are throwing you a party. I told them it wasn’t going to be a surprise anyway, so you don’t have to act surprised. Also I made them put away the streamers and cake, it’s just going to be the Katsukis, and the Nishigoris. Minako sends her congratulations from Guam.”

Yuuri clasped Yuko’s hands and laid his forehead on them, “I owe you a thousand squats.”

“Eh? What about me, Yuko?” Victor pouted, knowing that Yuko wasn’t going to be intimidated.

“Oh!” and to Victor’s surprise she blushed, “Sorry, of course you’ll be there, Victor!” She laughed, tugging on her bangs, “Sorry, sorry. I forgot, and counted you as a Katsuki.”

“You might as well,” said Yuuri drily.

 _Unbelievable!_ thought Victor not for the first time during their trip home. Yuko looked surprised but managed to keep her eyes from flickering over to Victor.

“My mother’s been sending him hundreds of pictures of Makkachin."

“How cute!” Yuko, “Just like with Vicchan!”  Now Yuko looked at Victor, there was too much curiosity in her gaze for Victor to feel utterly at ease.

\-----------------------

The party was more of a fun dinner, Victor thanked Mrs. Katsuki for the pictures of Makkachin.

“It was nothing dear! Thank you for trusting us with Makkachin.”

Throughout dinner, Victor’s gaze kept sliding to Yuuri, who was regaling the triplets with some story they found hilarious. Yuuri looked up at Victor, winked and then continued with his story.

 _Did he just_ , Victor dry swallowed a bit of roasted vegetable. He felt a pleasant flush crawl up his skin, _it’s just the liquor, right?_ He offered Yuuri his cup of alcohol and to his surprise, Yuuri took a small sip.

Afterwards, they were in Yuuri’s room talking about nothing. Victor lay sprawled on Yuuri’s bed and Yuuri sat backwards on his desk chair, arms resting on the back. During a moment of silence Yuuri asked, “Are you nervous about going back to Russia?"

VIctor's eyes were heavy with sleep, "Hm, no. I'm excited to see everyone again. Are you nervous?"

"A little," said Yuuri, bouncing his leg.

Victor didn't respond, and eventually bid Yuuri good night.

\----------------------

YUURI: Hey barf-mouth, what does Victor do when he’s nervous?

YURIO: What kind of weak-ass, shit-insults are you bringing in here, thigh-flab? give me a sec.

YUURI: Also, care to stop criticizing my body? It hurts Makkachin’s feelings. and also, ease up on those hyphens, they’re not going anywhere.

YURIO: [shark face] I’m trying to help you here!

YUURI: [clasped hands]

YURIO: According to Yakov and Mila he tends to hem and haw, but not for long?... hold on they’re ranting now. Give me a min.

Yuuri tapped his phone screen while he waited, Makkachin nosed into his room and jumped into bed with him.

“Do _you_ know, Makkachin?” asked Yuuri. He took a selfie of him and Makkachin and posted it, with the description, “knows which bed is most comfy, smart dog”.

YURIO: Yakov says, he focuses on the problem until it drives him nuts or he gets it. Mila agreed and adds that he gets “real snippy” when ppl try to pry it out of him.

YUURI: Thanks! [thumbs up]

YURIO: What are you two even fighting about???

YUURI: Wish I knew!

YURIO: >.>


	10. Dawn of the New Day

Ice Castle waited for him the next day, wrapped in mist, the banners hidden in the dawn darkness. Yuuri quickly made his way to the side door and into the building, for a moment he simply stood by the rink, taking in the quiet and the peace, before taking to the ice.

\-----------------

“You left without breakfast,” called out Victor, “You mother sent me with food.”

Yuuri turned, startled to hear Victor’s voice, he skated towards Victor with a small smile.

“You brought me breakfast? Cute.” He leaned on the half wall and wiped his face.

Victor leaned on the wall too, Yuuri’s face was flushed with exertion, his hair slicked with sweat. “Why are you up so early? It’s unusual.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I had a lot of things on my mind.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Yes. What did you bring?”

Victor waited, hoping Yuuri would answer his question. When Yuuri remained silent, Victor said, “Usual breakfast. Come and eat.”

“I’m actually not hungry,” said Yuuri, taking a drink of water, “Can you just watch me?”

“You’re assuming that I’ve already eaten,” said Victor, “but I haven’t. I’m going to sit on this bench and eat.”

Yuuri sighed, took one last cool down lap and then stepped off the ice. Victor had spread the food out on the bench and had already started eating.

“It looks delicious, thanks for bringing it all the way out here.” Yuuri served himself and dug in.

“Thought you weren’t hungry.”

“I didn’t want you to eat alone.”

\----------------------

 “Yuri, don’t you think you’ve been here enough time?” Mila sat on the rink wall, phone in her hands.

“No.”

“But it’s been hours and hours!” Mila stood on the rink wall, taking a selfie with Yuri in the background.

“Katsuki would practice for longer than this.”

“Yuri, come off the ice. Georgi is worried about you, and if he’s worried then I’ll tell Yakov. And _then_ you’ll have Lilia on you.” She slid off the wall, “Come now or I’m leaving.”

Yurio blew air through his teeth, “I don’t care. I’m not going to let him surpass me, I’m going to be the one to take gold.”

“You’ve gotten really boring lately,” complained Mila, “This crush you have on Japanese Yuuri is silly. He and Victor are already dating.”

Yurio braked, “What. How would you even know something like that? Have you been skyping Victor?”

“Just once,” answered Mila, “But it’s rather obvious, isn’t it?”

Yurio’s lip curled, “I haven’t heard they’re dating.”

Mila sighed, pretending to be patient, “Well of course they wouldn’t _say_ anything, can you imagine? Victor Nikiforov and Japanese Yuuri: Dating! And,” Mila added with twisting malice only 18 year olds were capable of, “I _doubt_ you’d be first in line to hear the good news. Probably last!”

“Why would I be last?” Yurio skated close to Mila who shrugged as if the conversation had lost its interest.

“Probably because of your feelings for Victor and the other Yuuri.”

Yurio sputtered, “I don’t have _feelings_ -“

Mila rolled her eyes, “You have the _loudest_ feelings, which is the problem.”

Yurio flipped her off and continued to skate.

“Very rude, Yuri!”

\--------------

“Is there something else you’d like to see?” Victor asked, skating slowly around Yuuri. The front and back of his shirt were damp with sweat, and his breath came in slow and deep.

“You know you don’t have to pretend for me,” Yuuri stepped into Victor’s path to stop him.

“What are you talking about?” Instead of stopping, Victor ran into Yuuri and spun them both around. Yuuri laughed as Victor grabbed him by the waist.

“Don’t pretend you’re not winded,” said Yuuri, resting his hand behind Victor’s neck.

“I have-“ Victor dipped Yuuri, “no idea what you’re talking about.” Yuuri laughed and hung on.

Yuuri slid a hand to Victor’s cheek, “You’ll faint if you don’t allow yourself to breathe.”

“True!” Victor righted them and took in a noisy breath, Yuuri looped his arm around Victor and lead him off the ice.

“You know Yuuri,” said Victor, “I can skate by myself.”

“Oh, I know.” said Yuuri, “That was fun, though.”

“It was,” said Victor in an odd voice.

\---------------------

YUURI: How’s practice going? // Yuko says her Lutz, Loop, and Axel bought five posters of you yesterday.

YURIO: Good, but Mila and Georgi are being annoying. // Of course the triplets have posters of me to replace your old ones

YUURI: What’s going on with them? // Maybe I should buy a poster of you too? [tongue out emoji]

YURIO: They’re saying stupid shit about you and victor, I don’t want to talk about it. // Ur room would look a lot better with posters of me to replace the ones of victor.

YUURI: But I want to hear the dumb stuff they’re saying! // You have no proof, I deny everything.

YURIO: No u don’t, drop it Katsuki. // HAHAHAHA, I’ll bet my ass you have like 500 posters of him.

YUURI: yikes..... It’s hard to believe they’d be saying bad things about Victor though. // Stop

YURIO: [lion] [angry face] // interesting...

YUURI: oh fuck.

YURIO: if you win the GP, i’ll buy a poster of you and ask you to sign it

YUURI: in front of everyone

YURIO: if I win, then you’ll get a tattoo of my face

YUURI: I’m not getting a tattoo. pick something else [bored emoji]

YURIO: weak. If I win then...Victor comes back to Russia. Simple.

YUURI: seriously yurio, what have they been saying. // I’m hurt, I thought this was between you and me.

YURIO: [annoyed face] // [annoyed face]

YUURI: fine // If I win, u have to come to Hasetsu for a week during the off season and tag me in all of ur IG posts. If u win then.....I’ll carry you around the rink on my back after the podium ceremony.

YURIO: [annoyed face] // [lion] ur going down, pig. [thumbs down]

YUURI: first, I’ll see you in Russia [cat]

\-----------------------

They were taking a break outside of Ice Castle, Yuuri’s face still cooling off from morning practice. Victor offered the bag of dried fruits to him, Yuuri took some and flipped a slice into his mouth. They were leaning on the rails that separated the sidewalk from the cliffs and ocean.

“I love the ocean,” said Victor, “It’s never the same.”

“You think so?”

“It _looks_ the same, but it isn’t.” Victor threw a papaya chunk out to the water.

Yuuri remained silent, _that’s true, on the surface the ocean is similar. Underneath, the currents change._ Yuuri looked at Victor, “And it changes the land around it.”

“I suppose it does,” Victor threw another papaya bit into the ocean.

Yuuri leaned his shoulder on Victor, “I think I like you, Victor. A lot.” As soon as he said it, Yuuri pressed his hand to his lips, _I sounded so stupid, what kind of confession is that??_

“You _think?_ I’ve been here for like seven months-“ Victor stopped, his gaze sliding to Yuuri’s face, “Ah, you meant romantic.”

Yuuri nodded, fighting back the urge to take off running, “You don’t have to feel the same, but I just wanted you to know.” _I want you to know that I love you, that I love you so much, but you can’t just tell someone that you love them outright, can you? We’re not even dating._

Victor stared at him, smiling but still looking annoyed, “Damn it, Yuuri.”

“You _don’t_ have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.” Yuuri blushed, but his blood ran cold.

Victor reached out and took Yuuri’s hand, “You just got ahead of me. I wanted to- Can I kiss you?” _Why are you like this? Why are you always leaping ahead of me, Yuuri?_

Yuuri nodded and the kiss was warm, though Victor’s fingers on his face were cold.

“I wanted to say it first,” said Victor, his hair tickling Yuuri’s face, “I wanted to tell you that you’re incredible.” Yuuri blinked up at him and Victor kissed his nose.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you feel like you have to say something.”

Victor placed his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders, “I’m glad you said something. Even though it wasn’t very romantic. At all.” Victor gave him a crooked smile.

 _Teasing, okay, I understand this._ Yuuri shrugged, “Like you said, I wanted to beat you to it.”

“Maybe next time, right Yuuri?”

“Hah, okay.” Yuuri’s face felt hot as Victor softly kissed him, lips barely brushing his own.

\------------------

The Sheremetyevo airport was decorated in serious greys and blues, and the sky outside had the bite of oncoming winter.

Yurio walked behind Yakov, keeping Mila to his left and within his peripheral vision. “Here, watch my bags, Mila.” Yurio ran off without saying another word.

“Coach,” said Mila with as much annoyance an 18 year old could manage with dignity, “Yuri has run off again.”

“Oh, his family must be here to pick him up. Let’s each grab one of his bags to carry to the hotel.”

 

Yurio swung his head, back and forth until he saw the old beat up green car.

“Grandpa! Grandpa!” Yurio shrieked and ran into his grandfather’s arms.

“Hold on- Hurk!” Grandfather let himself fall on the ground, his back seizing up.

“I’m sorry Grandpa Kolya! I forgot about your back,” wailed Yurio.

“It’s okay. You’re very light, though you’re strong,” gingerly, Kolya stood up, Yurio helping him up. “Come on, let’s go home so you can rest and be ready for practice tomorrow.”

Yurio tucked his bag under his legs and curled into a ball, resting his feet on the dashboard.

“Here, Yura, I made pirozhki’s for us to share. Take the first one.” His grandfather gave him a brown paper bag. Yurio took a large bite, enjoying the familiar taste.

“Grandpa, have you ever had a pork cutlet bowl? I had them while I was in Japan.”

“I remember you mentioned them. Have they really made you lose your taste for pirozhkis?” Kolya asked thoughtfully.

Yurio spit pirozhki all over the dashboard, “No! Never! They were just very good!”

“What are they called again?”

“Uh well it’s katsuk- I mean katsudon, but the Japanese Yuuri introduced them to me as pork cutlet bowls.”

Kolya grumbled, but Yurio didn’t notice him as the radio cut to a news clip talking about Victor.

\-------

Yurio kissed his grandfather’s cheek and waved good-bye in front of the hotel. As he walked in, Yurio noticed Victor, wearing sunglasses (indoors) and drinking from a coffee cup, surrounded by press.

“It’s not about me right now, please focus on Yuuri Katsuki, he’s worked very hard to get here and deserves your attention,” said Victor in a light tone,

One of the sharper reporters asked, “If you really admire Mr. Katsuki’s skating then wouldn’t you like to compete against him?” Victor smiled, and then jerked his chin up, looking over the reporters surrounding him, “Oh! It’s Yurio! Hi Yurio!” He waved happily.

_That piece of shit! He’s even encouraging them with that stupid name!_

Victor surged forward, wrapping an arm around Yurio, “Do you all love the short program I put together for Yurio?” He pushed his sunglasses back, Yurio noticed that there were smudges of sleeplessness under his eyes.

Yurio smacked the coffee cup from Victor’s hands, “Don’t pretend that you are still relevant here.”

If Victor was surprised, he hid it well, only smiling down at Yurio. Which made Yurio angrier.

\------------

Yuuri joined Seung Gil Lee as he waited for the elevator, _I don’t really know anyone here except Yurio. It feels so awkward._ Seung Gil didn’t even turn to look at Yuuri.

The elevator doors opened onto a yelling match between Michele Crispino, Sara Crispino, and Emil Nekola.

“Enough, Michele! We’re just going out for coffee,” said Sara, elbowing her twin brother away.

“But-“ sputtered Michele, “You can’t just go out with someone you don’t know!”

Sara looked furious, “Don’t do this!” They turned, not a bit ashamed of having such a public argument, to notice Seung Gil and Yuuri.

Seung Gil and Yuuri looked at one another, then they looked at the three in the elevator.

“Hello Yuuri, Seung Gil! Want to come out to eat lunch with us!” Sara was being friendly and trying to provoke her brother.

“Uhh... No thank you,” said Yuuri, slowly backing away.

Seung Gil stepped into the elevator, refusing to be intimidated, “No. And I’m pretty embarrassed for all of you, having such a loud argument.”

“Hey!” snarled Michele, “You can’t talk to us that way. And this is a private conversation!”

“Held at such a volume and in such a public place,” Seung Gil took on a dark look, “Would make your offense twice as bad.” Yuuri backed away and snuck onto another elevator as the argument reached a fever pitch, Seung Gil looked unfazed and even pleased at their anger.

The elevator doors had almost closed when Yurio slipped inside.

“Why are _you_ sneaking around for? You don’t have any fans that would gladly sell your organs,” said Yurio crossly.

Yurio hit the ninth floor button and remained uncharacteristically silent. _I wonder what’s gotten into him. He looks shaken up._

“Good luck to the two Yuris, right?” Yuuri said, willing to look stupid to get Yurio to say something.

“You’re going down pork bones,” said Yurio, “I’m going to bury you so deep that Victor’s going to have no other choice but to remain in Russia.”

“Ah,” said Yuuri, “You’re still hung up on that. How many points do you need to advance?”

Yurio snorted, “Unlike you, I don’t have to worry and skimp about my points. This is just a stepping stone for me. I’m already at the Grand Prix.”

Yuuri continued to smile, “I’ll see you there then. By the way, I really like your FS routine, but the bangs over your eyes takes away from the emotional power, don’t you think?” Yuuri stepped off on his floor, and gave Yurio a friendly wave.

“What the fuck do you care?!”

“Profanity,” yelled Yuuri back at him through the elevator doors as they closed.

Yurio rubbed his eyes, laughing at Yuuri and himself, if he was being honest. _Grandpa, you’d be proud of me,_ Yuri also felt sure his grandpa would want him to have more than one friend.

\----------

“What is Yuri doing,” Mila asked Yakov, “Is that Japanese Yuuri? How confusing.”

They had been at the rink for ten minutes, Yakov groaned and turned to see what Mila was talking about. Indeed, instead of concentrating on practicing his own routine, Yuri had gone over to the other Yuuri, the conversation was loud on Yuri’s side.

Yakov strode over to the sidelines, “Yuri!” he boomed and then groaned when they both turned.

Yurio grabbed the other Yuuri by the arm and indicated that he was having a conversation.

“Yuri! What do you think you’re doing?” roared Yakov. His Yuri turned away and began practicing, finally. The other Yuuri went back to his practice as well.

“What are you doing, goofing off?” said Yakov.

“I was intimidating the competition,” said Yurio easily, infuriating Yakov.

“Clearly, you were seeking to waste your time,” said Lilia in her clipped voice, “Is there something more important than focusing on your success, do share with us what that is. Or were you planning on handing that _man_ ,” Lilia said the word distastefully, “the gold medal?”

_So, is this what Victor has been dealing with, until I came along and we split Yakov’s attention. It only occurred to Yakov to ask Lilia for help when he realized how much I wanted to beat Victor and that pig._

“I’m not assuming anything,” said Yuri, for some reason he felt slightly queasy, “I’m going to get that gold medal, don’t doubt me.”

\-----------------

“How was that?” Yuuri was starting to feel out of breath, “I think I’m done for today.”

“It’s barely 5. Do it once more, pace your take off and it will show in your landings,” said Victor, “ Do you want to eat in today? We can watch a movie.”

Yuuri took a long draught of water, “Once more, and then I’m done, okay Victor?”

“Do it right, and I’ll agree.”

Yuuri grumbled and did as Victor said.

Yuuri redid the same piece three more times before Victor was satisfied.

“Alright, alright! Bring it in here, Yuuri. So what’ll it be for dinner?”

“I don’t know, you pick. I’m tired.” Yuuri hung off of Victor while he sat down.

“Let’s order room service, it’ll be great! And take a shower here, I don’t want to walk with you all smelly.”

“Too bad,” said Yuuri throwing his stuff into the bag, “Can we take a cab?”

“And be stuck with you inside a closed space? No.”

“Victor.”

Victor relented and they took a cab with the windows rolled down.

Yuuri managed to take a shower without falling asleep, but only two bites of his food before crawling into his bed.

Victor slid into his bed and looked at his messages.

MILA: I think I said something stupid to Yuri

VICTOR: I’m sure it was nothing

MILA: You’re going to be mad

VICTOR: Just tell me

MILA: First of all i was only teasing him. but you know how yuri takes everything seriously

VICTOR: [hourglass]

MILA: .........i was teasing yuri that he had a crush on the other yuri, and then for some reason i said that i was pretty sure you two were dating.... [nervous face]

VICTOR: SERIOUSLY?

MILA: [nervous face]

VICTOR: [annoyed face]

VICTOR: well, just don’t say anything else!

MILA: is it true though

MILA: Vitya?

MILA: Viiiiitya???

MILA: omg

VICTOR: No, it’s not!

MILA: awwwwww

VICTOR: not...yet

MILA: omg. i promise not to say ANYTHING, i really was just teasing yuri, i didn’t mean for him to take it seriously. i promise! i promise!

VICTOR: yeah, okay.

MILA: i don’t care if u don’t believe me, i swear i won’t say anything.

MILA: )))

MILA: )))))))

VICTOR: )))

MILA: )))))!!!


	11. Eros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW
> 
> http://ugyaaa.tumblr.com/post/154007250197/whamber-9
> 
> http://tanaw.tumblr.com/post/152971330755/eros
> 
> I wrote this chapter a while ago and was stunned to find two pieces of art that go so well with it!! I love this art, it’s great and beautiful and I definitely stared at it for a long time while writing.

 

Victor finished tying Yuuri’s skates and looked up, “Ready?”

“Are _you_?” Yuuri smirked, the crowd was calling Victor’s name incessantly.

“Oh, I didn’t realize we’d started,” murmured Victor, he laid a hand on Yuuri’s knee and used it to push himself up. Yuuri let his fingers trail down Victor’s cheek as he rose.

Victor turned to the cheering fans and waved, throwing kisses and peace signs as Yuuri stepped onto the ice.

_Oh no you don’t, not today._

“Victor,” said Yuuri, he grabbed Victor’s tie and yanked him down. “Concentrate.”

“You’re right,” said Victor, fighting back the urge to kiss him. The crowd fell silent.

“Rest easy and let me satisfy you,” said Yuuri in the same tone of voice. Victor’s breath caught and he nodded, their heads bent together, cheeks brushing against one another.

Victor dared to lift his eyes, “I’m yours.” Yuuri shivered.

Yuuri released Victor and skated to the center of the ice, waving to the audience. _I can’t believe Victor wasn’t mad about that,_ Yuuri shivered again, _Did he... like it?_ Yuuri took his starting stance and the spotlight focused on him. Victor quickly retreated from the rink, touching his lips.

 _I refuse to be treated like this,_ Yuuri let the music reach his fingertips, he grasped it and enveloped himself in it. He blew a kiss to the judges for good measure. _I’m worthy of being taken seriously, and the audience will see that tonight._ Yuuri skated languidly, letting his body remember the movements, flicking his wrists and adjusting his expression to suit him. _Sounds like the crowd likes it. Naturally,_ making himself smile at borrowing Victor’s word. Again, the memories of Victor surfaced and Yuuri basked in them. Victor slipping on his ass at Ice Castle. Victor and his mother fawning over Makkachin. Victor eating katsudon with rice on his chin. Victor climbing out of the hot springs, Victor’s hands on his face. Yuuri wrapped his arms around himself. It was over. He bowed and skated off the ice and Victor was there to meet him.

“Yurio!”

“Out of my way, pig,” said Yurio, looking like he’d descended from the stars, kissed by diamond dust.

Yuuri felt like dark oil in comparison, and his thoughts kept straying. When Victor pulled him away from the step off, Yuuri could feel where each of Victor’s fingers touched his skin through the lace. Yuuri grinned wildly, his heart still hammering from the program. Victor also exclaimed over Yurio and they made their way to the kiss and cry booth. As soon as the scores were called, Victor dropped to his knees and kissed Yuuri’s skates. Victor looked up and Yuuri grinned, but someone on the rink caught Yuuri’s attention. Yurio was staring at them, looking furious.

“Good luck! Good luck!” screamed Yuuri and Victor. Yurio snarled and took off.

That’s when Yuuri felt the cold rush of adrenaline heating his chest.

“Let’s go,” said Victor, feeling Yuuri starting to shake under his grip.

Victor took Yuuri’s elbow and lead him away. “Hold on Yuuri, we’re almost at the locker rooms, I’ve got you.” _I’ll get you through this._

“There.” said Yuuri, pushing Victor into a private bathroom usually reserved for VIP guests.

“Oh, okay.”

Yuuri locked the door behind him and leaned against it. Victor saw a plush bench in the corner and pulled it forward for Yuuri to sit.

“Can you breathe?” Victor stepped in close and loosed the two buttons at the nape of Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri gripped Victor’s wrists and pushed him back onto the bench, Victor fell back, staring at Yuuri.

“Victor,” said Yuuri, his voice husky, “My skates.”

“Right.” Victor got off the bench and quickly untied the laces, Yuuri slipped the boots off and in that moment, Victor realized what was happening, he looked up at Yuuri’s flushed face and dark, soft eyes.

“Hm,” Yuuri gave him a small smile and fingered the knot at Victor’s throat, he loosened it and undid the buttons at his neck, “Victor, do you want to kiss me again?”

Victor sat on the bench, hands trailing up Yuuri’s thighs. Victor had never been so acutely aware of how the lace pressed into Yuuri’s skin and just how soft it felt between his fingers. “Yes.”

“Good.” Yuuri placed a knee on the bench, and Victor’s hands slid up, feeling the muscles bunch and relax as Yuuri straddled him.

Yuuri gripped Victor’s neck and kissed him, pressing his tongue against Victor’s lips. Victor groaned, pulling Yuuri in closer, running his hands up Yuuri’s back. Victor’s mouth was hot and soft and yielding, Victor matched Yuuri’s fervor with his own, rocking forward. The tie fell away, Yuuri’s fingers slid down Victor’s chest as the shirt did too.

“Yuuri,” pleaded Victor, as Yuuri pressed his hips down.  Yuuri stood and backed away, “Come.”

Yuuri slid onto the counter and had the distinct pleasure of watching Victor saunter to him, eyes glittering, “Where to?” Victor slid his hands up Yuuri’s arms, Yuuri smiled and wrapped his legs against Victor’s hips, bringing him in close.

Yuuri reached forward, pushing Victor’s hair back, “Is this not enough?”

“You have no idea,” said Victor, his face was close, so close. Their kiss was sloppy and heated, Victor pressed his hands to the small of Yuuri’s back.

“Your mouth is hot.” Yuuri’s lidded eyes and the hot breaths he sighed made Victor harden. He groaned and rested his head on Yuuri, keeping his hips below the level of the counter, not wanting to startle Yuuri away.

“Is it?” Victor pressed his tongue against Yuuri’s neck and then withdrew, trailing his wet mouth down his collar, sucking on Yuuri’s skin through the lace.

“More,” panted Yuuri, wrapping his legs around Victor again, pulling him flush. Yuuri gripped Victor’s hips wanting contact, _I’m going to die_ , thought Victor through the agony of feeling Yuuri hard as well. _I’m going to die and they’re going to cart me off with a boner_. Yuuri undid Victor’s belt, looking into his eyes, daring Victor to stop him. _And it will be worth it._

Victor bit his shoulder, making Yuuri groan and arch against him, he traced the stones and lace down Yuuri’s torso, unclipping the belt of ribbon and heavy rocks around Yuuri’s waist, laying it aside. Victor gripped Yuuri’s hips low, where thigh met muscled abdomen, pressing his fingers into the soft flesh. The sound Yuuri made, almost a whimper, made Victor’s heart slam against his throat.

Yuuri pushed his tongue into Victor’s mouth, wanting to make Victor ache with longing. Victor opened his eyes and was startled to meet Yuuri’s gaze, _too much_ , Victor closed his eyes again and focused on the feeling of Yuuri’s hands stroking him. Victor’s eyes were soft, vulnerable, and he gasped through the orgasm, keeping his eyes open, wanting Yuuri to see.

“Who am I to you, Yuuri?” gasped Victor when they took a breath, Yuuri’s hands were hot and impatient, Victor leaned into Yuuri, shaking. Yuuri pulled his hand out of Victor’s pants, _he looks..._ Victor gazed down at him, and Yuuri held his gaze, their lips almost touching, _lovestruck._

“My coach, my friend. Mine.” Yuuri’s voice rumbled. He held Victor’s chin gently, “Say it.” He brushed his lips against Victor’s wanting to feel and hear him say it, Yuuri kept his eyes open, focused on Victor.

 “I’m yours, Yuuri.” Victor shuddered again and Yuuri cupped his face, not wanting to miss any of Victor’s expressions.

Yuuri let both his hands wander over Victor, the curve of his shoulders, the angles of his ribs. _How long have I wanted him,_ Victor pressed his teeth into Yuuri’s neck.

“Yuuri, can I?” Victor pressed his hands to the inside of Yuuri’s thighs.

“Yes, yes,” said Yuuri against his lips, Victor looked down at Yuuri’s face, mesmerized. He kissed Yuuri’s eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his mouth.

They kissed again, feeling a sweet ache in their desire. Victor pressed his hand against Yuuri’s dick, and held Yuuri’s waist for leverage, Yuuri called his name between gasps. The heat and cold sliced through Yuuri in waves, he broke the kiss and hung on to Victor, moaning and panting. The costume was getting in the way, decided Victor. He pulled Yuuri from the counter. “Turn around.”

“Why?”

“Just do it,” said Victor, Yuuri’s make up was a mess, his hair was sticking up in three different places. Yuuri turned around. Victor curled around Yuuri and brought his hands up low on Yuuri’s abdomen, sliding his fingers low, tracing every curve of him.

Yuuri gasped and curled into the sensation. Victor pulled the zipper on Yuuri’s back down, pushing the sleeves off of his shoulders.

“No,” said Yuuri, shrugging his shoulders.

Victor quickly pulled the lace over Yuuri again, “Can I leave it unzipped?” He trailed kisses down his back.

“Okay, and don’t stop kissing me,” said Yuuri, pushing against Victor, who laughed and laid a warm kiss on his neck.

Yuuri let his head fall forward, rocking against Victor, feeling the desire in how Victor kissed him and the insistent thrust of his hips. Yuuri moaned, “Victor, _Victor_.” Yuuri reached back and Victor took his hand, rutting into the Victor’s warmth and desire.

Victor slid his hands up Yuuri’s chest, the heat and lace and velour was too much. He rocked into Yuuri, who gasped and bolted upright, reaching up to grip Victor’s neck. They watched themselves in the mirror. Victor kissed Yuuri’s neck and pressed his lips against the skin on Yuuri’s back, letting his hands find the tender pressure points that made Yuuri buck against him.

Yuuri, still watching the mirror, still gripping Victor’s neck, shook and arched, gasping through the orgasm. Victor held him tightly, balancing out their changes in stance. Yuuri leaned back, trying to catch his breath, Victor kissing the skin behind his ears, Yuuri closed his eyes and hugged Victor’s neck.

“Do you want to sit down?”

Yuuri shook his head and leaned his elbows on the counter, while Victor held his hips, feeling Yuuri’s legs shake. Yuuri gave him a tired smile through the mirror and Victor grinned, all mischief and warmth. Yuuri caught his breath and hopped back onto the counter, “Kiss me.” Instead, Victor kneeled and nuzzled into his knees and halfway up his thighs, biting into the fabric.

“No way,” said Yuuri, but his eyes were laughing for him.

“Ah well,” Victor grinned up at him and stood. Yuuri leaned forward and Victor kissed him, lips lingering over noses, nibbling jaw lines. Victor slowly zipped Yuuri up again, Yuuri shivered, enjoying where Victor’s fingers touched his skin. Yuuri watched Victor dress himself, and handed over his belt.

“You’re a mess,” Yuuri cupped Victor’s face, rubbing his cheek.

“ _I’m_ a mess?” asked Victor, laughing, “Lucky for you, I came prepared in case of an emergency.” He reached into his coat that lay discarded on the bench and pulled out a small packet of wipes, once they both looked presentable, Victor touched up Yuuri’s make up.

“The belt,” said Yuuri. Victor retrieved it and stood Yuuri in front of the mirror, clipping it around Yuuri’s waist.

“This costume was made for you,” Victor looked at Yuuri’s reflection and held him by the hips.

Yuuri cocked his head.

“Oh sure, I wore it first. But this costume was waiting for you. Look at you.”

Yuuri considered himself in the mirror, but his eyes kept straying to Victor and the warmth at his back, the way Victor was smiling at him.

“You’re not looking.”

“I am,” said Yuuri, unable to look away.

Victor felt giddy, he hugged Yuuri burying his giggle into Yuuri’s shoulder, “Should we go back?”

“Let’s.”

\------------

Yuuri walked in his socks back to the locker room and grinned at himself in the mirror before pulling on his sneakers. Victor took his hand as they walked back to the main warm up area. They saw the Canadian skater trying to tease Yurio.

“What’s his name?” Yuuri pressed his hand against Victor’s elbow.

“Jean Jacques,” said Victor, “but he has a nickname. I think.”

“Oh, I apologize, miss. Go on ahead, ladies first.” Jean Jacques elegantly swept his arm for Yurio, still in his gauzy and sheer agape costume and wearing comically angled cat ears. Yurio crossed his arms and hunched over, grinding his teeth.

 _Where’s Yakov and Lilia?_ Yuuri saw red and stomped ahead, sticking his face into Jean Jacques’, “Listen up, you piece of shit. If you _ever_ dare say something like that to Yuri again, I’m going to make you regret it.”

Jean Jacques back pedaled, but kept a smile on his face.

“Oh pardon me, I didn’t realize the fairy had a demon for protection.”

“Jean Jacques,” Victor sidled up to Yuuri, further blocking Yurio from view, “That joke _was_ in bad taste.”

“It was all in fun, right Yuri?“ Jean Jacques shrugged, “It’s nice to see you again, Victor. Call your demon off, he’s starting to foam at the mouth.”

Yuuri took a step forward, but abruptly stopped, feeling a backwards tug on his arm, but Victor wasn’t touching him. _Yurio._

JJ grinned nervously, “It was only a joke,” and sauntered away.

Victor turned and placed his coat on Yurio, it hung down to the floor.

Yurio was looking down at his skates.

Yuuri sputtered at Yurio’s lowered eyes. “That piece of-“

“All right, all right,” said Victor, wrapping an arm around Yurio, “Enough Yuuri. Where are Yakov and Lilia?”

“Being interviewed, I did terrible.” said Yurio, sounding for the first time, like a young boy.

Yuuri and Victor looked at one another. Yuuri’s anger melted away, “What did you score?”

“It’s not what I scored, you idiot, it’s how I did!” Yurio started yelling again and Yuuri sighed in relief.

Yuuri’s phone rang, it was Mari, “Excuse me,”

“I’ll go drop Yurio off,” said Victor grimly.

“I can walk by myself,” said Yurio, tossing Victor’s coat at him.

“We need to talk,” said Victor, throwing his coat on Yurio’s shoulders again, “Follow me.”

\-----------------

Yurio recognized the steely glint in Victor’s eyes, he’d only seen it once, when Victor and Yakov had a terrible argument a couple of years ago.

“It better be important,” said Yurio.

They sat on one of the benches that lined the hallway, men and women in skimpy outfits walked by, cameras hovering around them at flattering angles.

“I know how it feels,” began Victor, “You feel obligated to choose the most appropriate outfits for the program and song, the best outfits that allow others to view you at their pleasure. And all without regard for yourself.”

Yurio hissed, “Your Yuuri’s outfit is the most scandalous! _You_ wore it when you were 17! _This_ is yours!”

“You’d be surprised what a difference those two years makes, Yurio,” they watched another skater walk by, the back of her dress transparent and glittering. “And yes, that was my costume, but that doesn’t mean you’re not still a child,” continued Victor, “And so was I once, walking around in...” Victor grimaced, “clothes that made me feel uncomfortable when I was off the ice. It’s different when you meet the stares head on, it’s easy to guess their thoughts.”

Yurio remained silent, he swallowed once. “I thought it was just some stupid kid thing I hadn’t moved past. Being uncomfortable in this.” He flicked the feathers on his shoulders.

“Look, here he comes.”

Yurio and Victor watched Yuuri run to them, looking panicked.

“You have to go back,” said Yuuri, “To Hasetsu.”

Victor stood, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Makkachin. I’m not sure what, but he’s very sick. You have to fly out tonight.” Yuuri clutched his phone and grabbed Victor’s shoulder, as if to physically kick him out of the door.

“I can’t leave you,” Victor stood his ground, “I won’t.”

“I don’t need you as much as Makkachin does right now, I’ll be fine! Look, we’ll talk about it on the way to the airport. Just-“ Yuuri sighed in exasperation as Victor turned towards Yurio.

“Yakov.”

Yurio instantly understood, he stood, “Wait here, Katsuki.”

“Oh, okay.” Yuuri thought of Vicchan and how he hadn’t been there.

They found Yakov and explained.

“I can’t just-“ stuttered Yakov.

“You _will_ ,” snapped Yurio, still wearing Victor’s coat, dragging it like a cape.

“I-“

“Please, Yakov,” Victor hugged Yakov and Yakov patted his back awkwardly, “Oh all right. Where is he?”

“Never mind that! I know what room they’re in, and I have Katsuki’s number. You can talk to him later, where’s my jacket Yakov?! Here, Victor.” Yurio gave the coat back and Victor ran.

\-------------

Victor gripped Yuuri’s hand the entire ride to the hotel and to the airport.

“Be safe,” Yuuri kissed his cheek, still holding his hand.

“Good luck,” Victor grabbed Yuuri’s face, “I’ll be watching. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t, just take care of Makkachin, I can do this.”

“I know.”

They looked at one another for a moment longer and then Yuuri pulled away. He called Yurio once he was at the hotel again.

“Victor told me Yakov would be standing in as my coach?”

“Come up to my floor, I’ll introduce you.”

 Yakov turned out to be a gruff man who summarily dismissed Yurio.

“You’ve made great strides in your skating, Katsuki.” Yakov’s English was thick and difficult to understand, even more so than Victor or Yurio.

“Thank you sir.”

“Yuri also has a bone stuck in his teeth about you, which has helped him tremendously. I thought it was fury at Victor abandoning him, but it’s been you all along, hasn’t it? Victor may have done an acceptable job as a coach, but without your innate ability, none of this would be possible.”

Yuuri nodded and waited. Unused to being uninterrupted and encouraged by Yuuri’s attentive gaze, Yakov continued, “That’s why you’re going to be fine tomorrow. Despite Victor’s attentions and sacrifice for you, now’s the time to find strength and stand on your own two feet.”

Yuuri reeled at what Yakov said, _But it’s true. Victor helped me get here, but I’m the one who’s practiced for hours and hours, the one who goes out alone onto the ice for every competition. Victor is my support, but I’m not weak, I can go through this._ Yuuri looked up, “Thank you,” he said emphatically, “Thank you very much.”

“Oh... I uh...” Yakov looked alarmed, “Erm, you are very welcome, young man.”

“You’re advice...” said Yuuri, “I needed to hear it. I won’t fail you or Victor. Good night.”

“Uh,” said Yakov, a bit stunned.

Yuuri met Yurio outside. Yurio grabbed his wrist, glaring at him. They stared at one another for a moment and then Yuuri left.

“What did you tell him?” Yurio immediately went inside, “He looked a lot better.”

“I told him that he had to find his own strength and-“

“Oh, you told him horseshit,” interrupted Yurio and Yakov felt his blood pressure spike, “Nice. Now I can make fun of him for that. After tomorrow,” added Yurio hastily as Yakov’s lip curled and inhaled, ready to start yelling.

 

Yuuri huddled in his bed, _I can do this. I can do this._

\-------------------

“Your grandfather is waiting for you outside, Yuri,” said Yakov, “In the big parking lot.”

Yuri ran and hugged his grandfather in the old car.

“Here, I made these especially for you, so you can do well today,” Kolya said, handing him a bag of pirozhki’s. Yuri bit into it and inhaled at the taste. He looked down and managed to swallow the bite he’d taken.

“What is this?” Yuri thought of wooden floors and of loud dinners.

“Katsudon pirozhki! Pork cutlets!” said Kolya proudly, “Do well today, Yura. I’ll be with you.”

Yuri held the bag close to his chest and nodded happily, they hugged one more time and Yuri ran inside for practice. _It’s cruel, but with Victor gone, there’s no way that pig will be able to power through this. I’m taking gold tonight._

He burst into the locker rom and carefully tucked the pirozhkis into the back corner of his locker, making sure nothing could crush them.

“Lilia, please braid my hair back today. I don’t want it in my face,” said Yurio.

“Why? I thought you liked the bangs.”

“Just, please,” gritted Yurio, _I would rather have my teeth ripped out than tell them why. He was right though,_  thought Yurio furiously, looking at himself in the mirror, _this looks much better_.

“Yakov, I’m changing the position of the jumps . Or else I won’t have a chance of winning.” Yurio saw Lilia lift her chin in approval. Yakov ground his teeth, a vein popped out of his neck, “Are. You. Mad?”

“It’s the only way.”

“Let him” said Lilia, cutting off Yakov’s oncoming tirade, “Let him throw himself away for this.” Yurio nodded and they made their way to the rink.

\-------------

 _All right, I’m ready to break their hearts_. The music was fast paced, _which means I can’t make a single mistake. Especially because that pig doesn’t deserve to medal above me!_ Yurio lost his temper when he thought about JJ’s smug face as well, _That barf-mouth! That rancid sack of horse shit! But he doesn’t matter,_ Yurio hit the jumps easily, _I’m finally going to show Katsuki just who he’s dealing with, I won’t just humble him. I’m going to shatter him._ The fury allowed Yurio to skate through the program, and he collapsed at the end, heaving. _Is it worth it, is it worth it?_ He reached the step off and Yuuri was there, admiration and wonder in his grip as Yuuri squeezed his shoulder and smiled.

“You’re up next piggie.”

 “At least catch your breath first,” said Yuuri quietly, “Love the hair.” No one but Yuuri heard him, and no one else needed too. Triumphantly, Yurio took to the kiss and cry booth with Lilia and punched the air when his scores were called out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling personally attacked right now:  
> http://castielssexappeal.tumblr.com/post/153305760549/im-the-only-one-who-can-satisfy-victor-im-the


	12. Even the Best Laid Plans...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sex is weird and can be silly
> 
> NSFW
> 
>  

 

 _If there’s something I want to do tonight, it’s prove that Victor and I are perfect for one another_ decided Yuuri. He traced the air with his movements and cut through the music. _Crap,_ _that jump... what’s bothering me?_ Yuuri followed the music, letting it move his body. _Victor knew how I felt from the beginning, he knew and never doubted. I never told anyone my full aspirations, but with Victor by my side it felt easy to open up, to give myself away and let a new me be reborn. So what’s bothering me? I know Victor feels something for me, but... is it what I want? What does he want from me, truly?_

Yurio clenched his fists as Yuuri missed another jump, “Davai!” He screamed, “Davai, Yuuri!”

“Wow,” said JJ, “You’ve come to look up to him, haven’t you?”

Yurio felt his head squeeze with the sheer force of his anger, “And you- you’ve tried to catch Victor’s attention for so long, haven’t you? And now you’re surprised that asshole is the one who beat you out. Must be pretty humiliating!”

“Not,” said JJ with a crooked smile, “if _you_ look up to him. Obviously there’s something about him that annoys you, I’d say that makes Mr. Katsuki pretty dangerous.”

Yurio ground his teeth, “You don’t _deserve_ his attention!”

“Whose?” asked JJ innocently, “Victor’s? Or _his?”_ He walked away, looking intently at the ice where Yuuri was skating. “Wish me luck too, Yuri!”

\-------------

Yuuri made it to the kiss and cry booth feeling empty.

“I can’t believe you tossed aside all of the great opportunities that this program offers you,” growled Yakov as soon as Yuuri sat down, “Vitya made this program so you could shine and you just waste it?”

“Vitya?” asked Yuuri.

“Victor! Pay attention!” Yakov growled

 _Ah, so that’s where Victor and Yurio get it from._ Yuuri took a sip of his water as Yakov railed on Yuuri’s performance. After the points were called out, Yakov started lecturing him again. Yuuri reached over and hugged him, “Thanks for everything Yakov. I’m sure Victor will be happy to go back to Russia soon.” It was a lie, Victor would be devastated, but Yuuri lied for Yakov and his own sake, so he wouldn’t shatter right then and there.

\---------------

Yuuri felt lost as he made his way back to the locker room.

“Oh, Yuri, congratulations on going to the Grand Prix!” It was Sara Crispino from Italy, she held her arms out and Yuuri submitted to the hug.

“Thanks.” Yuuri returned the hug gratefully.

Michele Crispino started yelling about his sister, and to shut him up, Yuuri hugged him too, “You did so good.” 

Michele screamed, which brought out Emil Nekola running. _I might as well_. Yuuri hugged Emil tightly, “Good job out there today.”

“Uh... Good job you too...” Emil half-heartedly patted Yuuri’s back.

 _I know Seung Gil Lee is around here somewhere, he was crying earlier... There he is._ “You did good, don’t give up.” Seung Gil grunted, keeping his hands up and away from Yuuri. Seung Gil had the distinct impression that he was being made a fool of, until JJ walked by

Yuuri let Seung Gil go, catching sight of JJ. _Oh what the hell, it will at least freak him out._

 _“_ Good job today.” JJ froze and made an unattractive sound, Yuuri released him quickly, disliking the way JJ smelled, “Your cologne is disgusting.” And then he walked away.

 _Yurio is going to be tricky, I’ll have to surprise him._ But Yurio must have seen what was happening, or he wasn’t in the mood to humor Yuuri because he slipped from Yuuri like an eel in water, screaming obscenities. “Back off! Back off!” Yuuri had to let him go.

\-------------------------

 _I’ve never wanted to win the gold so badly, I’m in the best shape I’ll ever be, it’s got to happen this year. And even if I don’t clinch the gold, I’m going to let Victor go back to skating, it’s for the-_ Yuuri yelped as something small and powerful hit him in the side. He went sliding into the side walk.

“Yurio?” Yuuri rubbed his ribs, “That hurt.”

“Don’t ever do that again,” said Yurio, helping him up.

“What? The hugging?” Yuuri laughed, “You should have seen their faces. JJ’s was priceless.”

Yurio made a disgusted noise, “Speaking of. How dare you look so pathetic after today? You made it to the Grand Prix and all without Victor here. Even though I had everything in my favor, I lost to JJ again. I hate him. You didn’t fail, despite being at a disadvantage.” Yuuri got back to his feet, rubbing his ribs.

“No,” acknowledged Yuuri, “I mean, I didn’t do great, but now I know I can do this without Victor looking over my shoulder, I’m not going to fall apart.”

“You fell apart a little,” said Yurio.

Yuuri chuckled, “It can only get better from here.”

Yurio nodded, “Here”, and tossed him a wrinkled brown paper bag.

“What’s this? A prank?” Yuuri held the bag, it was warm and the bottom stained with oil.

Yurio scoffed, “Why would I-? Just open it!”

Yuuri did, inside were large brown pastries, “For me?”

“It’s almost your birthday, isn’t it? Eat! They’re called pirozhki.”

Yurio watched him eat. Yuuri quickly looked down at the pirozhki, “Is this a pork cutlet bowl _inside_?”

“A katsudon pirozhki!” said Yurio triumphantly “Aren’t they the best? My grandfather made them himself! Don’t you love them?”

Yuuri smiled brightly, “Vkusno! Your grandfather is an amazing cook, Yurio. Thanks for the birthday present.” He took another giant bite while Yurio smiled at him smugly.

“Also...” Yurio followed Yuuri back to the hotel, “I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I would have said something to that shithead myself, but I don’t know, I froze. My grandfather wasn’t feeling well and he couldn’t attend the short program. I-“

“I understand perfectly,” said Yuuri through a mouthful of bread and egg.

Yuuri considered that and then said, “Maybe you should slow down with the pirozhkis, piggie. You’ll get fat again and Victor will be pissed at me.”

Yuuri laughed, “They’re so good though. You’re lucky to have such a grandfather.”

“Yes,” agreed Yurio, “He’s really the best. “One time he snuck me out of school so I could go watch a skating competition.”

“No!”

“He did! My mother was _so_ mad.”

Yuuri listened to Yurio tell him of his grandfather Nikolai, occasionally slipping into Russian and then remembering to speak English. Yuuri didn’t interrupt.

\--------------------------

 _There’s so much to say Victor. I hope you will listen carefully._ Yuuri walked off the plane slowly, wondering if he wanted to meet Victor yet.

A dog barked excitedly, jumping onto the glass that separated passengers from those waiting. _Makkachin!_

Yuuri looked up and caught Victor’s gaze. Victor’s hair was untidy and he looked somber. _He looks so tired, but Makkachin’s okay._ Yuuri started running, keeping his gaze on Victor.

Victor waited impatiently for the glass doors to open, he held his arms out. _I hope he knows that I’m proud of him._ Yuuri leapt forward desperately holding him, shaking and sniffling. Victor buried his face into Yuuri’s neck, _I missed you. I missed you so much._

 _This feels different,_ thought Yuuri, _this feels like more._ Victor embraced him tightly, brushing his hands down Yuuri’s head. _I guess I don’t need him to say what he feels,_ Yuuri held on tightly to Victor, Victor kissed his neck. _This is enough_.

“There’s so much I want to do so I can be a better coach for you,” said Victor softly, stroking his cheek, “Yuuri.” And his own name became a caress, a lingering kiss.

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” Yuuri squeezed Victor, he gathered his courage and then pushed Victor to arms length, holding onto his shoulders.

“Victor, please stay on as my coach until I retire. Please watch over me until then, because I-“ and to Yuuri’s horror, the words caught in his throat, _I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t tell him what he needs to hear, that he has to let go._

Victor took one of Yuuri’s hands, his eyes bright, “You make it sound like a marriage proposal, Yuuri.” Again, Victor said his name like a warm fire, a tender embrace. He kissed Yuuri’s knuckles.

Yuuri laughed, feeling powerless against this moment. He closed the distance between them, resting against Victor, and nevertheless he felt at peace. _I’ll find the right time, I won’t hold you back._

“I don’t want you to ever retire,” whispered Victor as if in rebuke to Yuuri’s own thoughts, Yuuri hugged Victor closer, tears spilling out of his eyes, he gripped the back of Victor’s coat desperately, willing this moment to exist forever.

\--------------

Only his father was still awake so late, Victor waited at the foot of the stairs while they spoke quietly in the dining room, and jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“How is he?” Mari whispered, she had crept quietly down the stairs, her gaze on the door leading to the dining room.

Victor considered what he’d seen, “He’s okay. Ah... Mari, can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Vicchan.” Mari’s small smile was teasing and friendly.

“Do you know if Yuuri.... I mean...” Victor shut his mouth, realizing he didn’t know what Yuuri’s situation was with his family.

“Give him time, Nikiforov,” said Mari quietly, “And if you fuck this up, I’ll slit your throat.” Mari answered a different question, and made Victor want to ask five other questions. Just as quietly she crept up the stairs, Victor picked up Makkachin in his arms as Yuuri reappeared. Together they made their way upstairs. Victor waited for Yuuri in his bedroom, and when Yuuri came back, Victor took his hand and they sat silently on the bed.

“I’m proud of you,” said Victor at last.

Yuuri pursed his lips and said nothing, just stared moodily at the opposite wall.

“You’re tired, I’ll let you sleep.” Victor stood and then abruptly turned, pressing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s forehead.

“Can I,” said Yuuri, breaking his silence, “Can I sleep with you tonight?” Yuuri’s eyes were wide and dark. Victor took his hand and lead Yuuri to his bed where they curled up, facing one another.

“Do you ever think of your future, after skating,” asked Victor, shifting so he could look at Yuuri.

“Not right now, no. But I did at one point.”

“And?”

“I went to college, I guess,” said Yuuri, “Go to sleep Victor. It’s late, even for me.”

Victor sighed, “I think about the future all the time.” He looked at Yuuri steadily, “What are we going to do when we’re old?”

Yuuri smiled at him, “I don’t know, I’d want to go to lots of hot springs when I’m old and everything hurts.”

“Going alone doesn’t sound much fun,” said Victor, “You should have someone to go with. We should be old and go to lots of hot springs together.”

“Hm,” Yuuri felt his eyes close, “Sure, when we’re old we’ll do that.”

\--------------------

“We have three weeks before Barcelona,” said Victor as they warmed up, “Is there anything specifically that you want to work on?”

“The transitions before the jumps,” said Yuuri, groaning as Victor laid his weight on Yuuri’s back to stretch his legs and hips. Stretching after a long flight was always the worst, “I still consistently mess those up.”

“Okay, and we might as well work on the landings too, you’re getting the idea of the feel, but I want you to feel more confident.” Victor let Yuuri up only after he complained, “Don’t look at me like that, you know these stretches are necessary.

\------------

YURIO: Look. [picture of pale-looking pirozkhis on a tray]

YUURI: Why are they all lumpy?

YURIO: Not baked yet. I made them myself!

YUURI: omg, at least tell me that ur not going to eat the first one.

YURIO: i’m not stupid, i’m going to make yakov and georgi eat the first ones. oh, they’re katsudon style btw

YUURI: jealous!

YURIO: You should be!

YUURI: [thumbs up] keep practicing hard! I’ll see you at the GP

YURIO: [thumbs down] im going to cruuuuush you

YUURI: with the weight of your love??? awww

YURIO: fuk u

\----------------

“Are you sure?” asked Yuuri after practice, “You hate walking home alone.” He had a hand on the door, but Victor was still on the ice.

“I’m sure,” said Victor, “Go for your afternoon run. I’m not going to be here for long anyway.”

“Alright,” Yuuri wondered why Victor wanted to skate alone, _maybe he needs time to think about after the GP. I better start preparing myself too._ “See you later,” the words came out softer than he’d intended. Yuuri left, the knot in his throat making it difficult to breathe.

Yuuri trotted home, Makkachin on his heels.

“Let’s go out to eat,” said Yuuri, catching Victor at Yu-Topia’s entrance later that night.

“Oh, really?” Victor grinned, “Let me drop my stuff off. _See?_ This is why you should shower _before_ leaving the rink.”

“Oh can it, Nikiforov.” yelled Yuuri as Victor ran upstairs.

“Where are my boys running off to?” Mrs. Katsuki appeared, looking fondly at them.

“Just dinner, mom.”

“And a drink!”

“Victor, noooo.”

“Oh come on! We won’t get wasted,” insisted Victor, using Yuuri for support as he tugged on his shoes. “Look, I’m even wearing my old sneakers! Come ooon,” Victor nuzzled Yuuri who was trying to decide.

“Go on Yuuri,” said his mother with a grin, “You don’t have to cut loose like your father when you drink.”

“I heard that!” Yuuri’s father called out from the kitchen doors.

“Oh all right,” relented Yuuri and Victor kissed Mrs. Katsuki on the cheek as they left.

\----------

“Makkachin, down,” Victor giggled, squishing his dog’s face, “Sooo cute! Look at this Yuuri! Look!”

“I can’t see a thing,” said Yuuri closing and locking the door behind him, “You still have my glasses? Your shoes Victor!” hissed Yuuri.

“Oops!” Victor kicked them off, “And your glasses are safe,” he patted his coat pocket, “Right here.”

Makkachin started barking and Victor scooped him up, “Shush, baby. Shhh!” He over balanced and Yuuri caught him, laughing.

“I like being tipsy with you,” said Victor as Yuuri pushed him up the stairs.

“Sure, sure,” said Yuuri, taking Makkachin from Victor, “Go brush your teeth.” Yuuri changed into shorts and squeezed into the small bathroom to retrieve his toothbrush.

Finally they made it into bed, “Mmm, hug me,” asked Victor, and Yuuri curling around Victor, kissing his neck. Victor rolled and kissed him back, running his hands down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri grunted and pressed into Victor.

Victor hummed happily and cradled Yuuri’s face, “Hey, Yuuri.” he whispered loudly, making more noise than necessary.

“What?” Yuuri grinned, easily sliding his arms around Victor’s waist, bringing him in closer.

Victor bit back another laugh, “Dammit, I wanted to be sexy drunk, not-“ He blew the bangs out of his eyes.

“Goofy drunk?”

“Yes. This makes it more difficult.”

“Makes what more difficult?”

“Like I said, I wanted to be sexy...” Victor trailed off.

“Oho!” Yuuri propped himself on his elbows, “You wanted to seduce me!”

“Aaagh,” Victor hid his eyes for a moment, “My perfect plan is ruined, now what am I suppose to do?” Victor groaned at the grin on Yuuri’s face, but he giggled anyway, feeling the room sway and stretch.

“You could let me seduce you,” teased Yuuri, “I’ve gotten pretty good at it, you see.”

“No no,” said Victor, turning away, pouting, “I wanted to make you yell _my_ name this time.”

Swallowing his laughter, Yuuri buried his face into Victor’s neck, nipping at the soft skin. With practiced movements, he slid his hand under Victor’s shirt.

“Nooo,” pouted Victor, “My plaaan...”

“Screw your plan, Vitya.” said Yuuri in his ear, “Screw me instead.”

The air burst out of him as Victor turned and slammed him into the bed, “Where did you learn that?” But there was no chance to respond, Victor pressed himself against Yuuri, whispering against his lips, “Say that again, darling.”

“Nuh-uh,” said Yuuri, lightly kissing Victor, “You’ll have to earn it.” Victor melted into him and Yuuri relished each point of contact. Victor’s palm pressed against his neck, their hips finding a comfortable position, and most of all Victor’s lips on his own. They hurriedly peeled off their clothes, but when Victor tried to press himself against Yuuri again, Yuuri pushed Victor back and just stared, the unbroken line from jaw to collar bone down to his sternum.

“Eye up here, Mister,” chided Victor, he nipped at Yuuri’s lips, “Also, careful with those hands and where-hngh” Victor grunted as Yuuri gently ran his hands along Victor’s dick, “You were saying something?”

“No,” said Victor, biting Yuuri’s shoulder as Yuuri gathered him close, “I don’t- hah- think I was.” Victor panted, and pushed Yuuri back onto the bed so he could lean over him, arms encircling Yuuri’s head.

“Enough,” pleaded Victor, pulling Yuuri’s hands away, “Let _me_.”

Oh, all right,” said Yuuri, pretending to be grumpy.

“This isn’t how I imagined it at all,” said Victor leaning back, giving Yuuri a delicious once over, “I expected you to be considerably more sweaty and out of control.”

“While you kept your hair perfect?” asked Yuuri drily, pressing his foot low on Victor’s hip.

“Not how I imagined this at all,” muttered Victor, swatting Yuuri’s foot away.

Yuuri stood on the bed, making it creak, “Victor.”

Victor reflexively swallowed and looked up, his hands sliding up Yuuri’s bare thighs, “Nevermind, this view is worth it.” Victor pressed his lips to the vulnerable inside of Yuuri’s thigh, trailing upwards, “Yuuri, let me.”

“Yes.”

Victor slid his mouth over Yuuri’s dick and had the satisfaction of hearing him gasp. Lazily, he wrapped his arms around Yuuri, hands squeezing his ass.

Yuuri laughed and leaned forward, bracing himself against Victor, “Let me sit-“

“No,” said Victor, licking his lips, before sinking his hot mouth over Yuuri again. Yuuri’s legs began to shake as desire curled in his stomach, he covered his mouth, covering his moans.

And then Victor squeezed his knees, toppling Yuuri onto his back, “Now this is more like it,” gloated Victor.

“Oh yeah?” Yuuri laughed, feeling his face flushed, “Can you please finish? You’re killing me.”

Victor clucked his tongue at the impatience, which made Yuuri laugh harder, “Shush, Yuuri, you’ll wake everyone up.”

“Ah!” Yuuri threw his head back as Victor ran his tongue down him, eliciting another groan. Yuuri clutched at the bed sheets, he lost control of his breath and covered his mouth again, trying to stay quiet. Victor glanced up, and rubbed his thumb along the underside of Yuuri’s dick.

“Victor...” said Yuuri hoarsely, “I want you.” He sat up and kissed him, tipping Victor’s chin into him, tongue pressed against Victor’s lips.

“Mmf,” agreed Victor, and his hands pressed against Yuuri’s ass, pulling their hips together. “I have condoms and lube in that drawer.”

Yuuri twisted around, pushing Victor away, and reached for the bottle and a wrapped condom. He tossed the wrapper at Victor and uncapped the bottle.

“Now, Victor,” commanded Yuuri, hooking his leg around Victor’s waist.

Victor quickly pinched and unrolled the condom over himself, “Turn around.”

“Ugh, no. Face me.” said Yuuri, squirting too much lube onto Victor’s hands. Victor snorted and wiped the excess lube on Yuuri’s face, “Here, just in case.”

“Pfft,” Yuuri laughed, still holding the bottle as Victor grasped his hips, and dragged him over his legs.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

“Okay,” and Yuuri gasped as Victor pressed a finger into him, attentively watching his face.

.

Yuuri lay on his stomach, one arm thrown over Victor possessively while the sweat dried on his back. Victor turned towards Yuuri, admiring the golden skin and dark hair against his white sheets. “I-“ said Victor, then thought better of it, “We should do that more often.”

Yuuri laughed into the crook of his elbow. He stroked Victor’s chest with affection, “You think so?”

“Don’t tease me,” said Victor, cupping Yuuri’s face, they kissed softly, the heat and desire having bled away. They kissed in comfort and silence, finally stopping to look at one another.

“It’s pretty unfair that you look so good after I basically rocked your world, you know.” said Victor, petulant and almost glowing with satisfaction, “I mean really, you look like a god right now.”

Yuuri laid himself on Victor’s chest, “ You really think so?” Yuuri didn’t mean to make the air heavy, but Victor’s smile slid off his face.

“You don’t believe me?”

Yuuri shrugged, tracing Victor’s nose, “You should look in a mirror,” his fingers gently caressed Victor’s mouth.

Yuuri’s eyes were soft and vulnerable, and they made Victor want to cry. “Mm, a mirror above the bed?”

Yuuri cracked up, “Absolutely not!” Yuuri ran his fingers through Victor’s hair and he closed his eyes in pleasure.

“If I remember correctly,” said Victor, his breath warm against Yuuri’s face, “You _like_ mirrors.” Yuuri flushed scarlet at the memory and he chuckled, “You got me.”

“Do I really?” said Victor, pulling away enough to see Yuuri’s eyes, he ran his fingers lightly down Yuuri’s arm, taking his hand and bringing it up to his lips, “That would be my ultimate goal.”

Yuuri wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or cry or- “Victor, I-“ he whispered, the words caught in his throat, those treasonous words that Yuuri _needed_ to say, but couldn’t.

Victor quieted him with a kiss, “Sorry Yuuri, I messed up the mood. Let’s go to sleep so I don’t keep talking.”

Yuuri shook his head, but couldn’t find the words to explain himself. Victor gently turned Yuuri around and spooned him, kissing his neck.


	13. Stammi Vicino I

“Again? Victor, what’s going on, this is the fourth time _this week_ you’ve stayed behind. What are you working on?” demanded Yuuri, skates already in his bag.

“What makes you think I’m working on something? I’m just practicing, I don’t want to forget anything that I want to teach you in the future.” but Victor’s voice, his stance, and the way he chose his words told Yuuri that Victor was hiding something. “What’s the big deal, Yuuri?” Victor skated close, “You practice late _all the time._ ”

Yuuri wanted to push himself through and demand an explanation, _maybe he’s working on something for next season, for himself. He might not want me to intrude._

“I understand,” said Yuuri, and left Ice Castle.

But by the second week, Victor was still pulling unexplainable late nights at Ice Castle and Yuuri decided to confront him about the changes.

Smudges bloomed under Victor’s eyes and he flinched at any loud noises, so Yuuri and his parents started creeping around the house. Mari slammed doors shut with twice as much force which lead to many arguments between her and Yuuri. Also, Victor started spending twice as long in the hot springs, humming aimlessly and tracing the air with his fingers. And in any given conversation, Victor was as likely to fall asleep or space out, staring over your shoulder. Hiroko and Toshiya insisted he intervene, but Yuuri had no idea what to do.

Most unnerving though was his gaze during their practices. Yuuri went through his combination spin with ease and then caught Victor’s gaze. Usually light and impersonal, Victor had become implacable, his gaze burning Yuuri’s skin. _if Victor were to turn his attention to anyone , they’d go up in flames_. _Maybe it’s because the GP is coming up. No, it’s something else, something else has flipped his switch. I want- I need to know what’s happened, if I can help him._ That afternoon Yuuri pretended to leave, waiting in the locker room for ten minutes before re-entering the rink.

“What are you working on, Victor?” Yuuri should have felt nervous, Victor was acting so differently that Yuuri didn’t realize until that moment that he’d quietly accepted Victor’s future departure. It was logical after all, what else was there for Victor to do after the GP but go back to skating? Yuuri leaned on the rink wall, guards in his hands.

“Oh! Uh, nothing.” Victor turned quickly, as if caught in some shameful act. “What are you doing here? I told you to go home,” he said firmly. If Yuuri didn’t know any better, he’d say Victor was trembling.

“That doesn’t look like nothing, it looks familiar, in fact.”

Now Victor was embarrassed up to his eyeballs, he fluttered his hands, shaking Yuuri’s accusations off, “Go home.” Yuuri stepped onto the ice, heart thrumming, he knew exactly what Victor was skating to, he just didn’t understand why.

“It looks really similar to the exhibition skate, Victor.” Yuuri enunciated Victor’s name like he’d heard it pronounced in its native language. He searched Victor’s face for an answer.

Now Victor was stammering, “You’re right, Yuuri. Forgive me.” He skated back, placing distance between them.

“Forgive you?” Yuuri skated closer, determined not to let Victor go until the last second. _You’re mine until the GP is over, and mine you’ll stay until then._ “You’ve done nothing wrong. But why would you make two similar routines to the same music?”

Victor takes a deep breath, looking truly shaken, he pulls a hand through his hair, working through something and it looked like agony.

Yuuri reached him and laid his hand on Victor’s cheek, “What’s going on?” Victor took a deep breath and held his hand out, “Skate with me.”

Yuuri looked at Victor’s hand, and took it. “Stay close,” said Victor, his voice gruff.

And he started the routine, letting Yuuri match his movements. He pulled Yuuri into a turn, then a mock lift, gripping Yuuri’s waist and letting go. Victor draped Yuuri’s hand over his own shoulder, slipping a hand under Yuuri’s ribs as they glided across the ice, an echo of _Stammi Vicino_ echoing in his ears.

 _Oh my God.... it’s a pair skate._ Yuuri caught Victor’s eyes, and his chest tightened, everything felt too small and too large.

Yuuri felt the tears well up in his eyes, he swallowed the knot in his throat. Victor also looked glassy eyed as they spun and turned slowly. Victor caressed his face and there was another mock lift. Yuuri stopped skating, he covered his mouth and continued watching Victor as he skated around him. Victor’s face was hope and fear, love and loss, it was a question and answer. Victor finished, his breath coming quickly, sweat pouring off of him, he looked at Yuuri, trembling, waiting to be judged. Yuuri skated to him and laid his hands on Victor’s chest.

“You’re shaking, Yuuri.” Victor murmured, reaching up to wipe the tears away, “I was going to show you later, but you-“

“It’s beautiful. I love it,” Yuuri kissed him and still, Victor shook, “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“You can’t?” Victor seemed caught between thoughts, his words were almost inaudible, he smoothed Yuuri’s bangs back. “But everything’s been for you...I feel odd, Yuuri. Everything’s spinning,” said Victor, apologizing.

“That’s okay,” said Yuuri, “Sit down”

And Victor did, his legs buckled and Yuuri helped him down.

“You fool,” whispered Yuuri, grinning through his tears.

Victor hummed and continued to touch Yuuri’s face.

“Did you hear me?”

Yuuri tucked Victor’s head under his chin and hugged him tightly. Yuuri kissed Victor, pushing him back until they sprawled on the ice. Victor banged his head on the ice and inhaled sharply, rubbing his head for a few seconds before cutting off Yuuri’s apologies.

“Yuuri, darling, my sunlight,” Victor murmured, holding Yuuri close, he continued to whisper promises and nonsense. Victor buried his head into Yuuri, feeling like the ice could melt under the weight the life they had here.

.

Yuuri made Victor leave Ice Castle early, promising to continue practicing only if Victor went to sleep early. Victor agreed, between kisses, and Yuuri stayed behind.

When he got home, only his father was up late, and after a quick greeting, Yuuri climbed the stairs slowly, his legs aching from practice. And even without thinking, he slid into Victor’s room, wanting to see him.

Victor and Makkachin were asleep, curled together. And Victor didn’t wake when Yuuri slid into bed, didn’t open his eyes when Yuuri snuggled up into him. He curled forward until his forehead touched Victor’s back, Victor didn’t move, Yuuri reached out and brushed his fingers down Victor’s shoulder. The deep steady breaths continued uninterrupted, only Makkachin acknowledged him with a couple thumps of his tail. Yuuri slept. And was awoken by a slap to his arm. Victor had thrown himself around, slapping Yuuri. _I can’t believe he’s a heavy sleeper,_  Yuuri reached up, and wrapped his arms around Victor, bringing them close together. Victor grumbled something in his sleep and snuggled into Yuuri.

.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Victor murmured, his hand on Yuuri’s cheek, he warmly kissed the hollow between neck and jaw, leaving his mouth to linger. “You’re a light sleeper.”

Yuuri smiled and stretched, Victor still kissed him, trailing down his neck.

“You’re not,” said Yuuri, pulling Victor down to him, “I got into bed and only Makkachin noticed. You were dead. You even smacked me and didn’t wake up.”

Victor chuckled, it was a lazy and satisfied sound. Yuuri pressed his forehead against Victor’s, admiring his eyes, the long lashes. Victor’s gaze was soft and Yuuri wished he could somehow take that with him, if nothing else, that soft gaze on him.

“VICTOR! Do you know where Yuuri-? Oh!” Minako quickly shut the door again, “Sorry!”

Yuuri groaned at the intrusion and sat up, “You can come in, we were just talking.”

Victor laid a hand on Yuuri’s arm, Yuuri bent his knees to his chest.

“Are you sure?” said Minako through the door.

“I’m sure,” and Yuuri’s voice also said that he was annoyed.

Looking smug, Minako came back in, but stayed by the door, she looked at them both carefully. Victor also measured her response, she didn’t look alarmed or angry, she looked infuriatingly pleased with herself.

“Well!” was all Minako said.

“Did you come up here just to be nosy?” Yuuri wasn’t angry, but there was some acidic emotion that tinged his voice, and that Victor couldn’t place.

“No, remember that teaching job I applied for? I got it and I’m leaving January 2nd ,” Minako grinned at Yuuri, “So, what is this all about?”

“Congratulations,” said Yuuri and then turned to Victor, a question in his eyes. Victor took his hand, squeezing his fingers and Yuuri turned back to Minako.

“We’re dating.”

Victor looked at Yuuri, not sure how to react, _if Minako weren’t here, I’d just..._ He tightened his grip on Yuuri’s hand.

Minako grinned wider, “Well look at you two. I’m happy for you.”

Yuuri smiled, but it had a hard edge, “Don’t let them get carried away.”

“No promises!” said Minako and bounded away. Yuuri muttered under his breath.

“Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” Yuuri immediately turned to Victor, “I know I said we’re dating to Minako, and that we slept together, and that you made that pair skate routine, but-“

“But?” Victor arched an eyebrow and Yuuri blushed.

“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t.”

“You didn’t,” Victor rather coolly stared at him, it made Yuuri nervous. “So. I guess this is all happening sort of backwards, Yuuri.” He pushed Yuuri back, pressing his hand on Yuuri’s chest, “Are you _still_ that unsure of me?” Yuuri swallowed hard and shook his head.

Yuuri gathered his courage, “I never liked labels and expectations. I understand what I mean to you, and that’s enough. Isn’t it?”

Victor drew close, hovering over Yuuri, making sure Yuuri couldn’t escape his gaze, “Our visions of your skating routines are at odds. I didn’t choreograph them to be misunderstood.” Yuuri felt like he was swallowing water and air, he took a deep breath as Victor kissed his jaw, sliding wet lips along his neck.

Yuuri considered that, “That’s different. People didn’t understand us. There was no other way to explain.” He closed his eyes as Victor slid his hand down his torso, tracing every rib as if it were his.

“Isn’t that was labels are for? To help people understand that I’m yours? Only yours. My eros routine to make them want you, and _your_ routine to make them understand you. Us.” Victor’s voice pitched low, eliciting a slow shiver from Yuuri.

Victor’s hand crept back up, nails almost scratching Yuuri’s skin, “Am I wrong?”

“No,” breathed Yuuri, a shiver curling over his shoulders, “I wanted everyone to be jealous, to know what I had,” he almost touched Victor’s face in awe, “Your complete attention.”

“You have much more than that, Yuuri. Be with me,” Victor’s voice turned liquid, burning Yuuri, “Officially, for everyone to see.” Victor slid between his legs, holding himself over Yuuri, and rolled his hips down.

Yuuri would have liked to answer in kind, would have loved to tease Victor about exhibitionism, but he shuddered in pleasure, pinned in place.

But Yuuri could only nod and let Victor slowly burn his skin with soft kisses. When Victor pulled away, Yuuri felt boneless.

“Do you want to go downstairs, then?” asked Victor, stretching and satisfied.

“Huh?” Yuuri was still wracked with shivers.

Victor realized what he had done and made Yuuri sit, wrapping comforting arms around him, nuzzling into his neck. Yuuri melted into him, grateful.

“So your parents don’t care that you’re gay?” asked Victor after a few minutes, “Mine really don’t, and for that I’m grateful.”

“Of course they care,” said Yuuri. Victor blinked at him, frowning. Yuuri looked at Victor for a long time, he slid his fingers along Victor’s jaw, “My parents have known I’m gay since high school, I think? That’s when I figured it out. Well.... we sort of figured everything out together.” Yuuri remembered the long and convoluted conversation they had, he grinned at the memory.

“Then why were you mad at Minako?” asked Victor, shifting his legs so Yuuri was cradled between them.

Yuuri sighed, annoyance creeping in again. “My parents are going to be overbearing with you. They’re going to want to bring you into the family.”

Victor smiled, his mouth quirking to the side, “Really?”

Yuuri gave Victor a tired look, “You’ll think it’s cute for a day, and then everyone gets annoyed. Everyone I’ve dated at least.”

“But you said you’d never had a lover!”

Yuuri shrugged, “I’ve never considered anyone-“

Victor groaned and cut him off, “Well you better consider me your lover and your boyfriend, or else!”

Yuuri laughed, “Fine. It’s just that casual lunch dates don’t really count, nor do friends.” Yuuri blushed and cleared his throat, but no matter how much Victor needled him, Yuuri wouldn’t give him a name. “All right, come on, I’m sure my parents have had enough time to gather themselves,” and he left to get ready.

Victor delicately chewed on his lip. _I made that a lot more intense than it needed to be._ Victor shook himself out, and got ready.

Victor waited on the landing, feeling like black lightning was trying to crawl its way out of his mouth when Yuuri came out wearing a shirt Victor liked and took his hand.

\-------------

The breakfast table was set up and both Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki were sitting and waiting, Minako was no where to be seen.

They looked up at their son, and then Victor, and their enlaced fingers.

Yuuri lead Victor to the table and they sat down too.

“Victor and I decided we’re going to date,” said Yuuri. And then Victor lost the thread of conversation as Yuuri and his parents slipped into Japanese too rapidly spoken for Victor to understand. His mother said something, smiling. Yuuri responded quickly, shaking his head. His father spoke for a long time and Yuuri kept nodding. Then both his parents started talking excitedly, Yuuri held out his hand and his throat turned a lovely shade of pink.

He looked at Victor and then spoke English again, “Victor and I just want to get through the Grand Prix for now, we’ll... talk about _that_ another time, okay?”

 His parents looked at one another and shook their heads, Yuuri groaned and covered his eyes, sliding his glasses up to his head.

“Victor,” said Yuuri’s mother, “What do you two have planned for the future? You cannot just date without thinking of that.” Yuuri made embarrassed sounds of disbelief, that his parents ignored.

“Well,” Victor pressed the heels of his palms together, his heart beating so loud in his ears that he was tempted to shout, “I don’t have a lot of experience with long term relationships, but the eventual goal is a long life together, right? That’s what I’m looking forward to.” He looked down at Yuuri who had given up completely and had his head on the table.

They both nodded approvingly and Victor relaxed.

“And what are your parents like?” asked Yuuri’s father, his arms crossed.

 “Dad...” said Yuuri, apparently reviving himself, “You can’t just-”

“Actually,” said Victor, interrupting him “I would like to talk about this...My parents...” Victor swallowed, Yuuri took his hand, covering it.

Victor sighed, heartened by the concerned looks of both Yuuri and his parents, “My parents love me, but they say they don’t care who I date. But I’m pretty sure they meant they don’ want to know,” Victor’s laughter was shaky, “I never thought that it would matter. But... so many things have changed for me. I’m not sure it’s enough anymore.”

 Mrs. Katsuki went around the table and kneeled in front of Victor, turning his chin towards her, looking up into his bowed face, “Victor, we have come to love you for who you are, and who you are to my son. That you wish to make him happy only adds to my affection for you.” She reached up and hugged Victor, enveloping him in her soft embrace, “You will always be welcome here, And if you would like, you can consider it your home. I know that Toshiya and I cannot imagine this place without you anymore. “ She leaned back and wiped Victor’s face with her sleeve, a few tears escaping her too.

Victor felt someone pat his head, “Victor,” Mr. Katsuki said, “No matter how far you two may roam, we will be here. This is your refuge.” He kneeled and hugged Victor briefly.

Victor got up and left, covering his face.

“I wasn’t sure,” said Yuuri hoarsely, “How his parents had treated him.” He reached out and gripped his father’s hand, “Thank you.”

“Oh Yuuri,” said his father, his voice wavering, “What kind of parents would we be if we treated you any differently? That kind of conditional love has no place here. Victor looked so worried as he stood in front of us, it broke my heart.”

Mrs. Katsuki nodded, “Make sure to marry him soon, Yuuri.”

Yuuri chuckled, covering his mouth, “Mom, we _just_ decided to start dating.”

“Think of your future,” insisted Mrs. Katsuki, “Think of your happiness.” She kissed Yuuri’s forehead.

“I have to think of his happiness too,” countered Yuuri.

\----------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I've decided to update this baby (and my other baby too) once a week either thursday or friday.


	14. We're Just Fools, Rushing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: We're Just Fools, Russian?  
> badum tss
> 
> This chapter ran away from me, it's super long. ah well

 

Victor waited to head out until he was sure no one else was going to jump into the pool, not that anyone else would be brave enough to freeze their bits by taking a dip in December. The pool water was cold and bracing, and the city beyond the hotel sparkled for him.

 _The Grand Prix is finally tomorrow, I can’t believe how quickly it all went by._ Victor swam a lazy lap, _Yuuri, I know you’re going to do well, and afterwards... afterwards..._ Victor took a deep breath and let himself float. He thought of Hasetsu, he thought of Ice Castle which in his mind was _our ice rink_ , but mostly Victor thought of Yuuri. He smiled to himself, thinking of the gift he’d bought, the knowledge of that small gift made him want to shout and jump and skate. Victor shivered.

“Ah, I wondered who’d be the idiot in the pool in December. Hey coach Victor.”

Victor turned, and beheld Chris in a black satin bathrobe, loosely tied, he held a bottle of champagne and a glass.

Victor grinned, “Chris, I’m glad to see you.”

Chris came closer, looming over Victor, “Feeling lonely? Where’s your sweet prince?”

“Sleeping, jet lagged.”

“Ah,” Chris sighed and toed the water, “And here I wanted to go skinny dipping.”

Victor lowered his lashes, “Well I won’t stop you. And I’ll even take pictures.”

.

Victor tapped the screen, increasing the lighting and snapped the picture. Chris took a long sip of champagne, and Victor got that too.

“You want one coming out of the water?” Victor shook the towel from his head, letting it fall onto his lap.

“Sure,” Chris slid into the water, “But first some swimming poses.” When he was bored of that, Chris pulled himself out at Victor’s feet and reached for Victor’s towel, curving his back and winking. Victor managed to snap a picture before he started laughing.

“Alright, you’ve got plenty to choose from, I’m freezing, let’s go warm up.”

“Let’s go mess with Yuuri,” said Chris, shrugging into his robe, “It’ll be funny.”

\------------------

“Yuuri,” chattered Victor, stomping his feet, “I’m freezing! I need a hot bath! Why are you still in bed?” He flicked the lights on and scrutinized the sleeping lump.

“A warm body,” said Chris, “Get him!”

Yuuri shrieked as Victor and Chris cuddled up to him. “You are both- assholes,” chattered Yuuri as Victor pressed icy hands to his chest. Chris pulled the covers over them and snuggled up, “I actually got cold too. I hope we don’t get sick.” Victor grinned and shivered, Yuuri’s hands cupping his neck.

“I’m going to run a bath, Victor make some coffee.”

“I don’t want coffee,” said Victor, looping his arms around Yuuri, “Chris, _you_ make coffee.” Yuuri peeled himself away, Victor and Chris teasing him, and headed to the bathroom. Reluctantly, Chris got up. “Do you want coffee, Yuuri?” asked Chris, looking in the bathroom.

“Yes, please.” The water steamed under Yuuri’s fingers. “You’re ice, Victor.” said Yuuri as Victor came into the bathroom and hugged him from behind.

“Hug me,” said Victor, trying not to shiver his teeth out of their sockets.

Yuuri snorted, “Get in, I think the water’s warm enough.”

Chris handed him a steaming cup of coffee when Yuuri came back into the room, “So, what are you two doing tonight? Going out on the town?”

“No idea,” said Yuuri, joining Chris on the bed, they toasted each other with the coffee, “Why?”

“I was just wondering, there’s a cute little theater nearby that does outdoor shows and there’s cafes all around it. Sounds fun right? You two should totally come with me.”

Yuuri smiled, “I’d love to. What time?”

“As soon as I’m ready, so hustle Victor out of there and get ready! See you in ten?” Chris drained his mug and dashed out of the door, briefly yelling into the bathroom so Victor would know he’d left.

“You want to go see theater shows with Chris?” Yuuri leaned on the doorsill of the bathroom.

“You’re letting the steam out, Yuuri.”

“Yes or no?”

“Yes! Now close the door.”

Yuuri snickered and got ready.

Victor emerged pink and warm and accepted the steaming mug of coffee from Yuuri. “Are we leaving now?”

“As soon as you’re ready.”

“Okay, give me a minute.” he sat down and drank some of the coffee, humming.

Yuuri snagged a towel from the bathroom and dried Victor’s hair in between coffee sips.

“You don’t have to,” said Victor, eyes half closed, obviously pleased with the attention.

“I want to,” said Yuuri, he grabbed a comb and sat behind Victor, brushing his hair into place. Victor finished his coffee, “Thanks Yuuri,” and kissed him softly.

Victor dressed in layers and took Yuuri’s hand when they left.

\-----------------

“Keep up Yuri,” snapped Yakov, “You have to check in with us.”

“Why, just do it for me,” Yurio turned and started walking away, typing on his phone and didn’t notice the horde of girls waiting for him. They shrieked and seized him.

Yuri caught Lilia’s eye and swallowed the profanity, he stood still as the fans took pictures of him and with him. Finally, Lilia stepped forward and Yuri pushed the fans away.

“Wow, what a blood bath!” JJ watched the entire exchange, “Let me call an ambulance for you, Yura.” His girlfriend stood beside him, muttering about undisciplined children.

Yurio saw red, “My fans are fine!”

“Ah, sure,” said JJ, “For you. But my fans are more mature, they don’t,” he waved at Yurio’s screeching teenage horde in explanation. “But it’s to be expected,” continued JJ, “especially because you’re so young. I’d forgotten that.”

“What?” Yurio thought he’d heard wrong.

“Hey! Otabek, buddy! Are you going out to eat, come join my beautiful fiancée and me!” JJ swiveled from Yurio abruptly.

 _Kazakhstan skater?_ Yurio turned to look at Otabek, he was tall with a serious face, but Yurio couldn’t ever remember dealing with him before, he must have only recently risen through the ranks.

“No thanks, I have other plans.” said Otabek, he turned to look behind JJ at Yurio.

 _What’s he want?_ Yurio glared at him and turned away.

\-----------------

“Sit in the middle, Yuuri, Victor and I will keep you warm,” teased Chris.

“As long as your hands don’t slide up too high,” said Yuuri, making Victor laugh.

“I would never _dream_ of going above the waist,” said Chris, far more adept than Yuuri at twisting words around. Yuuri laughed and conceded defeat, settling in between Chris and Victor. The performances were lively and Yuuri enjoyed most of the performances, despite Victor’s hand trailing up his thigh and Chris draping a long leg over Yuuri.

“You know what I’ve noticed Chris,” said Yuuri, “Whenever you’re around my friends always gang up on me.”

Chris chuckled, “I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re an instigator,” said Yuuri, slapping his hand on the table they sat at, “You’re always teasing me.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” said Chris stifling his laughter, “I _do_ like seeing you annoyed though.”

“We’d better go, it’s getting late for you two,” said Victor, and they left behind the bright square and the crowds.

\-------------

“I really like Chris a lot,” said Yuuri stepping out of the shower, “He doesn’t know when enough’s enough, but he’s a good friend.”

“I agree,” said Victor, “If we ever got married, I’d ask him to be my best man. You’ll ask Phichit, of course. If the party doesn’t turn into a riot, I’ll be disappointed.”

Yuuri managed to look annoyed and serious while buck naked, “Not you too. First my parents, now you.”

Victor rolled his eyes, “You have to admit that it’s cute they care enough to suggest it.”

Yuuri quickly dressed and started climbing into bed, not looking at Victor. “I guess.”

Victor jumped into bed with him, “So you’re telling me the idea makes you that unhappy?”

Yuuri covered his face with a pillow and clamped his arm over it, “No. Of course not.” His voice was muffled.

Victor sighed and straddled Yuuri, “My love.”

Yuuri slowly dragged the pillow off his face, “That’s unfair.”

“You think so?”

Yuuri blushed and sat up, Victor refused to move. He laid his hands on Yuuri’s arms.

 “Why do you look so upset.”

Yuuri rubbed his knuckles with his lips, “I’m not upset.”

“You sure _look_ upset, is there something about us that makes you uncomfortable?”

“It’s just that we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, and you’re deciding so much, and without me.”

“What does tomorrow have to do with anything,” said Victor, looking hurt, “I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I’ve been thinking of my future and yours, one that could be with you.” Victor stroked Yuuri’s face. “Can you blame me?”

“Of course not, but... you have to be realistic Victor.”

“What part of that isn’t realistic? I just want-“

“Sometimes even wanting is too much.” said Yuuri sharply, and to his dismay Victor smiled.

“Yuuri, my Yuuri. Always a pessimist,” Victor pulled on Yuuri’s arms until he was in Victor’s embrace, Victor buried his head into Yuuri’s shoulder, “ What more do you want from me? Yuuri? I don’t know what else to give you.”

“You’ve given me everything, Victor. I just don’t want you to-”

Victor grabbed Yuuri’s face, pulling him close, “To what? To have a chance at real happiness?”

“I’m not-“ And Yuuri stopped, the denial drying up on his lips because he had been happy, was happy, and to deny that would be like spitting in Victor’s face. _I’m not that great, I’m not that amazing._ Those thoughts stopped, smashing themselves to pieces against the reality of he and Victor. “I’m sorry. I am happy, incredibly happy, but I-“

“Ssh, okay, alright.” Victor didn’t want to hear any more denials, “Just tell me one thing. You love me.”

“So much that it hurts. You know this.”

“Okay, then keeping that in mind... Why are you so against being with me after this?”

“I’m not,” said Yuuri, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder, he leaned back and took a deep breath, “You know something?” He wiped away phantom tears.

“What?” Victor took Yuuri’s glasses off and laid them aside.

“I miss seeing you skate.”

“You see me skate at our rink every day.”

“Ah. No I meant in competitions,” sniffed Yuuri, “Can we go to sleep now?”

“That’s random,” said Victor as they climbed under the sheets, “What made you think of that?”

“I’ve been thinking about that for a while, actually,” said Yuuri, hugging Victor to him.

“Have you really?” asked Victor softly. But Yuuri had either fallen asleep, or refused to answer.

.

“Push your hip out more,” said Victor with a wink as Yuuri skated close. The official rink for Barcelona was crowded with other competitors.

“Anymore and I’ll be thrusting at the audience,” said Yuuri, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He wiped his face off with a towel.

“True,” mused Victor, “We don’t want an orgy on the ice.”

“Don’t be crude, Victor!” said Yuuri, throwing his sweaty towel at Victor. “Oh, don’t look now, here comes a fan,” murmured Yuuri. He leaned on the rink wall, laying his arms over Victor’s.

Victor didn’t turn, instead leaning forward as well, bumping heads with Yuuri, “Someone you dislike? Or someone you’re jealous of?”

“The first,” said Yuuri, “definitely.”

“How’s practice going, Victor?” JJ stepped onto the ice near them, his own coach trying to get him to focus.

“Very good, uh... JJ.” said Victor as if uncertain of JJ’s name. Yuuri skated away, coughing loudly to keep from laughing.

“What’s that asshole want,” Yurio approached Yuuri on the ice, staring at Victor and JJ, he turned back to Yakov who had started yelling, “Give me a minute, Yakov! A _minute!_ ”

“How should I know,” asked Yuuri, “Why are you so hung up on JJ? Does he intimidate you that much?”

“He doesn’t intimidate me!” yelled Yurio.

“Sure, go on and tell the _entire_ rink how you really feel,” Yuuri skated away, still facing Yurio.

Yurio followed him, growling. “You never told me what you and Victor argued about weeks ago. I _helped_ you and you never even told me what it was about.”

“Oh,” Yuuri looked at Yurio. Really looked, _no, he wouldn’t react well to something like that. Victor’s still some untouchable skater to him, despite everything._ “ You know Victor and how he is.” Yuuri stretched his arms, feigning disinterest.

“Victor was just being dramatic?” Yurio asked suspiciously, speeding up to catch Yuuri.

Yuuri shrugged, “Something like that,” He grinned to himself as they came to a stop before Yakov, “Here you go Yakov, I brought your Yuri back.” He turned to Yurio, “Don’t make this harder for Yakov, tomorrow is an important day.”

“Why you-“

“Profanity,” said Yuuri lightly, and skated away, leaving Yurio steaming. Yakov hid his smile behind a hand.

.

“Well, I’m as prepared as possible, see you all tomorrow!” JJ announced, waving grandly.

“Ah, I’m done too,” admitted Yuuri, “What do you think, coach?”

Victor nodded, “I recommend a light lunch and a good night’s rest. You need to be at your best for tomorrow.”

Yuuri used Victor for stability as he put on his guards, “Oh really? After almost a year of trying to get me to go out with you, now you want a quiet night in?” Yuuri wrinkled his nose at Victor and smiled. Victor grinned back, “Feeling saucy? Well, what does the prince want to do then?”

“Let’s go sight seeing. I’ve never visited Barcelona.”

“Don’t worry about a thing, I’ll arrange everything while you get ready.”

\--------------------------------

“Why would you leave me? Did you not see the zombie horde waiting for me outside?” hissed Yuri into his cellphone. He wore a hood up, but he knew the obsessive fans would recognize him in a second. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn his usual jacket.

Mila sounded bored, “Well I’m too far away to walk back and pick you up, I’m out to lunch with others. Her voice changed, “Actually, if you can stay at the hotel, I can have someone pick you up in a minute. Yuri? Yuri?”

Furious, Yurio hung up and made a dash for the door. He ran down the street, taking turns at random.

“Damn it,” he hid in the shadow of a doorway, _I don’t want to deal with them. Go away! Go away!_ But he could hear the excited fans calling for him, as if it were some game.

He was startled by the revving of a motorcycle, “Get on, Yuri.”

“Altin?” Yuri caught the helmet in his hands, “What do you want?”

“Mila told me to find you,” said Otabek, “Time’s up. You coming or not?”

Yuri pulled the helmet on and climbed onto the motorcycle.

The sun was starting to set when Otabek lead him up to a park with a ledge overlooking the city.

“I don’t remember that,” said Yuri when Otabek mentioned Yakov’s summer camp.

“Of course not,” said Otabek, “I was only there for a summer before I gave up on ballet. But I remember you. You were so intense, I admired that.” Otabek stared out to the city.

“You thought that about me?” Yuri thought back to those grueling training camps, “I don’t remember speaking to you.”

“I doubt that even if I tried, you’d have spoken back,” said Otabek, a smile flickering and disappearing quickly.

Yuri gave a short laugh, “Probably. At that time I’d just moved to St. Petersburg from my home. I wasn’t really in the mood for anyone, those few years were hell.”

Otabek turned towards Yuri, “You didn’t give up though, and here you are.”

“I decided that until I was good enough, I wasn’t allowed to complain about anything. About the training, about the city, about moving, about my circumstances.” Yurio clamped his mouth shut, afraid he’d said too much.

“I travelled for a long time too, working without complaining, finally I felt like I’d gotten good enough to return home. I’m here to make my country proud by winning the GP.”

Yurio huffed. “Why are you talking to me Otabek, I’m competition. We’re rivals.”

Otabek grew more serious, “I could see the determination in your eyes. We’re similar in that way.”

“That’s it?” scoffed Yuri.

“Why do you need more?” Otabek pushed away from the ledge, “So. Are we friends or not?”

Yuri was stunned, but he held his hand out and gripped Otabek’s in a warm shake.

“Want to grab some tea?”

\--------------

The ruins made Yuuri and Victor feel small and very young, but there were a lot of nooks in which to steal kisses and the occasional squeeze. “It feels hot in here,” said Victor, keeping himself pressed against Yuuri, but breaking their kiss, he puffed hot air against Yuuri’s neck. Breathing heavily, Yuuri laughed and pushed Victor away until he had enough space to straighten his shirt and button his coat back up. From the ruins they wandered to the more modern buildings that attracted tourists and photographers. “Let’s take a picture in front of this one!” Victor snagged Yuuri, pulling him in close, “Oh, ma’am, can you please take our picture?”

“I’ve heard Phichit talking about paella, so let’s get that for lunch. It has shrimp in it.” said Yuuri, scrolling through the photos they’d taken. Victor had his arm around Yuuri, making sure he didn’t run into anyone.

“I love shrimp!”

“I know,” said Yuuri, “There’s a restaurant not far from here.”

The paella turned out to be a giant pan with rice, vegetables and shrimp. It was delicious and they ate until they couldn’t think.

“What next?” asked Yuuri, the golden afternoon light warmed the air outside.

“Hmm,” Victor frowned, “Well I thought you’d be tired by now so I’m not sure. There’s a shopping district nearby.”

Yuuri jumped, “A shopping district? Okay.” _I might be able to find something there for him._

.

Victor spun happily after making sure Yuuri collapsed onto a bench with all of his shopping bags. “I love shopping! I’m having so much fun. But you haven’t chosen _anything_.” Victor frowned at him.

Yuuri held out his hand, feeling tired, “I’m fine, as long as you’re having fun. I don’t care.”

Victor stood over him, nudging Yuuri’s knees with his own, “You’ve never wanted to sight-see before. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” said Yuuri quickly and Victor huffed.

“Well, you should get at least one thing to remember Barcelona by.”

Yuuri shrugged, suddenly becoming very interested in something over Victor’s shoulder.

“I’m going to buy you a suit,” said Victor, suddenly serious, “I hate your old suit. And a better white button down, one that’s stain resistant.” He hauled Yuuri upright.

“Why do I need a stain resistant shirt?”

Victor eye-balled him, but didn’t respond as he dragged Yuuri down the road.

.

“I don’t _care_ about the stupid nuts,” said Victor for what felt like the tenth time, “Forget about them. The shops closed by now anyway.”

“No,” said Yuuri stubbornly, not wanting to mar the evening, “We’ve only looked in two places.”

“I don’t want to be dragged around the entirety of Barcelona, Yuuri.” Victor dug his heels in, yanking Yuuri to a stop. “You’re probably tired by now, right? Let’s just head back to the hotel.” Victor gave him that glassy smile that Yuuri instantly recognized.

“I’m not tired,” said Yuuri, “And you _don’t_ have to say it like that.”

“But _I’m_ tired,” countered Victor, in the same voice and with that same hard smile

“Fine,” said Yuuri, “Let’s start heading back.”  But as they were walking in silence back to the hotel, Yuuri grabbed his arm, having spotted an outdoor Christmas market.

“Let’s go there.”

“But I’m tired,” said Victor, petulant.

But Yuuri wasn’t listening anymore, “Here, I’ll carry the bags then,” and took the rest of the shopping bags from Victor.

“That’s not what I meant,” said Victor as Yuuri grabbed his hand and dragged him into the market.

“Are you looking for something in particular?” Victor’s annoyance was dissipating under the fairy lights and cheerful crowd. Yuuri was frantically searching up and down the stalls and boutiques.

“Ah, yes.” said Yuuri absently. He stopped abruptly and a blush tinged his face. He looked at Victor, “Can you wait for me, look here’s a bench.”

Bemused, Victor sat and Yuuri piled the shopping bags on top of him. He ran off into what looked like a jewelry store.

Finally, Yuuri came back, not with a dainty jewelry bag, but with two sugar-coated pastries topped with what looked like honey.

“What? You didn’t even buy anything for yourself from that jewelry store?” asked Victor, indignant, “I just sat here for 30 minutes-“ Yuuri cut him off with a kiss on the cheek.

“Here, I thought you might be hungry,” Yuuri sat down next to him.

Victor took a bite, he chewed for a long time and finally admitted, “It’s good.” They ate in silence.

Victor slouched against Yuuri and was comforted when Yuuri wrapped an arm around him.

“Victor, can we go see one more building, and then I promise we can go back to the hotel.”

“Of course.”

\-------------

The night was cold, but they stood close, their breaths framing the air around them.

“I want to give this to you, Victor, as a symbol of what you’ve brought to my life,” began Yuuri, sounding formal and serious. Victor’s gaze flickered down to Yuuri’s clasped hands and back up to his face. Yuuri peeled Victor’s right glove off and Victor felt himself stop breathing for a few seconds. _You are not!_ Victor couldn’t stop his hand from shaking.

“You’ve been a guiding me towards happiness, both on and off the ice.  I want you to remember this perfectly, I want you to remember us, here.”

Victor tipped his head down, brushing Yuuri’s cheek, “Yuuri.”

“I love you, I love you, and I want you to promise to never forget that. Never.” He searched Victor’s gaze. Yuuri took in a shaky breath.

He took Victor’s hand and opened his palm, “Never forget what I feel for you.” He slid a golden ring on Victor’s finger.” Victor sucked in a deep breath.

“I promise you that I’ll always love you,” said Victor, looking at Yuuri in wonder.

Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor, holding him closely, “I want you to understand that you came into my life at a point where I wasn’t sure if I had anything more to give, if I had run out of myself. With you, I realized that we’re constantly being remade, and that I can take advantage of that to make my dreams come true, and that sometimes our dreams go beyond us.” Yuuri gave Victor a wry smile, “Intentionally or not.”

Victor kept his hands on Yuuri’s chest, the ring glimmered like molten sunlight, like devotion made tactile. Yuuri was grinning broadly, pleased with himself. Victor kissed Yuuri’s neck, and felt Yuuri shift his arms, to bring Victor in closer.

“How dare you, Yuuri.” Victor gently pounded on Yuuri’s chest.

“Huh?”

“How absolutely dare you. Who do you think you are?” Victor reached up to squish Yuuri’s soft face, that had never chiseled into granite no matter how much he exercised, that remained soft and warm and unassuming. “I can’t believe you would do this to me, how _dare_ you upstage me? Again!” Yuuri giggled, letting Victor indignantly caress him.

“What are you talking about?” Yuuri let Victor kiss him warmly, lips making loud smacking noises, Victor continued to berate him.

“I’m talking about you, Yuuri, and that you always manage to inspire me.” He brought Yuuri’s right hand to his lips, kissing his fingers.

“Look,” and in Victor’s hand there was also a gold ring.

Yuuri laughed, his arm falling to Victor’s lower back.

“I want you to accept this ring, Yuuri, knowing that I wouldn’t have kept my love for life, my love for this sport, and that indefinable feeling of awe and appreciation, without you. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from you in this past year, it’s that I know that alone I can only do so much. But with you,” he tapped Yuuri’s nose, “I’m constantly made aware of how much more I can do, how much more there is.”

 Yuuri touched Victor’s chin, “I understand.

“Good,” said Victor, his lips against Yuuri’s, “I was hoping you would.” Yuri watched Victor’s face as Victor slid the finger onto his finger.

They remained at the cathedral for a while longer, listening to the carolers and staring at each other’s hands.

“Let’s go find somewhere to eat,” said Yuuri.

“Mm, nah. I’ve got plenty to eat right here,” Victor nipped Yuuri’s neck.

“Don’t,” laughed Yuuri, bending his neck to prevent Victor from biting him, “Aren’t you hungry?”

“A little, I guess.”

\-------------

“Oh look! It’s Mari and Minako!” Yuuri waved at them and yelped when they both threw themselves at him.

“We need a favor!”

“A huge favor.”

“Look!” Mari steered Yuuri to the window of a coffeehouse.

Yuuri looked and grinned, then he frowned at his sister. “So? What about it?”

“You dummy!” Mari shook Yuuri, “You have to get us in there!”

“Forget it,” said Yuuri flatly, “I’m not your connection to-“ Mari was already dragging Victor away.

“Brothers,” griped Mari, “Never a help. But you’ll help.”

“With what?” asked Victor bewildered, but he allowed Mari to drag him to the doors of the coffeehouse.

“You have to get us at the same table as Yurio and that hottie!”

“Otabek? I doubt he’d want to talk with you or me. He’s rather recalcitrant.” Victor looked over at Yuuri who shrugged at him.

“Then Yurio is the weak link. Talk to him.”

It dawned on Victor what Mari was asking for, “Ah! I get it. But you’d have better luck if Yuko were here, or if Yuuri agrees to play along.”

“You’re right,” growled Mari, “Nikiforov, convince Yuuri for me.”

Yuuri scowled, “Victor, don’t listen to her.”

“Do it!” said Mari to Victor, “Or I’ll make you regret it.” Victor had a sudden flash of understanding what it must be like to have a commanding older sister.

He turned back to Yuuri and Minako. “Yuuri, it’s just dinner. Why would they refuse.”

Yuuri glared at Mari, “How could-“

“It’s just dinner!” snarled Mari.

“Hoo boy, come over here Nikiforov. You don’t want to get between them when they argue.” Minako looped her arm through Victor’s as Yuuri and Mari reverted to Japanese to argue.

“What are they saying?” asked Victor, unable to parse the argument. Yuuri looked animated and furious, Mari was blushing and jabbing Yuuri’s chest. Victor tapped on his cellphone sending a group message.

“What are you doing,” Minako asked instead.

“Hoping Yuuri doesn’t break up with me,” answered Victor, “We _literally_ just... well nevermind.” Minako squinted at Victor who’d turned pink.

The cafe doors opened, Otabek and Yuri walked out. Otabek looked at them, “Yuri. Isn’t that-?”

Yurio’s face instantly closed, his eyebrows low. “What are you all doing here?”

Yuuri and Mari instantly stopped arguing.

Victor stepped forward with Minako on his arm, “We’re headed to dinner at an outdoor restaurant. Care to join us?”

Otabek nodded, “Sure. You coming Yuri, or should I drop you off at the hotel?”

“No,” said Yurio sharply, “I’m going to.”

\-----------------

“Yuuri!” Phichit patted the spot next to him.

Yuuri glanced at Victor who avoided his gaze to bury his face into a menu.

Chris was also there, he and Phichit had been comparing pictures.

“Who are these lovely ladies?” asked Chris, favoring Minako and Mari with a smile.

“My older sister Mari and my mentor Minako,” said Yuuri, relenting. Victor passed the menu to Yuuri.

“Let’s all order food,” said Victor as a waiter walked by.

“Otabek and Yuri, it’s nice to finally meet you like this, have you had fun in Barcelona so far?” Phichit was being as charming as he could while Chris spoke with Minako and Mari. Yuuri noticed Otabek was actually taking an interest in Phichit, Yurio glared at him and started typing on his phone.

YURIO: What the fuck, why are we all here?”

YUURI: IDEK. Mari and Minako are to blame, if you want to blame someone you’re welcome to try and yell at them. I already tried.

YURIO: They’re your family, you’re the one responsible for them!

YUURI: I think Victor invited Phichit and Chris, I certainly didn’t

YURIO: FUCK, I can yell at him though.

YUURI: profanity. Please do. Also, what is up with you and Otabek?????

YURIO: We’re friends.

YUURI: But you’ve never spoken to him before???

YURIO: What are you talking about? I’ve known him for five years.

YUURI: No, you haven’t.

YURIO: It’s rude to have your phone out while at dinner, pig.

\--------------

Dinner arrived and everyone dug in. Passing the plates around.

Yuuri and Phichit expertly tossed olives at one another, laughing. Chris and Victor ordered a pitcher of beer which only Otabek accepted a glass from.

“You don’t drink a lot, do you Otabek?” Yurio asked, piling his plate with vegetables and shrimp.

“Not really, but it seemed rude to decline,” said Otabek holding his hand out for Chris to stop pouring. Yurio looked at Chris and Victor who were on their second glass of beer. His eyes slid over to Yuuri who was drinking juice.

“Good,” said Yurio savagely.

“Aren’t you glad we’re all having dinner?” asked Victor, taking a drink of his beer.

“And we can ham it up again at the banquet again, right Yuuri?” exclaimed Chris. Yurio snorted.

“Ah?” Yuuri looked confused, “Well I didn’t really talk to anyone at the banquet last year, so I hope this year is more fun,” said Yuuri, chuckling,” I don’t even think I spoke to you, Victor.”

Victor spat beer all over himself. “What are you talking about?!” Otabek handed Victor a handful of napkins.

Huh?”

“Yuuri, what are you talking about?” Victor wiped himself off hurriedly.

“I...” Yuuri looked from Victor to Chris. Everyone was staring at him.

Chris quirked his head, “You... don’t remember... Oh boy... You got drunk off of champagne, then challenged everyone to a dance off. Then you got completely smashed off a bottle of Brut which you refused to share with anyone. We pole danced. Tell me you remember that? I was basically naked except for a tie and my underwear.”

“WHAT?” Yuuri felt his blood run cold.

“Yeah, it was gross as hell, both of you were basically naked,” said Yurio, “You even forced _me_ to a dance off, and I made a complete fool of myself. It was the worst day ever.”

Yuuri, covered his mouth, ashamed.

“Actually,” said Victor, “I have pictures.” Yuuri squeaked.

“Oh yeah, me too. No way I was going to not get pictures. Our pole dancing was divine, Yuuri.” Chris fluttered his eyelashes.

Yuuri squeaked again and sank into his chair as Victor leaned over to show Otabek the pictures.

“He’s a good dancer.” Otabek appraising Yuuri’s drunken shenanigans.

“Oh yes!” said Victor, “Especially ballroom was fun! He’s a fantastic lead.”

“I personally enjoyed the pole dancing more, I’m not great at ballroom, but I’m a great pole dancer when I get frisky.”

“Oh my God Yuuri,” Phichit was grinning at him between ogling the banquet pictures, “You said you wouldn’t ever use those classes.”

“Apparently I was drunk!”

“Ah,” said Mari, “You never could control yourself. Just like dad.” Yuuri turned a shade darker.

“Let me see those pictures, Chris!” Mari leaned over Chris, laughing, “I bet Takeshi would pay good money for this!”

“Don’t you dare!” snarled Yuuri, still looking mortified. Mari stuck her tongue out at him.

Chris smiled warmly at Yuuri, “Don’t worry, Yuuri, no one’s going to put these up on the internet. Victor made us all promise.”

“Ah, okay,” Yuuri collapsed back into his chair, covering his face.

“Soooo...” Chris fluttered his eyelashes,” I can’t help but notice....Yuuri, Victor, what’s up with those matching gold rings?”

The conversation died down almost instantly.

Victor held his hand out, “Aren’t they beautiful! Yuuri jumped the gun on me, but what can you do, right?”

Otabek nodded solemnly.

Phichit stood and shrieked, “I can’t believe you got married!”

“Wait, Stop!” Yuuri desperately grabbed Phichit and hung on, but Phichit steam rolled right over him and started clapping, then he turned to the other customers.

“EVERYONE! CAN I HAVE YOU ATTENTION?? My best friend just got married!! Please congratulate him!” Phichit clapped like a maniac. And the rest of the restaurant politely clapped along, some people wolf whistled and cat called.

“NO! You’ve got it all wrong! I’m not married,” sputtered Yuuri, “I wouldn’t just- The competition is tomorrow! And it’s not like- I can’t believe you’d all just believe-“ Nothing made sense, Yuuri felt like a train wreck as he tried to make Phichit shut up. Chris was cheering and Otabek was clapping politely, Yurio looked furious. Minako and Mari...Yuuri kept his gaze away from them.

“Okay, okay. Thank you for the well wishes, but we really aren’t married,” said Victor, “These are engagement rings. We’ll get married once Yuuri wins gold. Right? Yuuri?” Victor winked at him.

Yuuri choked as everyone at the table grew serious.

“Aha! So this is where you’ve all been hiding!” Yuuri flinched, backing into the table as JJ started shouting behind him. Yuuri sat down as JJ continued to shout.

“Well tonight’s been fun, but I’ve got to get my ass to bed,” said Chris, abruptly standing up. Yuuri dimly heard him and everyone’s chairs scraped as they got up too. Victor took his hand and lead him outside.

Minako and Mari waited until they were outside of the restaurant to pounce.

“I can’t believe it! Congratulations!” yelled Minako, crushing Yuuri and then Victor in a hug.

“Me neither, I didn’t think you’d actually do it, Yuuri.” Mari was grinning at them both.

Yuuri hugged Mari. “Bring it in here, Nikiforov, you’re a Katsuki now too.” Victor grinned and hugged Mari too.

“I’ve got to say, you made quite a spectacle of yourself, Yuuri.”

Yuuri groaned at his sister’s tone of voice.

“But,” said Mari, softening her tone, “If that was the reason this Russian landed on our doorstep then, I’m glad. Well good night you two.”

Minako hugged Yuuri tightly, “We need to have a long heart to heart, sweetheart.”

“Yes, okay.” said Yuuri smiling.

.

Victor took his hand, fingers running over the ring, “Yuuri...”

“Mm?”

Victor sighed and pulled Yuuri into a hug, “Promise me we’ll talk about this, the rings, for real after the GP.”

“Uh...”

“Promise me.” Victor wasn’t asking. “You don’t have to make a decision, I’m just asking for a conversation. For some of your time.” He pulled Yuuri in closer, “Your time, Yuuri.”

“You can have all of it,” mumbled Yuuri, “You don’t even have to ask.”

“But I really think I do.” said Victor, pressing his lips to Yuuri’s jaw, “Thank you.”

 

 

 

 


	15. Famous Last Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you thought i wasn't gonna write this scene u were sorely mistaken
> 
>  [BEAUTIFUL INSPO](http://vyctornikiforov.tumblr.com/post/157129005085)

 

“And how do you feel after having kept your record straight?” asked Chris innocently. Victor sighed in relief at Chris’ appearance.

Victor smiled brightly, grabbing Chris’ hand to congratulate him. “I knew you had it in you. Maybe next year you’ll close in on me?”

“Someday, I’ll get close enough to bite that ass,” said Chris crisply, “And then maybe I’ll surpass you too.” Victor leans back, tittering lightly. Chris excused himself as Yakov comes up, looking for all intents and purposes like a proud and very grumpy father. Victor took another sip of champagne.

[How much longer do I have to stay? There are nice fans outside the hotel I can actually take pictures with.] Although few other people speak Russian, Victor keeps his voice quiet.

Sympathetically, Yakov answered, [Not long, Vitya. Are you okay? You look....] Yakov makes a face, unsure how to continue and Victor understands. He takes a deep breath and loosens his shoulders, it’s true he’d been feeling tired, but disappointing Yakov was something Victor did _not_ do. Enrage, exasperate, scare? Yes, yes, yes to everything else, but disappoint? No. [I just need a second, Chris....]

Yakov’s sigh is more of a growl than anything, [What now with him? He still...]

[No no!] assures Victor, [It’s probably the champagne.]

Immediately, Yakov tears the glass from Victor’s hands, [Well don’t continue drinking it!]

Victor’s patience runs out, [I’ll be outside. I have to take a breath.]

And the night air _is_ cool on his cheeks, Victor takes a breath and exhales, stretching his arms out.

“Any longer and you’d look like a swan.” The slurred voice says, “Congratulations on gold.”

Victor flinches at the first comment and relaxes on the second, he knows what to do with both the compliment and the congratulations. Although the accent is hard to place at first, “Ah... Yuuri Katsuki, right?”

Yuuri Katsuki nods and tips an empty glass of champagne at him, Victor realizes that the competitor who imploded a couple days ago is drunk, and by the glasses littering where he’s sitting, is quickly going on his way to being roaring, black out drunk.

Victor leans back on the balustrade, “You’re upset about fucking up at the GPF.”

Yuuri nods miserably and Victor laughs, making Yuuri flush scarlet with embarrassment.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. You would have done good if you’d just pull it together, somehow.” Victor flaps his hands, “I admire the way you put your step sequences together. You jumps.... Well, everyone has their weak points, you know?”

Yuuri scoffs and stands up, now clutching two empty champagne glasses, “Do you _ever_ think about anything other than skating? Don’t you ever get bored of yourself? This is a _party._ ” He sways. And Victor thinks that he’s swaying from the drink, but he realizes that Yuuri is swaying in time to the music from inside the banquet hall.

Victor ignores the swaying and frowns because it’s something that had been bugging him too. He also realizes that the snappish remarks aren’t really for him, but Yuuri’s own ill humor at himself, and he’s about to inform Katsuki of the fact, but says instead. “But it’s all I know. Most of what I know.”

Yuuri laughs and Victor realizes he’s good looking, if in a not-striking kind of way, and especially not now, his hideous tie loosened, and his jacket rumpled, looking crushed by his defeat.

“Of course it is,” said Yuuri over his shoulder as he walks back inside, “It’s why we all worship you.” And he has the audacity to wink back at him.

Victor laughed, deciding on a whim that he liked Yuuri’s ill temper. It suited him better than the pathetic moroseness of a few seconds ago. “Yuuri Katsuki, how is it we’ve never spoken before?”

“Mm, I’m too shy.” said Yuuri, distracted, “Oh! There she is, excuse me, I promised someone a dance.” Astonished, Victor watches Yuuri tear _Sarah Crispino_ away from her brother into a hilariously formal dance considering Yuuri is _still_ holding those two champagne glasses and his tie is so ugly Victor thinks it offends him.

After managing to waltz Sarah out of her brother’s grasp and across the room, Yuuri tries to go and find Celestino, ready to leave _now_. But Celestino’s deep in discussion with someone else, so Yuuri goes to find some food or water. Vaguely he recognizes that he hassled Victor, but his drunken blood shrugs it off and tells him to find food _now_.

........

“I can’t believe he came,” muttered Yuri holding a cup of soda.

“Who are you looking at?” Victor came over and stood behind Yuri, staring out over the crowd.

“The Japanese skater.”

Victor shrugged, “Yuuri? Why?”

Yuri snorted, “He’s weak,” and turned back to the conversation that was going on behind them.

“Weak points,” amends Victor, “not weak- Oh, hello.” Chris approached him again, grinning. Victor chatted with him for a while before moving on.

The women’s skater from Spain grinned impudently at Victor, “So what kind of magic are you planning for next year?”

Victor shrugged and grinned as he took a sip of his drink, “I have several themes I’m looking at, but I haven’t really decided yet.”

“I’m dying to know what it’ll be, this year was fantastic.”

“As always.” said Victor, smug, he tipped his glass to her in salute, “So I’ll have to work extra hard and come up with something...different.”

.

“Ugh, what is he _doing_?”

Victor turned at Yuri and saw what he meant. Yuuri was dancing with Mila now, laughing and somehow managing to make her laugh too. His shirt was halfway unbuttoned and Mila wasn’t being sneaky either. Her hand frequently reached out to touch him.

“Victor, come meet-“ Yakov’s words were cut off as the music got louder, Victor nodded, understanding what Yakov meant and walked away from Yuri who was watching the dance floor with disgust and fascination. The DJ chose another song that was fun and fast. Mila pointed out, bringing Yuuri Katsuki’s attention to where Yuri stood. And to Yuri’s shock, Katsuki grinned like a wolf.

.

Mila said, “Oh, Yuri is _always_ yelling. Don’t feel bad about that. Hah!” She leapt aside, laughing as Yuuri spun to where she’d been seconds before. She ran a light hand over Yuuri’s collar bone, he raised an eyebrow and shimmied an inch away from her, Mila’s hand fell.

“He was awful!” laughed Yuuri, “Especially because I’d been crying!” He snagged another flute of champagne for himself and Mila, they toasted and drained the glasses.

“I believe it,” said Mila rolling her eyes, “He’s a piece of work. But who wasn’t at that age and with so much pressure? Besides! If he’s threatening you then isn’t that a good sign?” She hopped to one side and Yuuri followed her lead, feeling dizzy and giddy. They were shouting, as more and more people started to dance. The music pulsed through Yuuri’s sternum as he gracefully twirled.

“I suppose that explains some of it,” snickered Yuuri, “He’s so little though!”

“I know!” Mila cackled and glanced over, “Oooh, crazy idea!”

“Huh?” Yuuri took her hand and they spun around a few times, in rhythm to the music.

“I have a crazy idea!” shouted Mila, cupping her hands over her mouth.

“Spill it Ms. Mila Russia!” said Yuuri mimicking her, she spun once, breathless.

“Well Mr. Yuuri Japan....You should totally, _totes_ ,” she giggled, “challenge him to a dance off!”

Yuuri was drunk, but he wasn’t sure about this plan. Mila snagged a flute of champagne for herself, sipped it but grimaced, she handed it to Yuuri who absently threw it back.

“I don’t know...”

“It’ll be hilarious. I can provoke him! You’re such a good dancer! Do it! Do it!” she chanted, “He won’t know what to make of it. He’ll be _so_ confused.”

That decided it. “All right Ms. Mila Russia. You provoke him first and then I’ll swoop in for the kill.” She held out her pinky and Yuuri shook it, grinning. He stepped out of the throng of dancers and looked for water, he found some and drank deeply.

“You sure are livening up this party, Christophe Giacometti. Do you have IG?”

Yuuri switched the cup in his hands so he could shake Christophe’s hand, “Yes, but I don’t really use it. Katsuki Yuuri.”

“No?” Christophe looked disappointed, “And you look like you’d have a lot of fun photos to share.” He filled Yuuri’s empty cup with liquor from some bottle he’d gotten, he filled his own cup to the brim. “Cheers, Katsuki Yuuri!”

“Just Yuuri is fine. Cheers,” mumbled Yuuri and the liquor burned his throat, he gasped, nostrils flaring, “It’s strong.”

Chris shrugged, “Care to dance?”

“Oh,” Yuuri remembered why Mila had run off, “Actually...”

That Russian punk was stomping over to him, looking furious with a grinning Mila in tow. Yuuri snorted and tipped his half empty cup towards Yuri Plisetsky.

“I’m sorry, but I’m already spoken for.” He drained the cup, measuring the way Yuri stalked towards him.

“This ought to be interesting,” said Christophe, “What’s this all about?”

“Pride,” said Yuuri and held out his cup for Christophe to fill again, “Thank you Christophe.”

“Call me Chris, and whatever is about to happen, good luck.”

.

“You me, dance off, now.” snarled Yuri.

Mila was holding in her laughter, Yuuri drained his cup and nodded, “What kind of dancing can you do, Yuri from Russia?”

Yuri curled his lip, “I doubt you’ll be able to keep up, but break dancing.”

“Okay,” Yuuri nodded, he noticed his cup was somehow full of liquor again, he drained it, not even feeling the alcohol anymore. “Wait here for me.”

“What? _You_ can break dance?”

But Yuuri was already walking over to the DJ and speaking with them.

“What’s going on?” Victor had managed to leave Yakov’s side and tapped Mila on the shoulder.

Mila giggled, “It’s Yuri versus Yuri! The dance off!” She did jazz hands.

Yuri ground his teeth as Yuuri came back to them.

“Oh, have you met Victor, Yuuri Japan?” asked Mila, hopping up and down.

“Oh yes, Mila Russia! I sassed him out on the balcony,” said Yuuri. Mila pretended to be scandalized and they both cracked up.

“Nevertheless, Yuuri Japan,” said Victor to the clearly gone Yuuri, “I’m Victor Russia.”

“It’s too late,” said Yuuri, pretending to be sad, “I already know you’re Victor Nikiforov.” Mila _‘oohed’_ at Victor who laughed nervously.

“Ah well,” and for some reason, Victor felt put out by not being included in Mila and Yuuri’s cheerful teasing, “What’s going on here exactly?”

Yuuri remembered and strode out to the dance floor, shooing the crowd aside. The music abruptly cut off and changed.

“Let’s go!” He motioned the crowd to part for them, flushing red Yuri followed him onto the dance floor.

Victor pulled out his phone for pictures. “Are _you_ friends with him, Chris?”

“Nope, but he seems like a riot and I’m definitely going to strip for him, if he wants me.”

Mila guffawed, her cheeks blowing out, “I don’t think so Chris. You’re _not_ his type.” And ran after the two Yuris. Victor hung back with Chris. Astonished, Chris and Victor watched her run after the Yuris.

“Do _you_ have a nickname? Chris Swiss?” Victor swirled his cup of water as if it were wine.

If Chris hadn’t known better he’d say that Victor sounded hurt by not getting a nickname, “No. Me neither. What do you care anyway?”

“You have to admit he’s handsome,” said Victor.

“Objectively speaking, nice ass.” agreed Chris, “Oh look, they’re starting.”

Yuri started with some complex movements, but Yuuri quickly outdoes him, spinning and flipping around from hands to feet. They leapt into the air, laughing, Yuuri egging Yuri on.

“Like this Yuri Russia! Like this!” Yuuri leapt through the air, skidded on his knees across the dancefloor and finished with a flourish. He quickly raced back, throwing himself upside down, posing for everyone, his shirt hanging open. He flipped right side up, stumbling and giggling, and found himself face to face with Victor.

“Oh! _You_! Do you dance?” Yuuri’s eyes sparkled with alcohol and exertion, his accent was thicker, barely understandable English.

“It’s impressive you can keep your balance,” said Victor instead, “You’re like _so_ gone, aren’t you?” Victor was laughing at him, but Yuuri didn’t care.

“So gone,” agreed Yuuri, “Do you _dance?_ ” He waved at the floor, but Yuri yanked him back and Victor didn’t have a chance to respond.

Victor and Mila and Chris cheered them on, whooping and laughing. Three songs later, Yuri gave up, he’d tossed his jacket aside, which Victor caught. Yuri held his hand out, and Yuuri laughed triumphantly, he crowned himself with his own tie, throwing up peace signs.

“My hero!” yelled Mila Russia, swinging Yuuri around. He laughed and bowed. Chris tried to drag him onto the dance floor but Yuuri begged for water and some cool air and a bathroom break because several glasses of champagne and some unidentified liquor were running their course.

Victor noticed Yuuri walking outside again and found himself following. Curious.

“That was impressive.” said Victor, “Oh sorry.” Yuuri had flinched when Victor came out, as if the comment was a blow and not a compliment.

“N-no, you just surprised me. Bit gone, remember?” Yuuri sat on the balustrade and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, flapping the ends to cool himself off.

“Ahh, yes. Well, it was amazing. Your dancing I mean. The choreography _alone_ -”

“Uuugh. Come on! There _has_ to be something else we can talk about besides skating.”

Victor stuttered, “Well, when you put it so bluntly-“

Yuuri winced, “Sorry, I get a bit.... unfiltered and wild when I’m drunk. I hope tomorrow you’ll forgive me for tonight.“ Yuuri grinned, pleased with his little speech.

Victor couldn’t help but laugh, “Depends on how you make it up to me. I have a dog, Makkachin.”

“Oh your poodle! So gorgeous!” gushed Yuuri and Victor grinned.

“Is Makkachin _that_ famous?”

“I think your dog has its own IG.” Yuuri tipped his head to the side, “Do you run it? I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Victor recognized flirting in many languages, including body language, and that’s what Yuuri was screaming at him. Hips tilted, eyes soft and searching, hands drumming out some rhythm only Yuuri could hear.

“I don’t, but you know... I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask you if _you_ ran it.” Victor doesn’t step closer, but he cants his hip too and rests his hand on his waist, doesn’t smile. Wide eyes usually did the trick for everyone.

“No....” muses Yuuri, turning away, and Victor’s satisfied to see him look a bit uncomfortable, “That’d be weird. Too weird even for me. Oh, the music’s good again. Are you coming?” And Yuuri leaves him out on the balcony to run inside.

Victor scoffs and follows at a more dignified pace.

The general music started again and Chris quickly pounced on Yuuri, dragging him away from Mila for a dance. Yuuri snagged the bottle of liquor from Chris and pour some into his mouth. They held onto one another, shouting and raving to the music.

Yuuri sees Mila and Yuri both dancing as well as some of the other skaters, but... “Where’s Victor?”

Chris, taller than him by a solid seven inches, at least, looks around. Yuuri pulled himself up by using Chris’ broad shoulders and he was steadied with an arm around his waist.

“Are you feeling me up?” Yuuri pretended to be scandalized.

“No. But I can if you’d like,” said Chris, grinning demurely.

“There he is, what’s he doing?”

“Looks like schmoozing.” said Chris, “Ask him to dance!”

“I already tried! Twice! He doesn’t want to” said Yuuri, looking unfazed by the rejections, “Why should I again?”

“Because maybe you didn’t do it right. Victor’s... picky.” said Chris, “Trust me! Just drag him over here! Say any old stupid thing to surprise him.” Yuuri let go of Chris’ shoulders and dropped to the floor, frowning deeply, trying to parse his own drunken and rational thoughts into neat rows. Chris shoved him off the dancefloor and Yuuri’s drunken brain yanks him the rest of the way, _any old thing, just surprise him. Got it._

“Where are you going?” Yuri Russia’s following Yuuri, Chris managed to intercept the kid, “He’s getting Victor. Come back to the dance floor.”

“Victor Russia!” said Yuuri, stealing the flute of champagne from Victor’s fingers, “How dare you?”

“Uh?” Victor took in the rumpled and frankly silly appearance of Yuuri, he still had his tie wrapped around his head, the only difference seemed to be how drunk he was. “Excuse me?”

Yuuri motioned to the dance floor, “Dance with me! What’s your poison? Break dancing? Ballroom? lindy hop? Waltz? Polka? Interpretive?” Yuuri held out his hand, tipping his chin towards the dance floor. “ _Don’t_ think I haven’t noticed you hanging back and taking pictures of me and Yuri Russia! Or the flirtations.”

Victor gasped, “I’m _wounded_.” He grinned and pulled out his phone to snap a picture, “I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about.”

Yuuri makes a face and Victor giggles, taking another picture. Yuuri takes a swig of the Brut: another picture. And another of Yuuri trying to take his phone.

“Enough! No more pictures,” He holds out his hand, managing to look not completely wasted, “Stop being boring!”

Victor took Yuuri’s hand, his fingers resting lightly on Yuuri’s palm. “What are we waiting for then, Yuuri Japan?”

Yuuri’s hand was warm as he lead Victor onto the dance floor, “I was waiting for _you_ , Victor Russia!”

They danced two songs, leaving Victor breathless, before Yakov came to find him again.

“Victor, someone wants to speak with you.”

“Booo,” muttered Yuuri under his breath, he squeezed Victor’s fingertips and released him, immediately joining Mila and Chris’ dancing.

Victor’s heart pounding from more than the dance, he looked back, but Yuuri was absorbed in twirling Mila around, and then having Mila twirl Yuri until the young boy was dizzy.

Eventually, Victor managed to slip away from Yakov. Yuuri was dancing alone in a one man flamenco show. Victor grinned and caught Chris’s eye, who egged him on. Victor stepped onto the dance floor behind Yuuri and did some silly moves, more posing than anything for the benefit of the person taking pictures. Yuuri didn’t notice him. The music changed rhythm and Victor tried copying Yuuri who was making expressive hand gestures. He spun and caught sight of Victor.

“You’re back!”

Victor couldn’t mistake the blush that crept up Yuuri’s face for anything other than pleasure.

“I couldn’t stay away from you,” laughed Victor, “Keep dancing! I’ve almost got it.”

“No, don’t copy me!” said Yuuri, scandalized, but he kept dancing, his hair spiking up in ten different directions. “Be dramatic!” he instructed, breathing hard.

Victor grinned and took a wide step around Yuuri, cocking his hip out and posing again. A tuba lowed at them in a fast beat.

Yuuri pretended to be a bull, fingers mocking as horns. Victor laughed and whipped his jacket off, spinning it with flair. In two quick lunges, Yuuri brushed by him, turning and circling Victor. His eyes were dark and Victor felt himself flush, not with embarrassment, but with anticipation. Yuuri’s half grin made it clear he knew what Victor thought. Victor held his jacket up and Yuuri waltzed forward, brushing Victor’s arm, he spun and knocked Victor with his hip. Victor stumbled, but Yuuri grasped his arm and finished the sequence by spinning them together, his thigh under Victor’s knee, tipping him over, yet preventing his fall.

 “Defeat!” Yuuri grinned and righted them. He waited for Victor to put on his jacket again, “Tired yet?”

“Not on your life.” said Victor, all teeth and glittering eyes.

“A tango then!” crowed Yuuri, he circled Victor once more, hands twisting and feet stomping out an unfamiliar rhythm.

Victor copied him, stepping close, “How are you so good at so many dances?”

“Jack of all trades,” answered Yuuri, “I love dancing. Been doing it since I could walk.”

“I’m no good past what I need for skating,” said Victor, sweating and trying to keep up. Whenever Yuuri stepped close, Victor got a whiff of alcohol and whatever pleasant cologne Yuuri wore. It was exhilarating to be so mediocre at something, to have this drunken man laughing and correcting him happily, as if this is where Yuuri felt most comfortable, dictating what was and wasn’t acceptable on the dancefloor. Yuuri slid a hand around Victor’s waist, hooking his fingers on Victor’s belt loops as they twirled, and just as easily releasing him.

Yuuri swept by Victor and turned, close enough to see the outline of his iris, “If you let me lead, it’s easier.” He remained close, circling Victor, chin tipped down demurely; the coy maiden.

Victor nodded, his throat tightening in want.

It _was_ easier, Yuuri’s hands were warm even if his arms were sweaty. He swept Victor into a forward dip, hand light on his stomach. “It’s easy, right?” Yuuri was breathing hard, right onto his neck, and Victor shivered. They circled slowly, Yuuri’s fingers drumming that rhythm on Victor’s hip, Yuuri’s other hand canted above his head, swept down, lightly tracing the line from shoulder to hip of Victor’s body, never enough for Victor to be sure he wasn’t just imagining the sensation. It made Victor laugh and Yuuri joined him, glad to share this dance. Victor leaned his weight back and Yuuri’s hands were on his neck, supporting him.

The tango ended and Yuuri spun him upright, their hands loosely clasped as everyone waited for the next song to begin.

“I need water,” said Yuuri, holding onto his side.

“Me too,” admitted Victor.

“Drinks for the dancers!” said Chris, his shirt fluttering open, kept in place by his tie.

Yuuri took a deep pull and coughed, “This is alcohol!”

“Yeah, so? I thought you were thirsty?” Chris asked innocently.

Victor sipped half of his cup and managed to find a bottle of water, he drank half and offered Yuuri the other. Yuuri felt like he was swimming through the water, he grabbed more water bottles and handed one to Victor.

“Are you alright?” Victor’s jacket hung off of his far shoulder and Yuuri wondered where _his_ jacket had landed.

“Aaah? Just wondering where my jacket went.” Yuuri gnawed on his lip. Victor’s hands clenched as Yuuri bit his lip, tangling his hands through his hair and pulling, _actually pulling_ on his hair as the thought. If Chris didn’t jump Yuuri’s bones, or if Mila didn’t, or if... Victor wondered how many people exactly were angling for a shot at dragging Yuuri away, including him. _God, that was humbling._

“I’m going to go and try to find it. B-R-B!” and he sprinted off, tie thrown back over his shoulder, shirt flapping open.

“Here you are, Victor. Where’s Yuuri run off to?”

“Uh,” grunts Victor, trying to make his thought coherent, “[Dammit.] His jacket... is lost.”

“Oh... hm, well let’s go dance while he finds it. I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.”

.

Yuuri came back and informing them that his jacket’s been found. “One last dance off!” said Chris, grinning broadly, “Victor, I’m afraid to say you were thoroughly beaten. You’re two for two, Yuuri Japan!”

“What?? What dance off?” Victor glances at Yuuri who also looks puzzled and shit faced.

“It wasn’t a competition!” said Yuuri quickly, “It was just for fun. I would _never-_ ”

“So naive! So gentle!” Chris interrupts, “Everything is a competition! And there’s always a prize!”

“Well, with Yuri Russia I did it just for pure satisfaction. But I wasn’t aiming to win anything when I danced with Victor.”

“But now you’re dancing with me,” said Chris, loftily, “And I demand a prize. How about a kiss?” He leaned into Yuuri who laughed, but didn’t move away.

“Well that’s dumb,” answered Yuuri, “No matter who wins or loses it’s all the same.”

“True,” pouted Chris, then glanced at Victor, “Victor can be the prize then. A smooch!” It was sly, very sly, but Victor wasn’t about to kiss either his friend or this drunk tornado.

“I’m not a prize!”

Chris ignored Victor and grabbed Yuuri by the shoulders. “It doesn’t have to be a smooch, what do you want from Victor, Yuuri. Name your desire!”

And Yuuri’s easy stance, the sloppy posture disappears, melts off him as he catches Victor’s eyes, he shakes Chris off and walks in close to Victor as if trying to decide whether Victor is worthy of what he’s about to ask.

“I don’t know Chris...” said Yuuri, doubtful, giving Victor a quick once over, it’s almost impersonal. And Victor has to grin at that, _little shit._ “My dancing’s proved to be unbeatable, also I don’t want to make Victor uncomfortable.”

Chis sighs, “Well, let’s let Victor decide.” They both turn to him and Victor’s too stunned by Yuuri’s dark gaze, to do more than laugh, “ No more than a kiss! Nothing more.”

Chris said, “Deal!”

But Yuuri frowns, “I don’t want a kiss though.” Victor freezes, when he realizes that Yuuri isn’t joking. Is in fact considering what he really wants from Victor, dragging long fingers through his hair and tugging on it. Chris swallows visibly, and Victor wants to agree.

“Well....” Yuuri looks like he’s still trying to decide, “What kind of dance off do you want, anyway?”

Chris grins, all teeth and charm, “A pole dance.”

Victor sputters, “You can’t! Yuuri, you’ll get hurt if you don’t know how!” He grabs Yuuri’s shoulder but is shaken off.

Yuuri wraps himself around Victor, snuggling into him, “I don’t want a kiss. What I want is for you to visit me when the season ends. My family owns a hot springs,” his voice is thick and Victor feels himself weighed down by it. Yuuri’s eyes alight and he starts blabbering in what’s probably Japanese although Victor can’t be sure. Yuuri tightens his grip, reverting to English “You’ll come, right? I’d love it if you came and hung out with me!” he gasped, his cheeks and nose bright red, “You can be my coach for next season! Say yes Victor! Be my coach~!” Yuuri’s face was excited, but Victor didn’t get a word in because Yuuri turned to Chris, his face hardening.

“I’m in,” said Yuuri, stripping off his shirt and throwing it at Victor, he threw his pants onto a nearby table. Hesitantly, Victor tried to pull the tie off Yuuri’s head, but Yuuri pulled it back over his neck and tightened it a little.

“I’m going to win,” said Yuuri fiercely, his voice hoarse. Victor wasn’t sure Chris or anyone else but he heard the declaration.

Victor gaped at them. At first they took turns posing and shimmying down the pole, _where did that pole even come from?_ But then Chris hopped on with Yuuri, having cracked open a fresh bottle of Brut, and all hell broke loose. At one point, Yuuri stood on Chris’ thighs, chanting in Japanese and tossing liquor into the air. When they finally came down, Chris admitted defeat and Yuuri excitedly pulled on his pants and shirt, getting it on inside out.

“I won! Did you see!” Yuuri asked, eyes bright.

“I saw everything,” said Victor grinning, “I’m sure I’m the one who won this bet!”

“Nooo,” cried Yuuri, “Please, I won!!” He gasped, “You promised!”

“I did,” murmured Victor, grinning as Yuuri babbled in Japanese again, making extravagant gestures. Yuuri grew serious, “You promised.” Victor couldn’t help himself, he ran a hand through Yuuri’s hair, his sticky, sweaty hair. It didn’t matter, he could wash his hand later. “I promised.”

Yuuri sighed happily and collapsed onto a chair. He tried to get his shoes on, failed and bundled his shoes into his jacket.

Chris was dressed as well, looking composed for the amount of liquor he’d drank. “Victor, can you take care of Yuuri?”

“Oh... Of course.” Victor looked down at the drunken mess swaying in the seat, cradling his bundle of jacket and shoes. At least the shoes were tasteful.

“Yuuri,” Victor kneeled down and Yuuri smiled at him blearily, “how drunk are you?”

“Who _are_ you?” asked Yuuri, inching away from Victor. Victor flinched and Yuuri cracked up, “Sorry! Sorry! I couldn’t help myself. I’m _so_ drunk. I’m like- I’m like!” Yuuri shimmied and cackled again, sagging over his knees to laugh.

Victor hauled him upright, “Okay, ha ha. You’ve had your fun. Now let me take you to bed.”

Yuuri’s shoulders jerked back as Victor lead him out of the banquet hall. “A joke, Yuuri,” he said gently and Yuuri relaxed.

“Oh, right. Joking. Sorry.” Yuuri leaned into him, wrapping an arm around Victor for support.

“Don’t sound _so_ relieved,” grumbled Victor, “Flatter me a little at least.” They made it into the elevator and Yuuri slid into the wall, hanging onto the railing.

“You don’t need flattery, you just _are._ ”

“Are what?” Victor can’t help but tease him.

“Are gorgeous,” said Yuuri absently, “You probably have a lover in every city.”

“Probably,” laughed Victor, turning to regard Yuuri seriously, “But don’t turn yourself into a hypocrite, how many lovers do _you_ have scattered about?”

Yuuri snorted, “All my lovers are where I’ve thrown down roots. ”

And for some reason they fall silent, but Victor lets it envelop them. Yuuri’s clutching to his clothes, socked feet sliding slightly on the smooth tile. “They must be very lucky, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looks at Victor like he’s just said something incomprehensible and Victor falls silent again

Yuuri’s room is modest and neat. Yuuri goes to take a shower, in his shirt and socks. Victor doesn’t feel comfortable leaving so he just waits. When Yuuri stumbles out, looking refreshed and less wrecked Victor says.

“Do you want my number?”

“ _Do_ I?” Yuuri giggles at some joke only he’s privy to.

“ _Do_ you?” asks Victor, his own phone already out, waits while Yuuri brushes his teeth and pulls on a shirt and sweat pants.

Yuuri collapses on his bed and Victor asks, “Phone?”

“My jacket pockets.” Victor fishes the phone out and hands it over, Yuuri gets the password on the third try, his eyes are crossing and he feels like he’s blinking for long periods of time. One minute he’s dancing with Chris, and then blink he’s drinking water, and then blink he’s taking a shower, and now blink. He’s handing Victor his phone. Blink, blink, blink, blink, it’s disorienting.

Victor looks at him for a second. “I’d love to stay, Yuuri. [But you’re in no condition to accept any of my advances].”

Yuuri quirks his head, “Don’t Russian at me, Vicchan. Stay if you’d like, don’t know why you’d want to. [It’s only me].”

Victor grins, “ Hypocrite, Yuuri Japan. The bucket’s by your bed. Night.”

Yuuri curls under the covers, “Don’t forget.”

“Call me! I won’t come if you don’t call, it would be too awkward if I just showed up, right?”

“Mhm,” agrees Yuuri, “Very. I’ll call.”

“Don’t forget.”

“I won’t.”

\------------------------

Victor tapped into instagram again and scrolled through Yuuri’s friend list, he didn’t want to befriend just a random friend of Yuuri’s, but he also needed an in to what Yuuri was doing, why he hadn’t called, it had been weeks.

VICTOR <3: Does the name Chulanont ring a bell?

CHRIS <3: I haven’t rung his bells, so no, sorry.

VICTOR <3:  >.> Be serious! NVM

Victor tapped on Phichit Chulanont’s IG, _it’s public! There he is!_

VICTOR<3: Got him! No thanks to you.

CHRIS <3: Just fuckign text him!

Victor didn’t respond, instead he devoured the photos of Yuuri that Phichit Chulanont posted: lots of skating, lots of funny faces, lots of beautiful selfies from Phichit. Lots of photos of Yuuri just being a blur, trying to dodge Phichit’s camera. Victor’s blood runs cold at the caption in one of the photos of Yuuri and Phichit in front of an airport, “What will I do without you??? Take care!! Don’t give up!! Keep going!! #I’m going to miss this goofball so much.”

 _Don’t give up._ Was Yuuri taking a break? Victor gnawed on a finger and scratched Makkachin’s head.

“What could this mean?” Makkachin didn’t know and snuggled up to Victor.

\---------------

Victor took a break and skated over to Mila who was ogling some video.

“What are you watching?” Victor asked grumpily, Mila never got yelled at for having her phone out.

Immediately, Mila flicked her screen off, “Nothing.”

“She’s watching that weirdo perv skate your routine,” said Yuri with a perverse sense of satisfaction, “again.”

“What? Who?” Victor leaned forward, “Come on, show me.”

Mila glared at Yuri, “Grow up.” she snarled and Yuri skated off, making a rude gesture.

Reluctantly, Mila unpaused the video, “Yuuri Japan.” She said and then Stammi Vicino begun playing through the speakers.

“Victor!” boomed Yakov, “What are you doing? Get over here!”

Mila quickly hid her phone from Yakov. “Victor, I didn’t want you to see it like this. I was going to-“

But he waved her away and hurried off the ice, _I won’t be able to see it in peace, I might as well go home and come to evening practice. Until then I won’t be able to think of anything else._

 _“_ Where are you going, Victor?”

“I’m coming back for evening practice instead.” And Victor hurried to his locker before he could be stopped. His phone had fifty new messages which he ignored.

.

“Makkachin! Yum! Look!” Victor opened his hands and tossed jerky at his dog, after Makkachin finished his treats, Victor carried him to the couch and opened the video of Yuuri skating his program.

It was good, it was rough, so rough. But there was something powerful in seeing Stammi Vicino in this state, Yuuri skated it with his soul bare, eyes dripping with sorrow and furor in turns. Victor curled into himself, squishing Makkachin. Victor knew what he looked like skating to Stammi, and he knew he didn’t look like _that_. Raw and dripping with emotion, the music seeming to burst forth from his mouth, from his fingertips. Eyes vulnerable and begging for one last chance..... Like a call.

Victor clicked the screen off, he tapped his forehead, thinking. He swallowed and stood, pacing. He called Yakov, “Yakov, I don’t feel good. I’m skipping evening practice. Can you check on me tomorrow morning?”

“Are you okay?”

“Just a stomach bug I think, but if I don’t feel better I should just stay home... right?”

“Yes, definitely. I’ll come by after morning practice, call me if you need me before. I’m sure I can squeeze you into a clinic or something.”

“Thanks Yakov.”

Quickly, and feeling almost feverish, Victor opened his phone and searched for ticket prices for Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor put in his number into Yuuri's phone, yes. But typed in his name as something stupid like: V. Russia/ Vic/Victor <3 and the only text he sent yuuri was "hey~" which Yuuri immediately deleted along with a few other numbers because he KNOWS he drank a lot and knows he probably made a fool of himself and knows that whoever is texting him (victor is a super common name after all) probably just wants to sleep with him and nothing more. So yuuri deletes everything except Chris' number because he recognizes that name and he's also SOMEHOW friends with Chris on instagram.
> 
> Yuuri has been to parties before where he's gotten really drunk and received awkward propositions from people the next day, so he's in the habit of purging his phone after a night of shenanigans.


	16. Until Next Season

It was time.

Yuuri leaned on the half wall, breathing deeply.

“Yuuri.” _A promise, a kiss, warmth, love_. Victor smiled at him, a soft almost tender thing.

Yuuri looked up and smiled at Victor, who took his hand and kissed his ring, eyes never leaving Yuuri’s face. He said nothing more, just laid warm lips against Yuuri’s skin.

“See you on the other side,” Yuuri touched Victor’s face and took to the ice. Barcelona’s rink is familiar by now, and Barcelona itself feels like home by now. Yuuri greets the cheers and strikes his beginning pose.

The song begins and Yuuri immediately knows he’s off, the eros just isn’t there, the buzz of his mind isn’t buzzing like it should. Instead his mind wanders to that morning Victor had  decided to wake Yuuri up by pressing his cold feet to Yuuri’s back, whining about winter. Yesterday in the ruins Victor had gotten dirt on his favorite coat they wasted an hour looking for a dry cleaners that would clean the stupid coat, Yuuri almost smiles. And just before they’d gone into the locker room, Yuuri had made Victor blush with something stupid he’d said, it hadn’t mattered what, but Yuuri had been delighted with Victor’s reaction. _Shit, what was happening?_

.

Victor tapped his fingers against his lips, running his thumb along the golden ring. _He looks like a storm out there,_ Victor’s heart is pounding in his ears, he feels flushed though he isn’t even moving, and already there is music and movement running through his mind, _for next year_ , mused Victor. But he isn’t sure for whom, Yuuri said he’d missed Victor’s skating, but Victor had only shaken that idea away, dismissed it s something silly. But... no... Victor imagined Yuuri in a stormy half-cloak on the ice.

Yuuri hit his first combination jump and Victor clenched his fist in delight. His heart pounded harder now, the pulse racing in his neck. The quad flip isn’t perfect, but Victor’s already running down to the step off, even as Yuuri is still finishing the last sequence, throwing his last lover aside. And then he sinks to the ice, clearly disappointed in his performance. Victor waits.

The scores aren’t Yuuri’s best, but he has Victor’s arm in a death vice and Victor quickly hustles him away from the cameras. His own blood is singing for Yuuri as they lock themselves in the bathroom, but instead of kissing one another they just stare, Yuuri clutching Victor’s face, fingers tracing the curve of his jaw. And Victor holds Yuuri tightly, pulling him in so Yuuri knows he’s there, can ground him and they  just hold one another, bodies pressed together, familiar and wanted. Victor kisses him, still sweaty and looking wild, Yuuri allows himself to be kissed but remains passive, simply staring at Victor, still tracing the curves of his face and neck.

“I messed up.”

“I love you.”

Yuuri finally melted into him, arms finally, finally bringing in Victor close, curving himself into Victor’s embrace. Yuuri sniffled into his chest and then sighed, leaning back, taking a good look at Victor. “Go on,” said Yuuri, “I’ll do the interviews. Can you grab us a couple of seats?”

“Sure,” Victor nuzzled one last time into Yuuri, kissing him before they unlock the bathroom door to slip out. Yuuri caught Victor’s hand one last time, searching Victor’s gaze without saying anything. And then turned away.

“That was pretty lackluster, Katsuki.”

Yuuri turned to JJ, shrugged and continued walking.

“Aw come on, and I thought you were going to bite me, you’re into that, right?” JJ followed after him, voice light and teasing.

Yuuri reflected that JJ looked a bit nervous, he stopped, allowing JJ to catch up. “You’re on soon, right? Good luck.” Even though JJ was getting on his last nerve, Yuuri managed to keep his tone light.

If JJ is surprised by Yuuri’s neutral tone, he managed to hide it well enough. His face flickered and then said. “I know you imploded at last year’s GP. Tell me, any advice on how to avoid that?” It’s clear JJ is only joking in that heavy handed was characteristic of him, but then said, “Don’t worry. I’m sure Victor will love you anyway, no matter the circumstances.” It cut too close, and Yuuri bristled at the intrusive touch on his shoulder, JJ was too close to him and Yuuri balked.

Yuuri pretended to think about JJ’s comments, gently knocking his right hand against his jaw, “I don’t recommend having crippling anxiety, oh and don’t think of the crushing weight of what will happen if you fail. Is that all?” Yuuri half bowed, “Your majesty.” And turned away before he could regret those words and luckily, JJ didn’t follow.

The interviews went smoothly enough and afterward, Yuuri hustled to the upper seats, hoping Victor got them decent seats. But Victor is at the top of the stairs, face blank in thought as he watched Yurio finish skating. Yuuri almost calls for him, but notices the intense gaze. He shivers, remembering that focus during their last few weeks of practice. Yuuri hears the scores called and the crowd lose their minds.

Victor turns, “Oh Yuuri.”

“I’ll be back,” yells Yuuri leaping down the stairs, he runs through the hallways and finally spots Yakov so where-?

Yurio is talking to a journalist, but then finishes and walks away, catching sight of Yuuri.

His grin is wide enough to split and Yuuri manages to run him down, that or Yurio allows himself to be caught, and he scoops Yurio into a hug.

“You! Beautiful!” manages Yuuri and puts Yurio down who’s so puffed up, Yuuri is afraid he’ll float away.

Yakov walks over and congratulates Yuuri.

“I’m going with Katsuki to watch the other skaters.” Yurio grabs his sleeve.

“All right.” says Yakov, “Don’t wander, though.”

They stomp up the stairs, and Yurio snags a seat above Yuuri and Victor, halfway through Chris’ performance. Yuuri watches Victor’s face instead of Chris, Victor is smiling looking spaced, looking thoughtful.

Chris puts Yuuri in third place and Yuuri feels Yurio lightly kick his seat in reproach. Yuuri turns, “We really have to find better ways for you to communicate, Yurio.” And for his trouble, Yuuri gets another kick to the chair.

Victor glances at Yurio quizzically, and then at Yuuri before turning back to the ice to watch Otabek.

Victor taps his chin, different combinations twisting themselves in his mind, new combinations of old jumps, _Yuuri’s ballet is impressive, I bet I could do something more with that skill, something new_. And to his surprise, he also imagines himself in a few of the half dreamt sequences, what Yuuri had said must have hit a nerve. Victor sighs and feels Yuuri reach for him, he absently takes Yuuri’s hand. _Do I really want to go back to it?_ He glances at Yuuri and he briefly considers what his days would be like without Yuuri, they would be separated by oceans, countries, time, everything. He shakes his head and Yuuri squeezes his hand. He considers the alternative, his retirement, coaching Yuuri and watching him skate on the ice, and them traveling the world together. But his brain and heart both betray him as Otabek finishes his step sequence, throwing Victor more fodder for his day dreams. He can’t pair skate with Yuuri if he’s retired...

Otabek’s score places him in second. Yuuri exhales, feeling Yurio’s smug smile on the back of his head. But Victor doesn’t seem to care, he’s so excited over Otabek’s score, chatting with Yurio about Otabek’s style. Yuuri watches JJ take to the ice. _Jerk_. And he hears Yurio mutter something much more profane, but to the same effect.

It was a disaster. Yuuri clutched onto himself as he watched JJ implode on the ice. Yuuri felt a twinge of regret, hoping he hadn’t been the cause. _No, JJ looked nervous even before I talked to him, and I doubt he’s in that much awe of me that I could shake him. But JJ’s so pig headed, he won’t give up just because of this._ And as Yuuri thought, in the end JJ picked himself up and swore a comeback.

\--------------

After finally managing to kick Chris out of their room, Yuuri waited for Victor to come out of the shower, he looked through his phone and finally, Victor emerged, pink and warm. Hair still dripping.

“You looked like you enjoyed watching everyone skate,” said Yuuri, trying to broach the subject sideways.

“I did,” Victors eyes sparkle, “I’ve got a few ideas for next season too.”

Yuuri stabbed at the opportunity, heart thudding in his chest. “I’m sure you’ll do great next season. I’m sure everyone will love it, love you just like I do.” Victor took a breath, an a single syllable came out, confusion crawling across his face.

 “I _did_ tell you I was retiring.” said Yuuri gently, trying to take the sting out of his words, “And I think it’s time for you to go back, right? What’s skating without you?” Yuuri bowed deeply, “I’m really thankful for this past year with you. I...I’ve loved every second of it.” He’s silent, keeping his head down, wanting Victor to break the awful silence.

Victor sniffs hard. Yuuri looks up and is shocked to see Victor crying. Silent tears stream down Victor’s face, but he looks almost blank, his eyes staring at Yuuri’s knee.

“Damn you...” breathed Victor, “I know you’re quiet and keep a lot of things to yourself. But this? God, this hurts. I didn’t know you were _this_ selfish. How dare you compare _our_ love with theirs.” The tears continue to stream down his face, but Victor’s face is still blank, as if he doesn’t know exactly what to do with himself.

Yuuri knows better than to be cowed or swayed, just because Victor’s annoyed at him, “It’s true I’m selfish. It’s also true that I’m retiring. I can’t steal you away forever, Victor, I’m not _that_ selfish.”

Victor’s breath stops for a momenta and fresh tears spill over his cheeks, “Aren’t you though? I’ve given you everything and I thought you had accepted it, and now...”

“I’m giving it back,” said Yuuri firmly, “You can’t stay on the sidelines as my coach forever Victor. I want you back on the ice.”

“Oh, so now it’s all about what _you_ want?” Victor finally lifts his eyes, and except for the tears, he remains perfect. Yuuri reaches out to brush the hair from his eyes, but Victor slaps his hand down and Yuuri finally sees the tension in his neck, how his hands are shaking.

“I didn’t think you would be this sad.”

“I’m not sad!” Victor stood over Yuuri, looming, “I’m pissed that you think you can just _order_ me back onto the ice without-“

Yuuri stood as well and crushed Victor to his chest, “I can’t see you like this anymore Vitya. I know you want to go back, and I want that too. I’ll follow wherever you go, but please, please skate for me again.”

Victor chokes down the sob, but Yuuri must feel it catch in his chest because Yuuri runs a soothing hand down his back. Victor controls himself and slowly pulls Yuuri’s arms off, “I don’t want you to retire.”

“I don’t want you to retire either.”

“Well I guess we both just run away to some city and live in domestic bliss?” Victor’s hands are shaking, and Yuuri flinches at Victor’s sharp tone.

“I..I...”

“You can’t make decisions for me, Yuuri. In what silly world of yours are you living in right now?”

Yuuri stammers something out, but Victor shakes his head, “I’m sorry love, but that’s just not how it works.”

“You can’t change my mind,” said Yuuri, “I know your heart, Victor.”

“You forget that your heart is also mine, darling.” Victor’s so close, face still wet, but at least he’s no longer crying. “I’m not going to let you do this to me.”

“But I-“ Yuuri, “I already made my decision.”

Victor hissed and pulled away, out of Yuuri’s reach. “I thought you understood this,” Victor spun his ring and slides it halfway off his finger, eyes intent of Yuuri’s face, “But you don’t, do you?”

“I understand enough to know that this won’t be enough for you, you’ll resent me eventually. I would rather you... I would rather you hated me.” Yuuri pressed the heel of his handover his mouth, he suddenly looked very tired, “Victor. You’re an athlete who’s still capable of so many incredible things. You inspire so many people-“

“But not you,” Victor’s voice is hard, like the sea dashing itself on the cliffs, “You’re impervious to me.”

“I’m the least capable of resisting you,” corrected Yuuri.

“But I can’t get you onto the ice, so what’s the point.” Victor sits down next to him, turned away, “You’ve become _my_ inspiration Katsudon, and without you, I don’t know if I want to skate anymore.”

Yuuri let the silence fill the room, thinking, “I... Am I really an inspiration for you?”

“You’re _the_ inspiration, Yuuri. You giant dummy.” Victor’s voice is still raw, still full of broken glass and anger. “You absolute-“ and on impulse he reached over and wrapped his arms around Yuuri, “terror! You selfish-!” he kisses Yuuri’s forehead, “selfish man!” Yuuri struggles against Victor’s embrace, laughing and Victor thinks that Yuuri’s crying too, but he can’t be sure.

Yuuri hugs Victor and tries to pry himself away, but Victor holds on with dogged determination. “I won’t let go until you reconsider.”

“W-what?”

“I want you to promise to think about what I’ve said-“

“About what?” Yuuri tried to tickle Victor but with no result. Victor only squeezed Yuuri’s head tighter, scolding him, “You absolutely horrible, horrible fiancé!”

Yuuri laughed and buried his face into Victor’s neck, relaxing into Victor until Victor had no choice but to readjust his grip and cradled Yuuri to him instead.

“About retiring.”

Victor nodded.

“Well, I want you to rethink it too.”

Victor laughed, “What... are we _both_ suppose to continue skating?”

“ _That_ would be funny,” said Yuuri, “Can you imagine? But you’d be too far away, we’d never see one another. I don’t want that.” Yuuri hugged Victor to him, breathing in the now familiar scent of Victor’s cologne, “I love you, Victor. I’m... I’m sorry.”

“You don’t even know what you’re sorry for, you monster.” Victor squeezed Yuuri fondly, rubbing his mouth over Yuuri’s hair.

“Mm,” said Yuuri, “I do actually. I’m sorry for making you think that I don’t understand what you feel. I understand, perfectly. Can I get up now, my neck’s starting to hurt.”

Reluctantly, Victor released him, “As long as you don’t go around saying anymore stupid things, Katsuki.”

“Mm, I won’t.” Yuuri nuzzled into Victor’s mouth, offering comfort and reassurance, “I know what you want, Vitya. And I’m giving it to you, don’t doubt me please.” Victor’s pulse jumped under Yuuri’s hand, making him chuckle. “And don’t worry, I will _never_ leave you. Do _you_ understand? No matter what happens, Victor, we’ll leave together.”

“Okay,” said Victor, he touched Yuuri’s face gently, relieved to hear Yuuri’s words, and as Yuuri ran his hands down Victor’s chest, pushing him back onto the bed, Victor said, “Thank you for saying that. I...” he sniffed hard and Yuuri quickly kissed him again, light chaste kisses across his face, each finger and knuckle, “I know, Victor. I know. I love you, I’m right here.” He kissed Victor’s forehead, “I’ll always be right here, okay?” He kissed Victor’s chin, his jaw, the soft warm spot between jaw and neck, Victor’s hands clung to him, pulling him close, closer until Yuuri peeled their clothes off and continue to offer Victor whatever he needed.

Victor sleeping was always a wonder to Yuuri, completely the opposite of Victor awake. While he was awake Victor was all sinewy bursts of energy and excitement, unfettered oodles of verve and crazy ideas that made Yuuri dizzy. But sleeping, Victor was soft and slack and so vulnerable that Yuuri ached, his entire body felt wretched at being able to see Victor like this, like peering into the secret heart of Victor, where he didn’t have to worry about anything and allowed Yuuri to protect him while he rested. And he’d told Victor he was going to retire, Yuuri kissed Victor’s cheek, breathing in their mingled scents. But it had to be one or the other. It’s not like Victor would take any other coach than Yakov, and it’s not like Yuuri could turn to another coach, not after Victor.

...

JJ and Phichit both skate wonderfully, Yuuri’s dislike for JJ cementing itself as the scores are called.

Yuuri glanced at Victor who stared impassively back at him, just a glimmer of anger breaking through the mask “You can do this.”

“I know.” He stepped onto the ice, waiting for the stuffed toys and flowers to be picked up.

“Yuuri, you can do this.” repeated Victor. And Yuuri had to smile at that, had to force his face into something genuine and soft to ease Victor’s thoughts.

“Ah, I thought I told you at the beginning of all this that I didn’t want you to be anyone but yourself. Be Victor for me. Let me smile one last time on the ice.” And it works, Victor’s eyes melt.

“You’re right...I _have_ been wondering why you haven’t won a single gold medal for me in the GP series. I have taken very good care of you for almost a year. The least you could do is offer me that.”

Yuuri’s smile was bewildered and tremulous, “Victor?”

“It’s time to get out of warm up mode. Get me a gold medal to kiss, darling.” Yuuri scoffed and Victor’s arms went around him in a tight hug.

The music seemed to pierce Yuuri, if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine Ice Castle around them. Victor had been his star for so long, and now Yuuri had to stop being afraid of being burned. He clutched the feeling in his heart. _I’ll surprise Victor one last time_. Yuuri, on a whim, changed his jumps, turning toe loops into flips and triples into quads. He poured his love for Victor into the program, knowing Victor would see everything. And when he finished with the last quad flip landed, Yuuri knew he _knew_ it was going to convince Victor to come back to skating. _Go back to skating_ , rebuked Yuuri, _I won’t be there_ , _but you have my love, see it._ And he finished, heaving. It felt like moving through sand, everything felt gritty and unpleasant after the program finished. Victor hugged him tightly.

Waiting for the scores nearly tore Yuuri to shreds, he kept his eyes on the ground, Victor’s hand light on his back. “It was great Yuuri.”

But was it enough?

-Score for Katsuki, Yuuri- 221.58

Yuuri’s head swam, _I broke Victor’s record_. He looked at Victor who’s jaw tightened before throwing himself on Yuuri.

Victor drew him into a tight hug, mouth pressed against Yuuri’s ear. “I love you Yuuri, but having both you and Yurio beat my records in the same competition just pisses me off. I won’t stand for it, my love. I _won’t_.”

Yuuri draws back, mouth falling open, “Does that mean you’re going to skate again?” He grabs Victor’s face, stroking his skin.

“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” asks Victor, managing not to sound bitter, pulling Yuuri up, “Come on. I feel like kissing you senseless.” Yuuri laughs and follows Victor as Chris’ music begins.

The locker room is empty and Victor kisses Yuuri until he’s gasping, fingers tingling. Yuuri ignores the pain in his feet, enjoying the extra inches to pull Victor into him. Grinning like a wolf, Victor backs Yuuri into a private dressing partition and pulls his skates off, Yuuri shrugs out of his jacket and laughs as Victor runs his hands up Yuuri’s sides, kissing the nape of his neck. Victor pulls back and Yuuri sits back down, breathing hard.

“Alright,” says Victor, all innocence and charm, “Finish getting dressed so we can watch Yurio skate.”

“You’re just going to leave me like this?” demands Yuuri.

“I’m afraid so, my love,” murmurs Victor, leaning in for one last kiss. And he disappears. Victor takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror, disheveled. He smooths his hair back.

.

Yuri doesn’t notice something is wrong until Lilia catches onto his arm. He turns and quickly takes out his headphones.

“..... my return for the Russian Nationals,” Victor’s eyes were shining.

Yakov is speechless and Yuri lunges for Victor’s arm, “Wait, what about Katsudon? Is he really going to retire then?” A nasty feeling bubbles up in Yuri.

Victor’s hair blocks most of his face, “Ah, he hasn’t decided yet. Yuuri’s waiting until the GP is over.” Victor finally looks up, measuring Yuri, “To see what the results are.” Victor pulls Yuri into a hug, tentative at first, and then tighter. Yuri feels like Victor is saying something more, there’s a desperation in the grip, and when he releases Yuri, almost can guess what Victor is feeling. But it’s over shadowed by what he himself feels, loss...no... helplessness....no...

Fury.

Yuri latches onto that.

.

Yuri steps onto the ice, circling once around the rink before coming to his starting position. _Watch closely Katsuki Yuuri, I’m going to crush you._

 _I can’t believe that he would just let himself go to waste, so what if you broke Victor’s record?_ Yuuri leans into his spiral and easily lands his jump. _Victor isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, we both broke his stupid records easily. What more can we do? How much farther can we push one another?_ Yuri is threatened by the feeling of despair, knowing that once Yuuri made up his mind, it was impossible to budge. _Bullshit! Bullshit!_ He screams to himself and his anger reignites and he misses the landing for his quad toe loop. Yuri almost curses out loud, instead he clamps his mouth shut and continues, his heart rebelling and shrieking, his mind a loud angry buzz. There’s a jagged pain under his ribs, his feet feel like they’ve ben scraped to the bone. But still, his thoughts are traitorous. _IF you retire now, I’ll make your life miserable. I’ll take Victor away, I’ll take everything!_ He finishes, and manages to hold the pose only a few seconds.

The tears come hot and quick, his knees hit the ice and cowers under the failure. He failed, he can’t get the feeling of the fall out of his mind. He failed and now he would have no one next year to challenge him, to be there with his stupid smile and encouragement. Yuri breaks under the knowledge that he admires likes Yuuri more than he wanted to, because Yuuri had challenged him but had also been something more than a friend. And Yuri had failed that stupid, reckless pig.

.

When the scores are called, Yuri feels numb, less than a point, less than half of a point. It’s nothing, it’s nothing at all. When the gold is placed around his neck he feels nothing still because Katsuki could claim to have done his best and run off back to Hasetsu, to nothing. Yuri clutches his flowers, wishing to beat the pig over the head with them. Yuri ignores Katsudon on the podium, even though he knows Yuuri is looking at him, Yuri stares straight ahead.

.

“I know it’s not what you wanted, but I _did_ beat your record.” Yuuri hold out the silver.

Victor gives him a hard grin, “Ah, but that wasn’t the deal, was it? Gold or nothing, darn it, and I was looking forward to it.” Victor steps close, grabbing Yuuri by the waist and bending him over the rink wall, “Gee, I wonder if you have any ideas that would lift my spirits, Yuuri?” He lays a warm kiss to Yuuri’s neck and Yuuri giggles, snorting. Then he goes quiet and Victor pulls back, easily looping his arms around Yuuri.

Yuuri goes glassy eyed for a moment and Victor cocks his head, “What did you just imagine, Yuuri?” His name is always more when Victor says it,  _A life, an embrace, a future, a promise._ Yuuri hears the answer in Victor’s voice.

Yuuri pushes Victor back, but it unbalances both of them and they crash to the floor, in a sprawl of arms and legs. “Victor, you _have_ to come back, please. As my coach I mean, for next year.” He grabs the lapels of Victor’s coat and pulls him close, Victor’s eyes go wide and for a moment Yuuri thinks Victor will kiss him. Instead Victor shouts and hugs Yuuri, “Oh, but don’t stop there! It’s making me _so_ happy.”

“Uh, sorry. I didn’t really make a speech,” Yuuri stutters and Victor laughs.

“No, what I meant was that since you’ve disappointed me this year, you’ll have to become a five time world champion for me to forgive you after the stunt you pulled last night, Yu- _ri_.” Victor’s laughing with his eyes, holding onto Yuuri’s arms. Yuuri sputters but laughs.

“Hey! Katsudon,” Yuri walks over, followed by most of the skaters, “What did you decide?”

“I’m not retiring,” Yuuri sighs and Yuri nods, satisfied.

“Well then, everyone is here, so it’s time to pay up.”

“Huh?” Victor stands, pulling Yuuri up after him, “Yurio, what’s going on?”

Yurio doesn’t respond, just picks up his gold medal and pointedly swings it slowly, “Katsudon.”

Chris, Otabek, and even the twins are there, even Nekola. Yuuri remembers and bursts out laughing. He takes off his guards steps onto the ice again, the stands are emptying, but there’s still a sizeable crowd.

“Alright, alright,” says Yuuri, “Victor, let go. I have a bet to pay.”

“That’s right,” says Yuri, a snarl hiding his grin. Victor doesn’t feel concerned until Yurio hops onto Yuuri’s back and they do a few laps. Yurio shouting and crowing.

“Did you know about this?” Chris is astonished.

“Ah... the two Yuris have a special relationship,” Victor admits faintly, he grins and waves at his Yuuri.

When they come back, Yuuri is laughing and Yurio is still crowing. Yurio shoots Victor an indecipherable look, “I’ll see you all at the banquet.”

Chris slings an arm around Yuuri, “Remind me to make more bets with you.”

“Oh, alright.” Yuuri suddenly feels drained and is grateful when Chris leaves. Victor leads him to the locker room but waits outside, Yuuri keeps quiet while he changes, feeling wrung out. Victor meets him outside, “Room service?”

Usually that would have been an easy answer, but... “Let’s go out to eat, just you and me.”

“Hey! Where do you two think you’re going?” Yurio spots them from across the foyer.

“If we run,” whispers Victor, only half joking, “We’ll probably get away.”

Yuuri giggles but holds Victor back as Yurio reaches them, “Are you two going out to eat?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m coming too, hold on let me invite Beka.”

“Oh, actually, Yurio, we were just going-“

Chris spots them and sidles over, “Hey, want to grab dinner?”

Yuuri snickers when Victor sags against him, he pulls his phone out to text Phichit.

.

It’s just as rowdy and annoying as Victor had feared, Yuri was a sore winner, although Yuuri’s hand squeezing his thigh was a big consolation.

Yuuri takes a small sip of his wine, “Victor, is Yakov going to coach you again?”

“Oh, yes.”

“In St. Petersburg?”

“Yes. What is it, my love?” Yuuri thoughtfully drinks more wine and Victor kisses the back of his ear, asks again, “What is it.”

“Well, I was trying to remember how much it cost me to move from Japan to Detroit.”

Victor stops cuddling Yuuri and frowns, “Why?”

“Because it’ll probably be about the same to move to St. Petersburg, right?” Yuuri pretends to take another sip of wine and Victor yelps and throws himself over Yuuri. Yuuri splashes wine over them both.

“You two need to cut that out,” snarls Yurio, “Seriously.”

“Did you hear the good news, Yurio!” Victor leaps forward, dragging Yuuri after him, chairs crashing to the floor, “Yuuri’s coming to Russia!”

“Oh. Fuck,” says Yurio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C:


End file.
